Saturday, February 3, 2018

Why it's Important to Sharpen Your Interest in Other People

I once heard someone say, “Sharpen your interest in people and life.” It made consider how tempting it is to overlook the importance of authentic connection and how life’s ups, downs, but mostly in-betweens can gradually make living seem like we’re punching a clock.

Our past informs our lives in significant ways; a failed relationship, a thwarted dream, our sense of self desperately unclear can convince us it’s safer to opt out rather than play another hand.
I’ve often wondered the difference between those who view failure as an opportunity for reinvention versus those who see failure as an excuse to retreat further within themselves.

A few years ago, as I sat in a cramped coffee house a few blocks from my old grad school, I overheard a conversation between an elderly man and a woman roughly the same age.

The two were strangers until they weren’t. The gentlemen and I were sitting by the window facing Broadway, directly across the street from Koronet Pizza, a neighborhood stalwart as far as pizza goes.
“I like to sit here because the light’s better for reading,” I overheard him say before realizing I agreed.

He obliged her request to sit at his table as he perused the New York Times. A smile spread across his wearied face as she took her seat. It was as if he needed, however briefly, to truly connect with another soul.

I wondered for a moment why she didn’t ask to sit at my table though I may have been more relieved than I cared to admit. It may have been the giant Everest backpack resting in the empty chair beside me, or a feeling on her part she might have more to say to the man across from me should an opportunity to speak arise, which it eventually did.

It was clear they were both well-read and informed about current events, which is to say they knew a thing or two about politics. They seemed to bond over their disdain for a presidential candidate and a few other slightly less polarizing issues and people.

But when the conversation shifted to the future the old man said over and over that he was hopeful, while his new friend glanced at him incredulously.

This man, who was undoubtedly in the final chapter of his life clung fiercely to a sense of hope for a future he would likely not be a part of.

The woman on the other hand seemed intrigued but too versed in songs of broken promises to indulge him.

Still, their differences were not a barrier to kindness or authentic connection. Neither ever interrupted the other, they listened with the intent to understand, and even when they disagreed they did so with kindness and respect.

There was an artistry to their exchange; an unspoken respect for having lived enough life to know what they didn’t know.

When it was time to go they each rose from their chairs and headed off in different directions becoming strangers once again.

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