Asking the Right Questions

In1940 a man by the name of Mortimer J. Adler published a book called, wait for it….

How to Read a Book

As Mortimer puts it, your job as the reader is to strive for equality with the writer, who presumably knows more about the subject matter than you do.

He proposes asking 4 questions while reading in order to do this more effectively:

1. What is the book about as a whole?
2. What is being said in detail?
3. Is the book true in whole or part?
4. What of it?

In other words you’re trying to determine what the central theme of the book is, how the author is supporting his or her argument, whether or not you agree with the what is being said, and figure out why the book is important.

In short, Mortimer’s argument is that you have to fundamentally change the way you look at reading.

A good reader is a demanding reader. One who has his or her highlighter in hand and ready to strike.

Know What You're Looking for in a Book

The table of contents is more than just a list of title chapters.

It’s a map.

The table of contents is a guide designed to prepare you for the unchartered land you’re about to enter.

Let’s take a book by Greg McKeown called, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less as an example. (a terrific book by the way)

If I open up to the table of contents, I discover the second chapter is titled,CHOOSE: The Invincible Power of Choice.

Now, some titles are going to provide more clues than others, but I can glean from this heading the author may discuss how decision-making is a powerful tool.

By having a sense of what the chapter is about, even broadly, I’ve armed myself for greater inspection. I now have an idea of what I’m looking for.

This can be a very effective way of reading because just as facts can serve us in better understanding a topic, they can also inhibit our comprehension.

The truth is, not everything is important. Some ideas matter more than others. Not all books need to be read from cover to cover. Many manuscripts will take one idea and spend the next 200 pages harping on it with no original or distinctive insights. If you’ve already found what you’re looking for, sometimes it’s a better use of your time to move on before finishing the book.

Knowing what you’re looking for is the first step.

The Reason You Don't Know How to Read

Don’t gloss over the title or table of contents

Before picking up a book, it may help to think of yourself as a detective. Remember, reading is active. It’s a craft.

And being passive about reading is no different than being passive in any endeavor; its rewards are never reaped, the full experience never realized.

Your job as a reader actually begins the moment you pick up a book.

First, ask yourself what the title communicates.

You’d be surprised to discover the number people who can’t remember the title of a book they’ve devoted substantial amounts of their time and resources to reading.

It’s because most people don’t believe it matters.

It does.

The title can be a very helpful indication of the world you’re about to enter. Even the art work on the book’s cover shouldn’t be overlooked.

When I taught a group of 8th graders J.R.R. Tolkien’s, The Fellowship of the Ring we spent nearly 10 minutes on the image alone.

Not only did the students come up with predictions the story would entail scenes of adventure and peril, but it also stirred up a sense of excitement.

And rousing some enthusiasm before reading is not insignificant. It makes reading more fun, and a result more engaging.

What I've Discovered About Reading

It's not enough to be a literate reader. One must be an active one. 

Reading a book for understanding is quite different than reading for knowledge. But both are crafts worth honing. 

Our job as the reader is to strive for equality with the writer, who presumably knows more about a subject than we do. 

The French Art of Not Giving a Sh*t

I want to preface this recommendation by admitting to not being nearly as wary of books with kitschy titles as I should be. Especially when they're parked upfront with the rest of the New York Times bestsellers.

But the latest from Fabrice Midal is funny, poignant, and actually far more enlightening than the title reveals.

In roughly 130 pages Midal irreverently but honestly talks about how we torment ourselves by conforming, fail to question why we do what we do, and in the process forget how to truly live.

Through thoughtful anecdotes and honest insights he nudges readers to accept themselves whole-heartedly, warts and all.

But mostly, his book is a call to protect the freedom of our minds at all costs.

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The Trouble with Great Books

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” ― Groucho Marx

We read to remind ourselves we're not alone. When we come across the right passage while flipping through the pages of a book there's a moment, however fleeting, that someone somewhere understands us better than we know ourselves. 

When we highlight, doggy-ear, or write about a feeling we were convinced no one else ever felt we're given a reprieve from our isolation.

But books can also inhibit us from sharing the insights we know to be true. We fear the likes of Seneca, Montaigne, and Jung have a monopoly on wisdom and as a result hesitate to share our own. 

The key is recognize these people, wise as they may have been, were also just PEOPLE. We musn't allow books, however great, to set boundaries on our curiosity or ability to think for ourselves. 

As Socrates said, "I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing." 

Such a proclamation should offer both solace and at the same time be an invitation to share OUR deepest selves.  

