Taking Initiative Emboldens Other to Do the Same

Several years back a close friend of mine decided to start a web series. She had no experience directing, writing, or producing but felt compelled to tell her story. Admittedly, I was a little skeptical at first. I didn't share her vision for the project but after a few months I was a believer.

I marveled at how she figured out how to book space for reasonable rates, surround herself with like-minded artists who believed in her project, and consistently create great content. Within the span of several weeks she'd become a three dimensional storyteller. She suddenly knew a little about a lot and wasn't at the mercy of anyone to get her voice out into the world.

Her example inspired me to do the same. In just 3 months I too wrote, produced, and acted in three short films of my own. In the summer of 2018 I hope to make my first feature. 

Taking bold action to make a dream a reality can be contagious. It emboldens others to do the same. And though the goal is not to emulate the exact trajectory of others, we can help awaken the potential in someone, or even ourselves when we've yet to realize how remarkable we can be. 

Lessons Learned from Getting Run on the Basketball Court

One lazy summer afternoon when I was about 19 years old, I headed down to the park to play some basketball with a few buddies. Now, I didn't grow up in a family of basketball lovers. Soccer and baseball were sports I excelled at and it wasn't until about junior high that I started playing organized basketball. Even then I was never particularly good at it, but could hold my own because I was a good enough athlete. So, I had a dose of swagger that afternoon when 3 kids approached us for a little game of pick-up. 

"Sure," I nodded. My friend Bill stood about 6'3 and played on our high school team along with my buddy Sean who was arguably the best basketball player in my class. Our opponents on the other hand were no taller than 5'6, each weighed less than 140 lbs, and didn't appear to have an athletic bone in their bodies.

We got off to a quick lead but within minutes it soon faded. These guys ran the floor with us. They were quicker, smarter, and played as a team. They were fundamentally sound, energetic, hustled, an unlike us, weren't in the habit of underestimating their opponents.

After the game we shook hands and had a good laugh about it. But far more importantly we took away a very important lesson that afternoon. We learned the value of not assuming. So poignant was the lesson the three of us still talk about that afternoon and the life lesson it imparted. 

Never Again

Years ago I participated in a summer acting program called the Training Congress at A.C.T. in San Francisco. The 9-week course was an introduction to what a 3-year MFA program might look like.  

There were between 60 - 70 young actors divided up into groups noted by color. I was in the Red Group led by an American actor who'd flown in from Rome where he was living.

For weeks we studied voice, Shakespeare, and the Greeks. We critiqued one another's scenes, learned how to break down a scene, and got some helpful tips on auditioning. By the end, I was ready to start applying for the real deal.

On the last day of class I strolled up to my teacher as he wrapped up speaking to a classmate. I remember it clear as day as we stood on the roof of 30 Grant Street with a clear view of downtown San Francisco.

"I'm thinking of applying to MFA programs in the fall. Any advice?" I asked. He thought it over for what seemed like hours before saying, "You have to work a lot harder." I remember being both surprised and embarrassed by his observation. I felt my stomach tighten suddenly compelled to defend myself. But the truth was he was right.

From that point on I promised myself nobody would ever be able to say that to me again. And not just as an actor but in every arena of my life.

I grew to be comfortable with failure as long as I could comfortably walk away and say I'd given it absolutely everything I had. 

Since that day I've been able to say as much and it's made all the difference.

The 5-Second Rule

What a difference 3 weeks can make. One of the biggest reservations I had about teaching this summer was having to have what are called, "Desk Talks" with students. It refers to when a teacher needs to speak one-on-one with a student disrupting a class.

I was also a bit reluctant to speak to parents about possible behavioral or academic setbacks their children might be having. I associated both responsibilities as confrontational and wanted to avoid both at all costs.

But a funny thing started to happen the more I taught. I gradually fell into a groove, took command of my classroom more and more each week, and didn't hesitate when an issue needed to be addressed. I implemented what is called, "The 5-second rule."

The idea is simple. When you know there is something you should do, but your mind alerts you of the danger and gradually persuades you to steer clear you go to the fear anyway. The longer you wait the less likely you'll address the problem. If it helps, you can even count to yourself.

Just remember not to wait. GO. TO. THE. FEAR. 

What Fishing with a WWII Vet Taught Me

I can’t remember who organized a fishing trip with Noonie and me one summer afternoon. I was just a few years out of college and hadn’t really spoken to our old neighbors since my family had moved. Yet, here we were out on the reservoir fishing together.

