A Story About Aligning Your Words with Your Actions

Supposedly, a young boy in a small Indian village once became obsessed with eating sugar. He simply couldn't get enough of it.

Naturally, this worried his mother who tried everything and anything under the sun to get him to break the habit. After weeks of pleading, punishing, and praying she finally gave in, convinced there was no resolution to his sugar addiction.

She then remembered how much her son admired the Indian activist and leader of the independence movement, Mahatma Gandhi. She decided on a whim to take her son to see him, hoping his influence could finally put an end to all this talk of sugar.

The two walked for miles under a merciless sun before finally reaching Gandhi's ashram. After waiting in line for hours she explained how she'd traveled for days in an effort to save her son.

"Gandhi, my son consumes almost nothing but sugar. I beg of you, please tell him it's no good for his health."

Gandhi listened to the mother patiently before refusing to offer the boy any advice.

"Come back in two weeks," was all he said.

The mother left with her child completely confounded, trying desperately to grasp why the venerable leader didn't just tell her son then and there to stop eating sugar.

Two weeks later the wearied mother returned with her boy. Once again, the two stood for hours under a scorching son before finally being admitted to see Gandhi.

This time the civil rights leader got straight to the point. He looked the young boy in the eyes and said, "Listen to your mother and stop eating sugar. It's not good for your health."

The boy nodded and promised he'd put an end to eating sweets. His mother looked on in a rage, considering the epic journey and sacrifice it took just to hear Gandhi utter the same words he could have shared weeks before.

"Why on earth didn't you just tell him that two weeks ago?!" she demanded.

Gandhi smiled before saying, "Because two weeks ago, I too was eating too much sugar."

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You Get What You Tolerate

The opportunities you get in your life will organize around the standards you set for yourself. This took me a little time to figure out.

One area in my life where I needed a little fine tuning was as an actor. When I graduated from drama school I was chomping at the bit to take Broadway by storm. I was so earnest in my desire to grace the stages of the Barrymore and Schubert theaters I overlooked what I was willing to tolerate in order to get there.

In time, my relationship to the industry evolved. I started to place greater emphasis on living a well-rounded life than finding the perfect agent. To me this also meant traveling, volunteering, reading widely, taking bold risks, and honoring my core values.

By the time I arrived in Los Angeles I was quite comfortable in my own skin. I took things less personally and realized there was more to life than getting the perfect headshot. Though it was still my goal to be a professional storyteller, I realized you can want something without needing it. This all led to a healthy outlook on the types of roles I was willing to audition for and what I wasn't willing to compromise on en route to a dream I'd had since I was 11 years old. So when my new agent in Tinsel Town asked me in a rather lengthy questionnaire what I was not willing to do for a role, here's what I said:

I won’t compromise my personal ethics, morals, or core principles. I also will not perpetuate what I perceive to be ethnic stereotypes, or undermine my ethnic heritage.  (i.e. the butt of a one-liner Asian joke in a sitcom, etc.) Also happy to elaborate if there any questions.  Fortunately, it’s never really been an issue.  I really appreciate you asking!

Figure out what you stand for and protect it all costs. You get what you tolerate. 

Power of the V-Formation

The next time you take a peek at an autumn sky you may catch the sight of a flock of geese flying in a V-formation. They fly together to cut down on wind resistance, sometimes by as much as 70 %. As a result, they reach their destination quicker and with less exertion.

When we work in harmony with others who share our values and core principles we reach our target together while lifting one another up, and having a lot more fun along the way.

We don’t have to bulldoze our way to our dreams. What’s more, we don’t have to do it alone.  

Cutting Toxic People from Your Life Even When You Care About Them

Confidence is a result of growing comfortable in your own skin. It's a process cultivated over time through experience and getting clear on your core values. And it's likely if you're happy with who you are and have a strong sense of your principles, you've learned to surround yourself with forward-thinking people - individuals who support your vision, have your back, hold you accountable to taking action, and try to maintain a positive outlook.

Unfortunately, cutting toxic people from your life can be quite complicated. Sometimes it's the people closest to us who always seem to have an axe to grind, or have something negative to say.

You may have spent so much time with these people over the years you don't even realize how you morph into someone else in their presence, taking on their cancerous energy. Without knowing it, you start to talk about people behind their back and refuse to see the potential in others. 

Let me tell you, once you take a step back and really take inventory of the toxic residue that's seeped into your psyche, you will be much more vigilant with your mind and time.

Even when it's difficult we have to work overtime to protect our relationship to our goals, ambitions, and sense of service. Spending time with those who fail to see the good in the world threaten your potential.

Get the memo out that you won't tolerate toxic people and their energy no matter who it is. Your future depends on it. 

Your Environment

It's amazing how quickly I find myself taking on the energy of the environment I'm in. When I'm in California around family and friends I find myself embracing moments of silence, solitude, and generally exercise more patience.

But when I touch back in New York after several weeks, or months away I notice my pace instantly quickens and my to-do list expands.

Neither are necessarily good or bad. But what I've noticed is that if you're not careful you can also take on the energy of toxic people and their environments. 

How often have you found yourself suddenly gossiping because a friend, or family member takes delight in doing so and you don't want to rock the boat? Or maybe, you become less health conscience, or start to take on behaviors not congruent to your own core values?

The trick is to know your principles so well and be so in tune with your goals and philosophy that no city, state, country, or planet will be able to shake who you are and what value you hope to offer others. 

You'll be able to adapt to your environment, while standing your ground.

Just a reminder: To the Prospective Artist: Lessons from An Unknown Actor has been published! Be the first to pick up the insights and tips gained from a 12-year journey as an actor, writer, filmmaker, community outreach volunteer, and traveler. 

Book now available at Barnes & Noble or Amazon bookstores for just $7.99. You can also pick it up at: www.nickmaccarone.com where I'd also like to give you some free "goodies" as a token of my appreciation. 

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