The Best Way to Figure Out You're Not Perfect...

The best way to find out you’re not perfect is to try something. Anything in fact. 

The ONLY way to keep up the deception of perfectionism is to not try at all, in which event you’ve already lost.

There's greater value in trying and failing than not pursuing at all.

Love Losing

Without a doubt, the greatest gift being an actor has given me is having zero fear of losing. And as hokey as it sounds, learning to sidestep failure and continue to push towards your aspirations is essential.

What I discovered in an industry where you’re told “No,” virtually 99 % of the time, is that failure isn’t a testament to your character, self-worth, or an accurate indicator of your talent. It’s just feedback – a way to assess where you’re at and where you need to be.

But the most important takeaway was that failure wasn’t my problem, my reaction to it was. Being told, “No, Maybe next time,” or “We’re going to pass,” used to put me in a tailspin. But the older I got the more I learned to take it in stride and incorporate those setbacks as integral parts of the longer journey.

Build the Right Philosophy

Before I went to college my dad told me there was no excuse for skipping class. “You can get a “C” just for showing up,” he said. His point was that half of success in life comes from the quality of our presence.

We have a choice in how we show up. And the foundation is the quality of our philosophy. In shaping my own beliefs I drew from 3 main tenets:

First, your time is limited. 

Your life is flying by! Don’t waste another second making the unimportant important or falling into the trap of believing there will always be a tomorrow.

Second, if someone doesn’t understand your dreams it’s their problem not yours. 

No matter what you do, there will never be complete agreement it’s an endeavor worth pursuing. Not everyone is going to get what you’re trying to do. And that’s okay.

Third, to not fear failure. 

Without a doubt, the greatest gift being an actor has given me is having zero fear of losing. And as hokey as it sounds, learning to sidestep failure and continue to push towards your aspirations is essential. What I've learned in an industry where you're told "No," 99% of the time is failure isn't a testament to your character, self-worth, or even talent. It's just feedback; a way to assess where you are and where you need to be.

The Worst they Can Say is, "No." So who cares?

Learning to endure failure is critical. When you build that muscle you are honing an even more important one: resiliency. The capacity to bounce back from setback after setback after setback is integral part of any meaningful endeavor. But far more importantly, when you reframe failure as deferred success you begin to take setbacks in stride and use them as building blocks to greater character.

My first screenplays were so bad my friends didn't even know where to begin with their feedback. My first attempt at getting a literary agent was met by well over 100 rejections. And my short films were passed on by so many festivals I lost count. But I didn't stop. I kept writing blogs, articles, screenplays, one-man shows, and even a book. And in time as I developed my voice my confidence grew convincing me I had something of value to offer. 

If there's anything I learned as an actor and a casting reader it's that the worst anyone can say is, "No." But once you hear a few, "No's" you learn to take it all in stride. It's a masterful craft if you think about it: 

Developing the mental mindset and stamina to not take the most personal form of rejection personally. 

If you can hone that skill there's nothing you won't try.

Clarity Comes from Action not Theory

There's a great line in Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist that goes “There is only one way to learn. It’s through action.”

It's easy to read all the personal development books, attend the right seminars, and listen to podcasts recommended by colleagues but none of it means a thing if what we learn sits idle. I've learned that knowledge is not power. It is potential power. We learn through doing, not thinking. 

The trouble is often two-fold. Either we're afraid of failure or we don't know where to begin. Sometimes it's both. Again, both are byproducts of over-thinking rather than doing. In time we become over-motivated underachievers. 

I'm not suggesting one be cavalier in their endeavors or be passive about where you invest your time. I'm saying we should stop waiting for permission. 

The truth is nobody ever knows where to start. There is no blueprint for success, or single trajectory for entrepreneurship. Those who succeed stumble, even tumble, but with fortitude a sense of clarity is often revealed. Even then, it's still hazy. We just keep moving.

As far as tackling fear goes you must ask yourself what is the worst that could happen. An endeavor doesn't unfold the way you thought it would? So what? Has anything in your life ever gone according to plan? Probably not. So what's the difference?

Fail fast. Learn fast. Adjust. Rinse. Repeat.

Speed Up Your Recovery Time

The single greatest gift being an actor has given me is teaching me to have absolutely zero fear of failure. I wish everyone could be in the entertainment industry for this reason alone. Unfortunately, I still see far too many people crippled by the thought of failure to even begin. 