To say Noonie was a man of few words would be a profound understatement. Like many men of his generation, he spoke only when he had something worth saying. Something I've grown to appreciate as I get older.

                 

As the two of us sat in the boat I noticed Noonie gazing out on the calm surface of the water. It was peaceful and I felt lucky to be spending time with someone whose example I had grown to admire. 

Unexpectedly, he broke the silence and started talking about his time in the Navy during World War II.  “We were so young. We didn’t know what was going to happen. It was scary at times. I hated most of it to be honest. But you know, it’s funny, I look back now and it was probably the best time of my life.” Then he drifted off and didn’t say another word for the rest of the day.

I realized two things that day. First, life is about relationships. Knowing you have a support system that will listen to your concerns, understand your doubts, and lend a hand when you’re in need is always important.

And second, someday we may regret the moments we spent so much time trying to speed through. It’s easy to enjoy the ups, be grateful the downs have passed, but most of living is in the middle. It takes a little more effort, but since we spend so much time there, it’s well worth learning to appreciate.

It's Hard But It's Worth It

This morning I spoke to a close friend of mine back in New York. She was very stressed out about all the things she had to do before staging her play this summer. "I need to find someone to do the lighting, the right actors, and of course, I have to raise all this money so I can pay everyone. I'm really worried," she told me.

"Calm down," I said. "You're exactly where you're supposed to be. Everyone that puts on a play, or shoots a film wrestles with the same issues. That's one of the reasons why it's such an extraordinary accomplishment once you get it done."

She agreed and after a few minutes took comfort in the knowing she was in good company. "I'd be more worried if there were no hiccups," I added. She laughed. 

What we do is meaningful and if done well can forever change the way we think, feel, and interact. It is for those exact same reasons that it is so difficult to pull off.

But the ones who push through that adversity have a special opportunity to share their voice, while bringing people together. 

It's hard but it's worth it. Go forth. 

Priority & Poise

My schedule just had a wrench thrown in it. I'm excited to be teaching this summer but it's already left far less time for me to pursue my creative endeavors. But there may be a silver lining in all of this.

After a very long day of teacher training, I discovered I still have the time to follow through on projects of value. I just need to do two things:

1. Prioritize
2. Keep my poise

When we say we don't have time for something what we're really saying is it's not a priority. You'll move mountains to get something done if it's important enough to you. We do it every day.

Glaring at an endless to-do list can be daunting but the more we keep our poise and gradually chip away at each task, a funny thing starts to happen - it gets done. 

Conversely, when we look at the list as a whole it's easy to get overwhelmed. As a result, we often throw in the towel without even trying.

But when you break it all up into small pieces with a heightened sense of focus on each task your confidence builds and you start to see the finish line. Just don't look up too soon.

The Benefits of Reading Stories

I'm getting ready for a summer teaching job. In a few weeks I'll go through roughly 120 hours of training all in an effort to give me the tools to teach kids ages 4 - 17 how to fall in love with reading. I'm looking forward to the skills and techniques I'll be taught because I believe I'll be able to use them in other arenas of my life.

I spent a great deal of my time reading biographies, self-development and entrepreneur books, that I sometimes forget that fiction expands your imagination in remarkable ways. 

But what I've learned by reading the required books, The Cricket in Times Square, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and The Lord of the Rings is falling in love with fictional stories has many benefits. 

You learn to think critically, identify broad themes, and take solace in knowing you're not alone. Storytelling is the oldest form of cultivating community. And as readers, we have the opportunity to focus on our shared bond as creators, adventurers, and dreamers. 

Three things you're never too old to be.

Lessons Learned Traveling the World

Last summer, I had the great fortune of traveling to several countries in the Middle East and Eastern Europe. It was an opportunity to re-connect with friends, see parts of the world I hadn't visited before, and much needed reflection.

I wrote each day about my journey, while asking someone in each new place for the best piece of advice someone had ever given them. The insights were profound, while refreshingly simple.

http://www.worldambler.com/ 

On the very last day of my journey I found myself in Warsaw, Poland. My final discovery was perhaps the most poignant -- at least at the time:

Living life on your own terms, which is to say, an existence of nonconformity is like any other meaningful pursuit. It takes practice and time to hone your craft. But in time, you slowly get better and better, eventually skilled at shooing away the chatter and noise of those who project their own fears and failures upon you. The notion that you must live a certain type of life wanes in its ability to ruffle you because you have become a master craftsman in living life the way you see fit.