Why You Ultimately Have to do it for You

There's nothing more frustrating that being wildly passionate about a project and not seeing it resonate with others. Over the years I performed in countless little black box theaters only to see 4, or 5 people in attendance. I've spent weeks polishing up an article only to have it read by a handful of people. I have also made films so handedly rejected from festivals it made my head spin. But I keep doing it. Why? 

Because it's important to ME.

Your job as an artist is not to be a molder of consensus but to share your craftsmanship with the world and see what happens. But you can only continue to put good work out if it means something to you first.

The quest for validation by getting up at 4:00 am to work on a screenplay, or bleed on stage for your craft will more than likely go unappreciated. And that's just the people who show up. Most people won't get it and large percentage won't even care. We all lead busy lives and are naturally consumed by our own needs. 

In Haruki Murakami's book South of the Border, West of the Sun there's a terrific line that goes:

“People want to be bowled over by something special.  Nine times out of ten you might strike out, but that tenth time, that peak experience, is what people want.  That’s what can move the world.  That’s art.”

We do it for that one time. But it can't be only for that one time. We have to ultimately do it because we want to. If we don't the blank stares from parents and friends when we describe our latest endeavors will stop us in our tracks. 

It's not for them, it's for YOU. 

JUST. DON'T. QUIT.

The Power of Values

I look back with fondness on those times I performed in cramped, poorly lit black box theaters in the East Village. The audiences sat practically on top of one another as they huddled together to watch original works by some of New York's most promising playwrights.

I also recall rehearsing scenes from, A Doll's House during drama school. My classmates and I sat in narrow hallways after being kicked out of rehearsal spaces others had wisely signed up for in advance.

As much as I look back on those times with a sense of gratitude and nostalgia, I wouldn't do it over again. My goals have changed and my perspective has evolved. In other words, what I value as an actor and individual is no longer the same. I have grown.

Many of us often have a difficult time saying, "No." We take on too many projects earnestly believing we can do it all, while secretly wanting to please others.

I've learned that saying "no" to something means you are invariably saying "yes" to something else. It may be a rewarding opportunity now, or many years down the road. 

If there's something you feel obligated to do, but feel a voice tugging at you to pass it's likely that your values are not aligned with the opportunity. If your values are important enough to you protect them at all costs and align them with your vision.

Plenty of Talent

Last night I went to see a friend perform a few songs in an old bar in an equally old hotel on the corner of a quiet street.

I arrived on time without much fanfare and was immediately greeted by my friend's boyfriend and the doorman. One said hello and embraced me with a hug, while the other promptly asked for $8.

I watched all three acts that night in a cramped little room that reminded me of the many black box theaters I  once performed in, nestled between nondescript bars and corner markets in the East Village.

Each musician was unique, talented, and a real joy to listen to. I was glad I'd made the trek even if it was 8:00 pm on a Sunday night.

During one of the performances, it dawned on me that at a certain point there's little distinction between many of those who supposedly "make it," in the entertainment industry.

I would have had no qualms about stumbling across any one of their songs on the radio, or playing in a coffee shop. They were great.

Still, these musicians would likely argue they hadn't yet reached the success they hoped for.

I suppose once can take great solace in knowing that talent in this world is not in short supply.