The Beautiful, Alluring, Imaginative, Unpredictable, and Whimsical World of Dominic

In the neighborhood that I grew up in I had everything a kid could possibly want.  The grade school I went to was a mile down the road.  Each weekend I would play soccer games coached by a family friend at a field a mere 5-minute walk away from our house.  

There was also a community pool and a field where all the neighborhood kids would gather in the summers for endless games of baseball.  

But without question, the best part of growing up was living 5 houses away from my best friend Dominic.

For 7 years each afternoon of my young life started with me running at full speed to the house at the bottom of the street. I would burst through the door that led to the kitchen, never once knocking, and would always be greeted by Dominic’s mom Patty.  She beamed as I entered with my spikey mousse filled hair. 

“Hi Nicky!  How are you?  I think Dom’s in his room,” she would say.

 Dominic’s family became my family.  I envied their loving dynamic, the fun they had together, and the freedom their parents gave each child to be who they were.  One of the things that I admired most was Dominic’s imagination.  He saw the world in a completely different way.  His take on life was always unique and imaginative, even for a kid. 

Little Miss Sunshine

His family would often invite me to their grandparents’ ranch in Paso Robles, a wonderland of horses, creeks, and endless hills.  It was about a 4-hour drive from Oakland in the family’s big blue van.  To a boy, a trip this long seemed like a voyage to the moon.  

Still, what made the time go by fast was listening to Dominic ask his dad the most imaginative questions.  “Dad, what would happen if you jumped off a 10,000 foot bridge without a parachute, but right before you were about to hit the water a giant pterodactyl swooped in and bumped you with his wing?  Could you survive? 

Or, what if you were falling in an elevator from the 200^th floor of a building in Nova Scotia and right before the elevator reached the basement you jumped up, but only using your left foot?  What would happen?” 

It took me a long time to appreciate the relationship between Dominic’s curiosity about the world and his love of books.  If I ever arrived at Dom’s house and he was buried in a book, I knew I’d have a better chance of parting the sea than prying the book from his hands.  He read like he breathed.  

Dominic's world was a place of questions, wonder, and possibilities unlocked by the pages of good books.  His passion for literature never ceased, enabling him to go to good schools, engage in important debates, and build his understanding of himself. 

Tell People You're Proud of Them

The new generation of young parents gets a lot of flak for how they smother their kids. These days it's not rare for a kid to receive a deluge of praise on a regular basis. Whether or not it's earned seems beside the point, but I suspect it always comes from an earnest place.

For the past several weeks I've taught kids ages 4 - 17 how to fall in love with books and storytelling. I zig-zag across cities schlepping boxes full of books like, Where the Wild Things Are and The Fellowship of the Ring. 

What I've learned is that telling people, especially young ones, that you're proud of them matters. A lot. I've seen kids come to life at the sound of the 4 words, "I'm proud of you." Some are motivated to work even harder, others stare at me blankly as if they've never been told as much before. But they're always grateful. "Thank you, Mr. Nick," they say. And each time I offer a word or two of encouragement I can tell it was just what they needed to hear.

Don't be shy about praise. You can offer a kind word while keeping it grounded in reality. Just share a simple phrase saying you appreciate their effort and the way they show up in life. It will go a very long way.

The Benefits of Reading Stories

I'm getting ready for a summer teaching job. In a few weeks I'll go through roughly 120 hours of training all in an effort to give me the tools to teach kids ages 4 - 17 how to fall in love with reading. I'm looking forward to the skills and techniques I'll be taught because I believe I'll be able to use them in other arenas of my life.

I spent a great deal of my time reading biographies, self-development and entrepreneur books, that I sometimes forget that fiction expands your imagination in remarkable ways. 

But what I've learned by reading the required books, The Cricket in Times Square, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and The Lord of the Rings is falling in love with fictional stories has many benefits. 

You learn to think critically, identify broad themes, and take solace in knowing you're not alone. Storytelling is the oldest form of cultivating community. And as readers, we have the opportunity to focus on our shared bond as creators, adventurers, and dreamers. 

Three things you're never too old to be.

Don't Forget to Be a Person

Years ago I was taking an acting on-camera class with a popular instructor in New York. "Ever had the experience of prepping for an audition with a friend, or partner who isn't an actor?" he asked. "Doesn't it drive you crazy when you've been struggling to understand a scene and they come along and get it instantly?" The entire class nodded, taking solace in the fact we'd all felt the same way at one time or another.

"Do you want to know why that is?" he finally said. "It's because they're looking at the scene as a human being and not an actor."

It was true. I'd picked up some great tools in drama school, but in getting bogged down with "obstacles," and "objectives," and "high stakes," I'd lost the all important ability to use my imagination and simply ask myself, "What would I do in this situation?"

Hone your skills as an actor but don't forget to look at the work as a person.