Strange as it may sound, getting good at failure, or rather accepting failure, is like any endeavor. The more you practice the better you get at it. In time, you'll learn to appreciate that failure is an integral part of success and both need one another in order to exist. 

So how do you get better at accepting failure? Simple. Constantly put yourself out there. Whether you want to ask someone out, submit a film to a festival, or audition for a play you don't seem "right" for it takes a sustained effort.

Once you hear the word, "no" enough times something remarkable slowly takes shape. You stop taking it personally. Instead, you take failure in stride, and most importantly, move on to the next best thing. 

With enough practice the time between each setback and moving forward speeds up, you take less time to dust yourself off, return from your hibernation, and just keep moving. 

So fail fast. Fail often. And get back up quicker and quicker each time. 

Mistakes are Encouraged

One bit of training that was really hit home to all the teachers in my summer program was that mistakes are a beautiful thing. "Teach the kids that messing up is always welcome. It's the only way we learn. Encourage them." 

If only we could have all been taught how wonderful mistakes are at such a young age. Perhaps we'd all fear failure a great deal less.

Still, the greatest gift the acting industry gave me was learning to have no fear of not getting it right. Instead, I discovered the power of leaning into my fears and developed a “fail fast” mindset. In time, I learned to build up my recovery time and gradually became more and more resilient.

Remember, failures are an essential part of success. The two need each other. And the more you can learn to reframe setbacks into opportunities to solve bigger problems most people won’t dare take on the further ahead you'll be. 

You'll learn to become less daunted by setback and take satisfaction in starting and finishing something important to you, regardless of what other people think or say.

So fail fast. Fail often. 

Failure is Not the Problem - Our Reaction Is

You've heard me say, the greatest gift being an actor has given me is learning to have no fear of failure. Instead, developing the capacity to lean into what most frightens me. This is a skill that took years to cultivate, but will undoubtedly serve me the rest of my life.

What I discovered is that failure is a necessary part of success. Think about it, the two literally cannot exist without each other. What's most important about setbacks is how we frame them in our minds.

I believe failure is just deferred progress. Each time something does not go our way we're instantly given a set of choices, which is itself a gift. You can take a setback personally and allow it to thwart any future attempts towards your goals. Or, you can use it as a Masters Class to ask yourself a series of questions:

-- Why didn't this work?
-- What could I have done differently?
-- What did I learn from this experience?
-- What strategies do I need to implement so it doesn't happen again?
-- How can I pass on the lessons from this experience to others?

In time, you will condition your mind not to get worked up about failures. You'll learn to take failure less personally. And once you develop the skill of taking setbacks in stride and not allowing it to stop you your capacity for innovation and bold risks grows.

Create. Fail. Rinse and repeat. 

Go to the Fear

The greatest gift being an actor has given me is having no fear of failure. Learning to lean into my fears. I don't equate my self-worth or the quality of my work with what others think. It doesn't mean I'm not open to constructive feedback, but that I value and believe in the work I put out into the world. My belief is, if someone doesn't care for my work it's not my problem.

I believe the most compelling work comes from the place we're afraid to go to. "Go to the fear," a friend recently told me after reading a first draft of my one-man show. "It's all there already. You're just dancing around what you really want to say."

What is it you really want to communicate through your work? And why are you afraid to do so? Usually, our fears are not substantiated and we fail to recognize that vulnerability is an act of courage, not weakness. And that is where true artistry resides -in taking bold risks.

IBD's 10 Secrets to Success

Investor Business Daily has spent years analyzing leaders and successful people in all walks of life. Most have 10 traits that, when combined, can turn dreams into reality. 

1. HOW YOU THINK IS EVERYTHING. Always be positive. Think success, not failure. Beware of a negative environment.

2. DECIDE UPON YOUR TRUE DREAMS AND GOALS: Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them.

3. TAKE ACTION: Goals are nothing without action. Don't be afraid to get started. Just do it.

4. NEVER STOP LEARNING: Go back to school or read books. Get training and acquire skills.

5. BE PERSISTENT AND WORK HARD: Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up.

6. LEARN TO ANALYZE DETAILS: Get all the facts, all the input. Learn from your mistakes.

7. FOCUS YOUR TIME AND MONEY: Don't let other people or things distract you.

8. DON'T BE AFRAID TO INNOVATE; BE DIFFERENT: Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity. 

9. DEAL AND COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE EFFECTIVELY: No person is an island. Learn to understand and motivate others.

