Wednesday, February 28, 2018

The Best Way to Figure Out You're Not Perfect...


The best way to find out you’re not perfect is to try something. Anything in fact. 

The ONLY way to keep up the deception of perfectionism is to not try at all, in which event you’ve already lost.

There's greater value in trying and failing than not pursuing at all.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Praise for the book, "Essentialism"

According to Eric Schmidt, the former CEO of Google, all the information ever created in human history up to the year 2003, is created every single day.

We are drowning in information but starving for wisdom. 

Living in times of unprecedented innovation and opportunity comes with the responsibility of making tough choices about what's truly worth our fleeting time.

Being "busy" is often mistaken for productive and used as an excuse for failing to question the actual utility of that busyness.

The fundamental question Greg McKeown's book, Essentialism tries to answer is, "How can we make the choices that allow us to tap into more of the potential inside ourselves, and in people everywhere?"
IF YOU DON'T PRIORITIZE YOUR LIFE, SOMEONE ELSE WILL.

This book will help you think in terms of trade-off rather than solutions to doing it all. McKeown's key argument is that we live in a world where almost everything is worthless and very few things are actually valuable.

Essentialism will teach you to think like an "Essentialist" who asks the questions, "What is the trade-off I want to make? What can I go big on?" instead of asking, "How can I do it all?"

Better answers require we first ask ourselves better questions.

This book is a game-changer, particularly for those who want to make an impact in the world but feel like they're making a millimeter of progress in a million different directions rather than significant progress in one or two.

Essentialism will offer you the insights to live a life by design instead of default. 


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Monday, February 26, 2018

Quiet is Good

This morning I left my apartment at about 5:30 am. There's a rare clarity that comes with leaving so early. It's almost as if you're in on some little secret about how the world really works. 

The nuances and subtleties of everyday living that are so easy to overlook while hailing a cab or scanning a touchscreen are practically in 3D. 

Life, however briefly, makes perfect sense.

I felt tempted to throw on my iPod and start blasting some inspirational tunes to wake me from my stupor but instead took a long stroll to work and did nothing but sit with my thoughts. 

I let them lead the way regardless of how nonsensical, non sequitur, or nonsignificant. 

For a moment I didn't give into the noise. I passed up the chance to prioritize the nonessential. And I chose to listen rather than busy myself.

As author Greg McKeown puts it:

"What if we stopped celebrating being busy as a measurement of importance? What if instead we celebrated how much time we had spent listening, pondering, meditating, and enjoying time with the most important people in our lives?"

Quiet is good. 

                                                                   -----


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Sunday, February 25, 2018

"I love Asian culture."

This morning I headed over to Sao Bento Station located in the heart of Porto. I've noticed regardless of what terminal you board from, whether Grand Central or Budapest-Keleti, a few things rarely alter. 

By this I mean the colorful characters that hang in and around the often striking vestibules with elaborate murals often dating to the turn of the century.

Then of course, there's that fleeting romanticism about train stations that make you feel as though you're bidding farewell to the love of your life in the midst of a world war. 

Braga Station was no exception.

The ride itself took an hour or so as I was whisked past sleepy towns with backyards filled with lines of weekend laundry. For half a second I felt as though I could put together the backstories of their lives as I sped past them.

Once in Braga I wandered the streets slowly as my mind raced ahead with thoughts neither productive, nor present. 

I decided to finally put an end to the feisty ruminations by stopping in my tracks and repeating the mantra, "This is the only moment that matters." 

For a second I believed myself and felt grounded, and grateful for the privilege of being in such a place to begin with.

Though the reliable staples of churches, cafes, and gelato on every corner remind you what continent you're on, the trick is to not be passive about the familiarity. You still must fight the notion that getting to explore the world is casual. 

One must, no matter how fleeting, take a moment to recognize what a gift it is to live among people who may see the world a bit differently.

Saturday in Braga brought with it a festive atmosphere as families and young couples walked hand-in-hand through markets, cobble-stoned streets, and buildings dating back to the 16th century casually hovering above modern day department stores. 

By 5:00 pm I was ready to make my way back to Porto. I'd seen what I came for, whatever that was. 

I decided to grab a cup of tea as I waited for my 5:34 train to arrive. In my periphery, I saw the young man behind the counter studying my face, a drill I'm all too well versed in at this point. The examination invariably precedes the question, "Where are you from?" which of course it did.

"My mom is from Korea and my father is Italian-American," I told him as he tried to wrap his head around something so bizarre. 

"I love Asian culture," he tells me making me marvel even more at how I often morph into a makeshift ambassador for an entire race of people.