The true artistry of conversation as the late Irish poet John O'Donohue observed is when you overhear yourself say something you didn't know you knew.

But we must first give ourselves the opportunity to do so by loving books, while not allowing them to place borders on our minds.

The Beautiful, Alluring, Imaginative, Unpredictable, and Whimsical World of Dominic

In the neighborhood that I grew up in I had everything a kid could possibly want.  The grade school I went to was a mile down the road.  Each weekend I would play soccer games coached by a family friend at a field a mere 5-minute walk away from our house.  

There was also a community pool and a field where all the neighborhood kids would gather in the summers for endless games of baseball.  

But without question, the best part of growing up was living 5 houses away from my best friend Dominic.

For 7 years each afternoon of my young life started with me running at full speed to the house at the bottom of the street. I would burst through the door that led to the kitchen, never once knocking, and would always be greeted by Dominic’s mom Patty.  She beamed as I entered with my spikey mousse filled hair. 

“Hi Nicky!  How are you?  I think Dom’s in his room,” she would say.

 Dominic’s family became my family.  I envied their loving dynamic, the fun they had together, and the freedom their parents gave each child to be who they were.  One of the things that I admired most was Dominic’s imagination.  He saw the world in a completely different way.  His take on life was always unique and imaginative, even for a kid. 

Little Miss Sunshine

His family would often invite me to their grandparents’ ranch in Paso Robles, a wonderland of horses, creeks, and endless hills.  It was about a 4-hour drive from Oakland in the family’s big blue van.  To a boy, a trip this long seemed like a voyage to the moon.  

Still, what made the time go by fast was listening to Dominic ask his dad the most imaginative questions.  “Dad, what would happen if you jumped off a 10,000 foot bridge without a parachute, but right before you were about to hit the water a giant pterodactyl swooped in and bumped you with his wing?  Could you survive? 

Or, what if you were falling in an elevator from the 200^th floor of a building in Nova Scotia and right before the elevator reached the basement you jumped up, but only using your left foot?  What would happen?” 

It took me a long time to appreciate the relationship between Dominic’s curiosity about the world and his love of books.  If I ever arrived at Dom’s house and he was buried in a book, I knew I’d have a better chance of parting the sea than prying the book from his hands.  He read like he breathed.  

Dominic's world was a place of questions, wonder, and possibilities unlocked by the pages of good books.  His passion for literature never ceased, enabling him to go to good schools, engage in important debates, and build his understanding of himself. 

Raise Necessity

In one of the several books I've been praising lately, I've learned one of the strategies that separates high achievers from everyone else is raising necessity. World class athletes to successful executives understand the power of following through on an objective for a higher calling -- for someone or something other than themselves. 

Whether it's an Olympian who strives for greatness for his or her country, the father who sees a project through long before its deadline to spend more time with his family, or the busy executive showing up to the gym at 5:00 am because she doesn't want to let down her trainer, there is extraordinary power in looking beyond your own needs when it comes to achievement. 

Raising necessity means building the community of folks who have something at stake if you don't honor your word. It's not about placing unrealistic expectations or pressure on yourself but about a heightened sense of accountability. 

If You Chase Two Rabbits You Will Not Catch Either One -- Praise for the Book, "The One Thing"

A mentor recently passed along a book that has completely reframed the way I look at focus. It's called, The One Thing and I highly recommend it. 

I've found myself underlining, highlighting, doggy-earring the countless insights and strategies that seem so obvious yet rarely practiced. Here's a very brief rundown of my takeaways so far:

1. Level up your focus.

2. Not all things matter equally.

3. You have to create a domino effect in your life -- success begets success

4. Do the right thing and then the NEXT right thing.

5. When you improve the right skill your results improve. 

6. Find the ONE thing and LIVE it. 

7. Be aware of the "The 6 Lies Between You and Success."

-- Everything Matters Equally

-- Multitasking 

-- A Disciplined Life

-- Willpower is Always on Will-Call

-- A Balanced Life

-- Big is Bad

8. "When everything feels urgent and important, everything seems equal. We become active and busy, but this doesn't actually move us any closer to success." (My number one challenge!)

9. Success isn't a game of who does the most -- be aware of to-do's that masquerade as priorities.

10. You can think BIG and still go small -- busy vs. productive.

This book will be a revelation for a lot of actors and artists because you can't compare our industry with anything else in the world. It's an incredibly a solo and sometimes lonely endeavor, success can be nebulous, and opportunities rare.

