Go See for Yourself

"When you go to Costa Rica you'll notice that it's all about money there. They're not willing to just help you out."

"I found the people in Nicaragua not very warm. There's a hardness to them."

"You just came from Edinburgh?! We actually help people here in Glasgow. Nobody'll lend you a hand over there."

These were comments people once made to me about Costa Rica, Nicaragua, and Edinburgh, Scotland. But after visiting each place I can comfortably say I found none of these proclamations to be true.

I still marvel at how we'll cast some broad and often inaccurate narrative about a community based on our limited experience there. 

Whenever I'd tell people from out of state I was from Oakland, California I'd get an incredulous glance. Invariably, the follow-up was, "Oh, I hear it's dangerous there." And every time I'd think, Come on out and see for yourself. It's a remarkable place with remarkable people doing remarkable things.

The truth is, when we don't take the time to see for ourselves our thinking gets lazy. Our ability to make judgments for ourselves atrophies and we stop bothering to even question what's being said. This is EXTRAORDINARILY dangerous because it leads to division, negative perceptions about people we know little to nothing about, and stifles our ability to thrive as a community.

Don't just take someone else's words for it. 

GO. SEE. FOR. YOURSELF.

You're Closer than You Think -- Lessons from Long Distance Swimmer Florence Chadwick

In 1952, a woman named Florence Chadwick decided to attempt to swim the 26 miles between the California coastline and Catalina Island.

During her swim to Catalina she traveled with a team who kept an out for sharks and were ready to assist in the event of cramps, injury, or fatigue. About 15 hours into her swim a thick fog began to set in, which clouded not only her vision but sense of confidence. Chadwick's mother happened to be in one of the boats at the time and listened as her daughter told her she didn't believe she could make it. She went on for another hour before deciding to quit. As she sat in the teetering boat she discovered if she'd just swam another mile she would have reached the island.

Many people quit a dream right on the brink of its realization. It's often when the most challenges set in that we're actually getting closer. If we learn to not let a little fog discourage our confidence and fortitude we'll find that it fades creating that clarity to move forward. 

But what's important to remember is the fog never permanently stays away. It comes and goes just as doubts do. The key is to recognize the value of forging along anyway -- to bring your own weather when it comes to pursuing meaningful endeavors. Keeping your poise is an essential skill and will enable you to navigate through moments of uncertainty. 

Two months after Chadwick's failed attempt she tried the swim once more. Again, a thick fog set in. But this time she had a mental image of the shoreline in her mind as she pushed herself along. Not only did she succeed the second time, but she ended up making the same swim two other times.

Chadwick was also the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions, doing so in record times.

You DO Have Enough Time

Yesterday, I was on a six-hour flight from New York to California. I caught up on some work, read a great deal, listened to a podcast, and got some rest. A few passengers around me decided to partake in the limitless forms of entertainment now available on any major carrier.

I want to make it clear I'm not placing judgment, but the woman in the row ahead of me watched not one, but three films in a row. Now, I love films more than anyone I know but knew I had work that just had to get done. And in fairness, maybe she'd already crossed off all her "to-do's" for the day. (I've certainly bing watched House of Cards on a cold February day.)

But I couldn't help but think about all the times I've heard people say, "I don't have any time," as an excuse for not getting projects they seemingly value completed. The truth is we do have time but often don't think broadly enough when it comes to utilizing chunks of time that seem out of bounds.

There's time to listen to a podcast while in traffic, or exercising. There's time to read an informative book while taking public transportation. We can skip a few nights of watching Netflix to start the first draft of that book, or play. 

When we say we don't have time what we're actually saying is "It's not a priority." I encourage you to think outside the box and find ways to chip away at a project of personal value by being more deliberate about your time. 

Remember, we all get the same amount of hours in a day but what we do with them is completely up to us.

Focus as If You're Only in Town for a Week

Whenever I come back to New York I make an effort to see as many close friends as possible.

There's usually a great deal to do when I arrive but it's also important to see the people I care about, so I make a very focused effort to schedule my priorities and make the rounds.

Nine out of ten times I end up seeing all the people I want to, while attending to what needs to get done because I make them "musts." I'd even argue that my level of productivity is heightened because the stakes feel higher and there's less time.

What if we all focused on our goals with the same intensity as one might if they were only in town for a week? Cut out the distractions, only attended to what was absolutely essential, and prioritized your non-negotiables? 

It'd be a good week. 

Your Environment

It's amazing how quickly I find myself taking on the energy of the environment I'm in. When I'm in California around family and friends I find myself embracing moments of silence, solitude, and generally exercise more patience.

But when I touch back in New York after several weeks, or months away I notice my pace instantly quickens and my to-do list expands.

Neither are necessarily good or bad. But what I've noticed is that if you're not careful you can also take on the energy of toxic people and their environments. 

How often have you found yourself suddenly gossiping because a friend, or family member takes delight in doing so and you don't want to rock the boat? Or maybe, you become less health conscience, or start to take on behaviors not congruent to your own core values?

The trick is to know your principles so well and be so in tune with your goals and philosophy that no city, state, country, or planet will be able to shake who you are and what value you hope to offer others. 

You'll be able to adapt to your environment, while standing your ground.

Just a reminder: To the Prospective Artist: Lessons from An Unknown Actor has been published! Be the first to pick up the insights and tips gained from a 12-year journey as an actor, writer, filmmaker, community outreach volunteer, and traveler. 

Book now available at Barnes & Noble or Amazon bookstores for just $7.99. You can also pick it up at: www.nickmaccarone.com where I'd also like to give you some free "goodies" as a token of my appreciation. 

Be sure to get your copy today.

Connect

"Really ask!" I can still hear Kristin shouting. One of my most influential mentors at grad school was Kristin Linklater, esteemed vocal coach, actor, teacher, and director. Anytime she caught an ounce of artifice in our performances she'd immediately call us out on it. Merely saying words on a page weren't enough. We had to connect.

What's interesting is her lessons in the classroom transcended the stage. She wanted us to engage with the world outside as well; to speak up when there was wrong, to live boldly, and to take an interest in current events and how we might shape them. She also wanted us to heighten our ability to listen and ask meaningful questions.

The other night while hanging out with a good friend, we began talking about our family histories. I asked him how long his family had lived in California. He beamed as he recounted stories of great-uncles, grandparents, and distant cousins. He explained how they settled in Sacramento and eventually made their way to the Bay Area. I got the sense that nobody had asked him anything in a long time. 

If you get a chance today, strike up a conversation with someone. Take an interest in what they have to say by connecting and REALLY asking.