Still, we talk. I realize it's actually been a while since I've done that with anyone. It's one of the delights and perils of traveling alone. And for whatever reason, in that moment, I needed to connect, to hear, to speak, which is to say, to feel. 

He could have read the phone book for all I cared. 

I just needed, however briefly, to be reminded I wasn't invisible. 

                                                                     -----

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Saturday, February 24, 2018

How I Rediscovered Sinatra in Bosnia

My bus arrived in Mostar at exactly 6:40 pm just as it was listed online. As I stepped off the caravan I instantly made out the sunglasses and familiar hairline I’d seen in the photo of my host, Jan.
A timely arrival and a punctual local who insisted on picking me up gave Mostar a comfortable leg up in the first impression contest. I soon discovered the former was somewhat of an anomaly.
“Your bus is on time,” he said. “That’s rare.”
Jan stood about 6’3 and moved with a confident stride. He struck me as the type of person who’d grown self-assured by things seen or accomplished, or perhaps a little of both. I gathered we were around the same age as we made our way to his black Mercedes.
We spoke about my journey before he dove into a very interesting and slightly rehearsed history of the town, referencing the Ottomans and Romans on several occasions.
After a short drive we arrived at the place where I’d hang my hat for the next 3 nights — a newly constructed complex that doubled as apartments and a hotel. His place was clean, simple, and conveniently situated.
We made small talk in the kitchen as he ran me through the building’s features and amenities of which there were many. In between he told me he worked in IT. He’d left a low-paying government position for a private sector gig, which appeared to be working out quite well.
He also told me he’d once visited Pittsburgh on a student exchange program many years ago.
“That’s a really random place to go,” I said.
He seemed underwhelmed by the whole experience as I half-tried to convince him to visit New York or San Francisco on his next trip to the States.
Just as I was getting ready to rest after a tiring day, Jan insisted I let him drive me to Old Town. He wanted to help me get my bearings and probably share another Mostar anecdote or two.
“Sure,” I said. “Just let me run to the bathroom real quick.”
We got back into his car and listened to the playlist he’d chosen for our short ride.
“You like Sinatra? I asked.
“Doesn’t everybody?” he said.
This guy’s alright, I thought.
We drove past bombed out buildings that were either pummeled or shot up during the conflict that began here in 1992.
The contrast between a shiny new shopping mall towering above the skeleton of a home where lives were likely lost was stark and unfamiliar to me.
“What was it like back then? If you don’t mind me asking,” I said.
“I don’t really like to talk about it,” he responded.

He then delved into more history, throwing around names like Milosevic, while explaining the role religion played in the Balkan conflict. He skillfully elaborated then demurred leaving me just enough to consider.
Soon he dropped me off in front of the Cathedral of Mary, Mother of the Church, pointing the way to Old Town.
I thanked him for his generosity mentally wording the stellar review I intended to give him. It wasn’t lost on me this was probably his intention but I must say he also seemed to genuinely like and maybe even need the company.
Now I was alone.
I began to saunter through the city of about 110,000. I set out for the Old Bridge built by the Ottomans in the 16th century and perhaps the most iconic structure in the Herzegovina region.
Mostar, I learned, is derived from, “Mostari,” who during medieval times guarded the Stari Most or Old Bridge.
It really was as beautiful as the pictures I’d seen.
Almost instantly, I found myself in the midst of a mob of tourists clamoring for selfies and family photos with the Nenetva River as the backdrop. Not one for crowds, I glided past the madness in search of some tranquil adventure.
The shops that lined the cobblestone streets could just as easily stood outside the pyramids in Cairo or the begrimed streets of Little Italy in New York. I made it through unscathed and soon found myself eating at a very pleasant little Italian restaurant Jan had recommended an hour or so before.
As I sat alone nibbling on some bread in between scribbling notes, I stared at the mountains in front of me. A familiar feeling washed over me. It was the same sentiment I’d felt eating alone in Siracusa, Sicily ten years earlier as I gazed at the Duomo di Siracusa.
In both instances everything seemed to slow down, offering a sense of fleeting clarity. For a moment the world made complete sense.
Life is simple, I thought.
                                                                -----
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Friday, February 23, 2018

