3 Reasons Why It's Never Too Late to Begin Meaningful Work

Today our culture has a very complicated relationship with time. There never seems to be enough of it. Additionally, we've almost arbitrarily decided that our goals must be attained by a certain timeline. When we fail to make the Forbes 30 Under 30 List we abandon them completely. But living a more responsible life doesn't mean living a small life. Here are 3 reasons why it's never too late to start work that matters:

1. Understanding that you have less time. Less time to strive means less time for frivolous work. If something isn't helping your grow, forge meaningful relationships, or personally fulfilling it's a good time to part ways.

2. Patience. "Hurry up and wait," was an expression I heard thrown around when I was a young actor. Young people often want something so bad they're willing to sidestep the journey. But as you get older in life you start to appreciate the value of the "long-game," and the importance of staying ready. Nothing worth attaining happens quickly. Getting older awakens you to that reality and even helps you appreciate it.

3. A smarter kind of hustle. Today there is undoubtedly a culture of "no days off" being heavily promoted. But working hard means nothing if you don't work smart. And working smart means taking time for self-care and realizing there are more important things in life than professional achievements. Becoming more is ultimately more important that achieving more. 

Lessons from My Mom and Dad

In a few weeks one of my closest friends ties the knot. A few months back he asked me in a quiet coffee shop if I'd be his Best Man. "Of course," I told him. "I'd be honored."

Since that rainy morning, I've spent the last few months drafting a speech for his wedding night. It might sound a little extreme to take such measures to prep a 5 minute speech several months in advance, but I want to make sure I include all the wonderful qualities that make my friend such a good guy.

I've spent a great deal reflecting about our friendship and the man he's become. To watch someone you care about grow into a person of integrity, kindness, and respect is perhaps one of the most fulfilling joys of life. (he was once banned from a Mormon basketball league for cursing)

I've also thought about relationships and how much I admire his partnership with his soon to be wife. It reminds me in some ways of the relationship between my own parents. And if they can somehow emulate some of the patterns that have made their relationship so successful I'm convinced they'll do just fine. After all, I believe my mom and dad's marriage is the greatest love story ever told. 

Many years ago after I'd broken up with a girl I loved deeply but just wasn't mature enough to commit to fully I met up with my dad for dinner. He was in New York for business as he often was and asked if we could grab a bite to eat before he left the following day. We always met on Theater Row over on 46th Street. My dad loved the simple, no frills Italian restaurants that lined the street. He was also a big fan of the pre-fixed meal you could get for $25. (at least 10 years ago)

As we sat at our table on a rather slow night I told him my 3-year relationship had just ended. He paused before saying, "You know, as you get older in life, things like intimacy and appearance become less important. What matters is the friendship you have with someone. And your mother has always been my best friend," he told me. 

After nearly 40 years of marriage my parents are still together and happily so. But to be fair, they have never denied their partnership has required immensely hard work, sacrifice, and overcoming challenges. Still, as far as I can tell what makes their relationship work so well is mastering the simple things:

-- They laugh together. A LOT.
-- They still hold hands.
-- They listen to one another.
-- They agree to disagree.
-- They sit in silence with one another
-- They go for walks together.
-- They give each other space and allow each to do their own thing.
-- They travel together.
-- They communicate.
-- They have perspective.
-- They're honest with themselves and as a result with each other.
-- They don't hide anything.
-- They recognize that life is short and there's not time to waste.

Watching them has been a Masters Class not only in how to make a relationship thrive but how to treat another human being. 

Lessons from My Kid Brother

The age difference between my youngest brother and I is nearly 14 years. He is the self-proclaimed, "family blessing." And though the gap in years meant I missed much of his childhood while away at college and grad school, I have a lot of fond memories of his youth of youths. 

The other day I phoned him to ask how everything was going. "Hey bro, just got a new surf board!" he told me. Just a few weeks before I came home to visit my family only to find he'd made my father's office into a makeshift "studio." My parents were of course out of town.

It's said that happiness has two peaks. People are filled with the most joy during their 20s and 10 years after retirement. I'm not entirely clear on what the correlation between the two phases of our lives are, but I'm gathering it has to do with a more effortless type of optimism. 

I've taken away some profound lessons from the "little guy," who now towers above me. The most important being his enthusiasm and resilience. He beams when discussing the future, a new relationship, a concert, a film he saw, or all the places he hopes to someday see. 

And like the rest of us, he's prone to getting bummed out from time to time, but when he's down he isn't there for long. He bounces back with an enviable buoyancy that seems to say, "My time is limited, I'm not going to waste it brooding."

I wonder how and why we lose that sensibility and whether it's possible to keep a small piece of that. Maybe it means hanging around younger people. Perhaps it just means cultivating a younger person spirit. Whatever the answer, I think it's important to appreciate we can learn a lot from people who haven't lived as long, or experienced the same setbacks. 

At the very least, they may remind you of how you once embraced possibility, felt unbridled enthusiasm, and remind you of the importance of courting life like a partner -- there may be fireworks at first but gradually the relationship evolves over time. 

But if you work at it each day love will remain as the foundation.

Cutting Toxic People from Your Life Even When You Care About Them

Confidence is a result of growing comfortable in your own skin. It's a process cultivated over time through experience and getting clear on your core values. And it's likely if you're happy with who you are and have a strong sense of your principles, you've learned to surround yourself with forward-thinking people - individuals who support your vision, have your back, hold you accountable to taking action, and try to maintain a positive outlook.

Unfortunately, cutting toxic people from your life can be quite complicated. Sometimes it's the people closest to us who always seem to have an axe to grind, or have something negative to say.

You may have spent so much time with these people over the years you don't even realize how you morph into someone else in their presence, taking on their cancerous energy. Without knowing it, you start to talk about people behind their back and refuse to see the potential in others. 

Let me tell you, once you take a step back and really take inventory of the toxic residue that's seeped into your psyche, you will be much more vigilant with your mind and time.

Even when it's difficult we have to work overtime to protect our relationship to our goals, ambitions, and sense of service. Spending time with those who fail to see the good in the world threaten your potential.

Get the memo out that you won't tolerate toxic people and their energy no matter who it is. Your future depends on it. 

Get Around Better

One of the best ways to improve at a craft is to get around someone who does it better. If you want to become a strong creative writer read the works of exceptional authors. 

If you want to improve your public speaking, study Martin Luther King, John and Bobby Kennedy, and Joel Osteen. 

Maybe you want to improve your relationship with your partner, look to someone who has a thriving relationship.

It's not about emulating someone else but allowing their energy to infuse you with a sense of confidence and belief that you too can make great strides if you put in the work like they did. (I assure you they did.)

Even better, the more you surround yourself with like-minded people who excel at something you want to do you'll gradually begin to cut yourself off from the toxic people and environments that don't support your vision.  

Get around better.

Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day

Ross beamed as he sat across from me explaining how his relationship with his girlfriend of two years had made all the difference in navigating the challenging path of an actor. "It's great to have someone to come home to and talk to. She listens and is so supportive of what I'm going through."

I can't tell you the number of actors I've met over the years who were convinced being in a committed relationship would sabotage their dreams of becoming a working actor. "I'm too ambitious," I heard one friend say. "It'd be too hard to balance," another argued.

The truth is, the closer I look, the more I'm convinced that being in a loving and supportive relationship is an advantage...a significant one.

Having a support group at home where you can productively air your setbacks, celebrate your victories, and even work together to strategize how you can be at your best is a game-changer. Even my friends who once believed otherwise are finally starting to come around.

The trick is to find that right person of course, but once you do you'll be amazed at who you become and what you can accomplish together.