Curate Your Social Circle

I once had a friend who could convince me the world was going to pieces just by the way he said hello. Each time I tried to get him to look at life in a more positive light he'd say, "I'm just being realistic." What bummed me out most about his take on the world was I saw extraordinary potential in him to do great things.

The truth is, some of the people closest to us will only see the downside of up or have an axe to grind. And it's just not realistic to cut them out of our lives completely. But what we can do is level up the number of positive, ambitious, and inspiring people we spend most of our time with. 

In Brendon Burchard's new book, High Performance Habits he discusses the benefits of surrounding yourself with a community of like-minded people who support your vision, have your back, and will encourage you to hold yourself accountable to making something happen. It turns out there's actual data that supports the notion our lives will eventually reflect the people we spend the most time with.

The people around you affect how much you sleep, the food that you eat, and how much money you spend or save. This dynamic, which has been dubbed "social contagion," has been show to have both detriments and benefits.

On the negative front, researchers have found that bad behaviors and outcomes such as smoking, obesity, loneliness, depression, divorce, and drug use tend to grow in social clusters. If your friends smoke, you probably will, too. The more of your friends who are overweight or divorced, the higher the odds you'll get there, too.

Likewise, positive things such as happiness and prosocial behavior also seem to spread within social groups. For example, if you have a friend who is happy in life, your chances of feeling happy go up by 25 percent. 

It's important we choose our brain trust wisely and actively look for people who make us better. The key is to believe you can get better with the right effort and community behind you. 

Mistakes are Encouraged

One bit of training that was really hit home to all the teachers in my summer program was that mistakes are a beautiful thing. "Teach the kids that messing up is always welcome. It's the only way we learn. Encourage them." 

If only we could have all been taught how wonderful mistakes are at such a young age. Perhaps we'd all fear failure a great deal less.

Still, the greatest gift the acting industry gave me was learning to have no fear of not getting it right. Instead, I discovered the power of leaning into my fears and developed a “fail fast” mindset. In time, I learned to build up my recovery time and gradually became more and more resilient.

Remember, failures are an essential part of success. The two need each other. And the more you can learn to reframe setbacks into opportunities to solve bigger problems most people won’t dare take on the further ahead you'll be. 

You'll learn to become less daunted by setback and take satisfaction in starting and finishing something important to you, regardless of what other people think or say.

So fail fast. Fail often. 

Check Your Team

No meaningful endeavor is achieved alone. "It takes a village," they say. But what if your village is not filled with like-minded and supportive people? 

The way I see it, you're only option is to get around the right people. The right people can make you feel as though anything is possible. They act as a sounding board when things are going according to plan, they'll listen without judgement, encourage you to raise your standards, but most importantly they'll hold you accountable to achieving the things you say you will.

The wrong people can start to become a real drag and project their own insecurities on to you. If you're not careful you'll let that toxicity get to you and even start to share their doubts.

Find your All-Star squad and don't look back.