Musings While Stuck in a Castle

Two summers ago marked the first time I’d ever been stuck in a castle. Well, sort of.
A rain started to fall in Ljubljana around 2:00 pm one afternoon and showed no signs of letting up. Still, no matter how long I waited it would still manage to be far less time than many before had spent behind these thick impenetrable walls.
Ljubljana Castle, or the “crown above the city,” as it’s also known, was built 5 centuries ago. Over time it received its fair share of renovations and makeovers that would have made it a very popular medieval reality show.
When World War I broke out, the castle was used as a penitentiary for political prisoners and criminals. There were prominent Slovenians kept behind these walls as well.
From mid-1915 it also turns out Italians counted for most of the prison’s POWS, many of which were allowed to participate in orchestras, theater groups, and painting studios thanks to Major Karl Knight of Dern.
Let’s call him the Slovenian P. Diddy.
As the years went on the castle grew indecisive, choosing one moment it wanted to be a prison and the next that penitentiaries were so not in style.
I gathered it was run by men by its trademark fear of commitment.
The first prisoners were brought in around 1815. They left, or were kicked out in 1849 when the space was converted into military barracks.
Then in 1868 when the army left it became a prison again until 1895 when an earthquake struck, damaging the building so bad it could no longer house inmates.
Finally, in 1914 they gave it the old college try, once again opening its doors for business.
Looking at the black and white photos of these men dating back to 1916, I couldn’t help but notice how young so many of them look. I wondered what they thought about, how they felt, what they’d done, where they came from, and if they had families.
But mostly, I was curious about who they were.
Here were hundreds of lost souls I would have known nothing about had I not schlepped up a steep hill an hour earlier.
How many other stories will I fail to know in my lifetime despite the most earnest of efforts?
It’s a daunting thought the castle and these men, now long gone, have given me to consider.
Thankfully the rain looked to be letting up and the sun showed signs of breaking through the headstrong clouds.
It’s probably time for me to get out of here, I thought.
                                                               -----
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Thursday, February 22, 2018

The Only Man in Nicaragua Wearing a Scarf

There are several dates forever etched in my mind. Chalk it up to a love of history or a bizarre fascination with numbers but there isn’t much I can do about remembering the day Pearl Harbor was attacked, the year the Titanic sank, or the fact Alexander the Great died in 323 B.C.
Perhaps more to the point, I’ll never forget Dominic, my childhood best friend’s birthday.
So this morning, as I do every day on this year, I wished him another happy year of living.
Last night after clearing customs at Managua Airport, I tapped my cab driver on the shoulder after seeing a sign with my name on it.
Growing up, there weren’t a whole lot of ways a long and funny Italian surname came in handy but the hell if I can’t pick it out from a crowd in Central America.
My driver was a young man flirting with 25 or so, sporting a Yankees hat and a bright white t-shirt.
We drove through the dark night down desolate roads where street lights were nearly obsolete. Adding to the dim backdrop were the first signs of rain and tinted windows.
Probably not as remote as it feels, I tried to convince myself.
My only entertainment were the familiar sounds of merengue I used to hear on hot summer nights when I’d mosey up to Washington Heights for a hearty Dominic plate.
Whenever the hustle and bustle of lower Manhattan got to be a hair too much I’d catch an uptown train and enter a vibrant, rhythmic, and colorful new world close enough to venture to, but far enough where most deemed the journey an inconvenience.
As we continued to march through the night, I could make out flashes of thunder off in the distance as I wondered if I remembered to pack my umbrella.
“Nick, do you speak Spanish?” my driver asks.
There was so much hope in his inquiry I felt not only embarrassed but as if I’d let down all of Nicaragua with my reluctant reply.
“No, I told him.
I could hear my father’s voice nearly dos decadas passed echoing in my years, “I don’t understand why you signed up for French. You live in California and want to move to New York.”

Looking back, the old man had a damn good point.
I tell him I speak a little Italian and for some reason want to clarify it’s not because I’m half. I want him to know my dad is from Brooklyn, not Palermo and that the only reason I know more than “ciao,” or “grazie,” is because I took the initiative to do so through tutors, movies, music, Duolingo — lots of Duolingo.
He nods as if it will help or maybe he’s pretending to be interested. Either way, we’re in the same spot where we started — hand gestures or silence.
Maybe it’s just best I keep quiet, I think to myself.
Finally, I arrive at my AirBnb in Granada. Waiting for me at the front door is an elderly man and woman straight out of Central Casting for doting aunt and uncle.
They are warm and hospitable and instantly I feel as though we’re family. I half expect them to tell me to make my bed or take out the trash.
I take a picture with “Aunt Ines,” who is almost painfully adorable.
It’s a humble space and far more than I need. I decide on the bedroom closest to the front door and opt for the single bed instead of the double on the other side of the room.
Before long, they’re gone and it’s just me in some stranger’s home in a country I may have needed a minute to find on a map just a year earlier.
The way traveling should be, I think to myself.
Just before bed I take a peek at the photo on my touchscreen and see that Aunt Ines is beaming.
I am happy too, sporting my usual outfit no matter what time of year or place on the globe.
I must be the only man in all of Nicaragua wearing a scarf.
                                                                -----
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