10. BE HONEST AND DEPENDABLE; TAKE RESPONSIBILITY: Otherwise number 1-9 won't matter.

Resilience is a Muscle

Winston Churchill one said,  "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. To the Ancient Greeks, enthusiasm meant "divine inspiration," or "to be filled with god."

But in order for enthusiasm to thrive, one must first cultivate a sense of resilience because inevitably your passion will be tested.

Resilience, like any muscle, must be trained. In order for it to grow that guidance must be consistent. 

In my experience, it helps to keep in mind that there will be ups and downs in your artistic career. But what is most important is maintaining a sense of poise and belief in what you do through such storms.

In time, this belief will translate to an incessant drive within, one you may not have even known you possessed; an inherent belief in yourself and mission will have been refined over time because you'll have trained your body and spirit to know no other way.

There's Great Value in Failure

There's a terrific TED Talk floating around out there by a gentlemen named, Jia Jiang. It's titled, "What I learned from 100 days of rejection."

http://www.ted.com/talks/jia_jiang_what_i_learned_from_100_days_of_rejection

Not only is it funny and insightful but I found it incredibly relevant to the lives of actors and artists.

Jiang explains that as a young man he was absolutely petrified of rejection but his desire to follow in the footsteps of his childhood idol Bill Gates influenced him to overcome his fear. 

As a result, for 100 days he decided to ask people for seemingly outrageous requests, literally turning to run the first time he was told, "No."

In time, he discovered standing your ground and literally facing your fears revealed that not getting what we ask for is not nearly as bad as we make it out to be in our minds.

He also realized that most of the time people's refusal to comply to his requests seldom had anything  to do with him. In other words, it was almost never personal. In fact, on occasion he managed to reshape and influence people's way of thinking through the nature and depth of his demand. A few times he even got what he asked for.

Failure is just feedback. Nothing more.

Get Comfortable With "No"

Remember, failure is ONLY feedback. Get cozy with hearing, "No" because ultimately...

Our screening committee enjoyed the opportunity to view your film and gave it careful consideration. We regret to inform you that we will not be including your film in the 2016 Boston Film Festival. 

Dear Nicholas, 

Thank you for submitting your project to the 2016 San Jose International Short Film Festival. Unfortunately, we are not able to include it in our program this year. 

Dear Nicholas Maccarone, This is a difficult letter to send, and probably even harder to receive. You're receiving it because you submitted Communication to the Port Townsend Film Festival, and regretfully we will not be screening it this year.

Thank you for submitting your film for consideration for this year’s Toronto International Film Festival. Unfortunately we were unable to find a place for your film in this year's Short Cuts programme.

Dear Nicholas Maccarone, 

Thank you for sending us the screener of Communication for consideration. 2016 was another terrific year with around 700 International Shorts submissions, of which 32 were accepted. We had more high quality shorts submitted this year than ever, and regrettably with a limited number of spaces available there were only so many we could fit in. There were a lot of difficult decisions, an unfortunately, we were unable to find room for everything. I sincerely apologize for any disappointment this may cause you. 

Dear Nicholas Maccarone: 

Thank you for your interest in the Margret McBride Literary Agency. 

We have reviewed the information regarding your project, and after careful consideration, we do not feel our agency is the right home for your project. 

Dear Nick,

Thank you for querying me about your manuscript, TO THE PROSPECTIVE ARTIST. I've read your sample pages and I'm sorry to say that the project just isn't a perfect fit with my current needs.

Thank you for sending me a query letter describing your work. After careful evaluation, I have decided that I am not the right agent to represent your work. I can only properly represent materials that greatly excite or interest me. 

Dear Nicholas,

Thank you for your query and interest in representation by Martin Literary Management. I regret that MLM is unable to take you on as a client at this time. 

...we will have to decline your kind offer to publish your book on acting.

Again, many thanks for your interest in Timber Press. We wish you the best of luck in finding a suitable publisher for your book!

All you need is one, "Yes." Go forth. Undaunted.