Taking Initiative Emboldens Other to Do the Same

Several years back a close friend of mine decided to start a web series. She had no experience directing, writing, or producing but felt compelled to tell her story. Admittedly, I was a little skeptical at first. I didn't share her vision for the project but after a few months I was a believer.

I marveled at how she figured out how to book space for reasonable rates, surround herself with like-minded artists who believed in her project, and consistently create great content. Within the span of several weeks she'd become a three dimensional storyteller. She suddenly knew a little about a lot and wasn't at the mercy of anyone to get her voice out into the world.

Her example inspired me to do the same. In just 3 months I too wrote, produced, and acted in three short films of my own. In the summer of 2018 I hope to make my first feature. 

Taking bold action to make a dream a reality can be contagious. It emboldens others to do the same. And though the goal is not to emulate the exact trajectory of others, we can help awaken the potential in someone, or even ourselves when we've yet to realize how remarkable we can be. 

Curate Your Social Circle

I once had a friend who could convince me the world was going to pieces just by the way he said hello. Each time I tried to get him to look at life in a more positive light he'd say, "I'm just being realistic." What bummed me out most about his take on the world was I saw extraordinary potential in him to do great things.

The truth is, some of the people closest to us will only see the downside of up or have an axe to grind. And it's just not realistic to cut them out of our lives completely. But what we can do is level up the number of positive, ambitious, and inspiring people we spend most of our time with. 

In Brendon Burchard's new book, High Performance Habits he discusses the benefits of surrounding yourself with a community of like-minded people who support your vision, have your back, and will encourage you to hold yourself accountable to making something happen. It turns out there's actual data that supports the notion our lives will eventually reflect the people we spend the most time with.

The people around you affect how much you sleep, the food that you eat, and how much money you spend or save. This dynamic, which has been dubbed "social contagion," has been show to have both detriments and benefits.

On the negative front, researchers have found that bad behaviors and outcomes such as smoking, obesity, loneliness, depression, divorce, and drug use tend to grow in social clusters. If your friends smoke, you probably will, too. The more of your friends who are overweight or divorced, the higher the odds you'll get there, too.

Likewise, positive things such as happiness and prosocial behavior also seem to spread within social groups. For example, if you have a friend who is happy in life, your chances of feeling happy go up by 25 percent. 

It's important we choose our brain trust wisely and actively look for people who make us better. The key is to believe you can get better with the right effort and community behind you. 

Get Around Better

One of the best ways to improve at a craft is to get around someone who does it better. If you want to become a strong creative writer read the works of exceptional authors. 

If you want to improve your public speaking, study Martin Luther King, John and Bobby Kennedy, and Joel Osteen. 

Maybe you want to improve your relationship with your partner, look to someone who has a thriving relationship.

It's not about emulating someone else but allowing their energy to infuse you with a sense of confidence and belief that you too can make great strides if you put in the work like they did. (I assure you they did.)

Even better, the more you surround yourself with like-minded people who excel at something you want to do you'll gradually begin to cut yourself off from the toxic people and environments that don't support your vision.  

Get around better.

The Power of Values

I look back with fondness on those times I performed in cramped, poorly lit black box theaters in the East Village. The audiences sat practically on top of one another as they huddled together to watch original works by some of New York's most promising playwrights.

I also recall rehearsing scenes from, A Doll's House during drama school. My classmates and I sat in narrow hallways after being kicked out of rehearsal spaces others had wisely signed up for in advance.

As much as I look back on those times with a sense of gratitude and nostalgia, I wouldn't do it over again. My goals have changed and my perspective has evolved. In other words, what I value as an actor and individual is no longer the same. I have grown.

Many of us often have a difficult time saying, "No." We take on too many projects earnestly believing we can do it all, while secretly wanting to please others.

I've learned that saying "no" to something means you are invariably saying "yes" to something else. It may be a rewarding opportunity now, or many years down the road. 

If there's something you feel obligated to do, but feel a voice tugging at you to pass it's likely that your values are not aligned with the opportunity. If your values are important enough to you protect them at all costs and align them with your vision.

By All Means, Carry On

You will come across challenges at virtually every stage of creation:

- writer's block
- criticism from trusted colleagues or friends on your work
- getting someone to read your work in the first place
- raising the funds to see your film, play, or production come to life
- distribution
- finding a like-minded group of artists who share and believe in your vision

Because it is all so difficult, it is imperative you feel the work is personally meaningful and that by sharing it, you can make an impact in some small way.

Allow a deeply personal sense of purpose to be your compass. Remind yourself why you wanted to create in the first place.

Both will prove as helpful resources to draw from during those moments of adversity and doubt.

But by all means, carry on.

Embolden Your "Why"

For as much effort as I put into each important endeavor, the truth remains, I work hardest on myself. And so it still confounds me that I don't get more things done.

Perhaps this is a hang-up many of you can relate to. There just never seems to be enough hours in a day, or you're secretly haunted by the knowing there's simply a better way. You just haven't figured it out yet.

But how many of us work steadily towards a goal, sometimes for years on end, without occasionally taking inventory of its importance? Does it still matter? Is it a long-term goal or simply a means to one? And more importantly, do I have a philosophy on life? What is it exactly these goals that I value so much are helping me do? Be? Get out of life?

As of late, these are questions I haven't asked myself nearly enough. I'll plop down in a chair and begin typing away without a second thought as to why. I know they're important, or were at one point, but fail to dig deeper asking, "What is the long-term objective here?"

As a result, it's easy to lose sight of the broader vision. In fact, for some, it's impossible to lose because you never had it to begin with.

Stay focused on your dreams. Work hard. Go forth undaunted.

Just check in with yourself from time to time and embolden your, "Why." It may make all the difference.