As a result, we often cling to something that will make us feel as if though we're inching closer to our dreams without taking into account its actual usefulness. 

I know I've made countless "to-do lists" over the last 10 years that often gave the elusion I was being productive, while in actuality they were just keeping me busy. 

Pick up this book and figure out how to turn your "to-do list" into a "success list." 

Happy reading!

https://www.amazon.com/ONE-Thing-Surprisingly-Extraordinary-Results/dp/1885167776/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1509656362&sr=8-1&keywords=the+one+thing

The Habits and Mindset of Prolific Writers

Isaac Assimov wrote or edited over 500 books and roughly 90,000 letters in his 72 years. Romance novelist Barbara Cartland wrote more than 700 books, while Stephen King has written 60-full length works of fiction and nearly 200 short stories. 

Today there is a big debate between the importance of talent versus grit. "Some people just have it while others don't," is the refrain I hear most frequently. But if there's anything I've learned from some of the most prolific writers of our time it's first and foremost about simply sitting down and doing the work. That level of discipline has become extraordinarily rare in this age of constant distraction and short attention spans. Here are some of the habits I've noticed in some of the creators I admire most:

1. They don't wait for inspiration. What the Isaac Assimov's and Hemingway's of the world understood is you can't simply wait for some divine revelation to hit you. You have to write whether you feel like it or not and, here's the key, stay consistent. This means falling madly in love with failure, being able to stomach your work being bad, and setting a time each day where you plant yourself sans distraction and write. As David Mamet once said, "I'm not any less confused about it than you are. I just got in the habit of doing it." 

2. They don't allow themselves to be thwarted by the criticism of others. Playwright Edward Albee once said, "I didn't stop writing just because you didn't like it." If you're writing as consistently as people like Stephen King or Woody Allen chances are the work is not always going to be great. In fact, much of it will be underwhelming. The key is to not let that stop you from trying. One of the greatest impediments to becoming a master craftsman is the inability to tolerate something not being great. The key is to appreciate the road to mastery is a long and fleeting journey but you can only get there if you keep going.

3. They set up small "wins." Author, photographer, and weightlifter James Clear talks a great deal about small wins. His weekly newsletter devoted to uncovering habits and routines that make people extraordinary goes out every week come rain, sleet, or snow. He understands that there will be some days where you just don't feel like doing something but that it's still key to put in the work. You may write 5 sentences one day, or 2 the next. But rather than criticizing yourself for not being Shakespeare you can honor the effort. And if you feel like you're in a perpetual state of frustration it's very likely your expectations are too high and you're being unfair to yourself. This mindset has the tendency to stymie any effort and leave us sitting idle rather than focusing on being proactive regardless of how significant the output. 

Leave Your Book Out

I could go on and on about the benefits of diving into a great book but one of the most overlooked reasons is the ease in which it allows for interesting conversations to happen.

Years ago, as I was taking the train home I noticed a woman reading a book I'd just finished. I asked her if she was enjoying it. She seemed a bit taken back at first, almost startled that someone would pull her from the world she'd been inhabiting. "Yes," she finally said. "It's really interesting." 

I asked her if she'd reached a certain part in the book that I'd especially enjoyed and saw her slowly light up. "I just read that part!" she said. "Pretty crazy." 

We spoke for another stop or two before I got off and made my way home. I remember marveling and how I'd had a moment of authentic communication, even connection with a complete stranger in a city often noted for isolation and feigned interest. The power of books, I thought to myself. Of ideas, of possibility. 


Next time you're in line at the check-out counter or sitting on a plane, leave your book out and see what unfolds.  

Stephen King on Writing

I was pretty skeptical about picking up a book about writing. This is not to say I was above doing so but that I was unclear on how one could be taught how to be a writer. That all changed when I bought Anna Lamott's, Bird by Bird last fall.

Her well-written and honest take on how writing is both painful and capable of offering unparalleled fulfillment inspired me to pick up another. This time, I bought Stephen King's, On Writing. 

I can't claim to be the biggest Stephen King fan. In fact, I don't think I've read any of his books until this one. But this one is no less than a Master Class. It's a simple collection of personal stories sprinkled in with some helpful do's and don'ts. King mostly nudges but isn't shy about some habits he considers nothing less than blasphemous. ("The road to hell is paved with adverbs.")

Here are some of the lessons I've taken away so far. I hope you find them as helpful as I do:

-- Omit all needless words

-- The editor is always right

-- NEVER staple a manuscript

-- Stopping a piece of work just because it's hard either emotionally or imaginatively is a bad idea.

-- Write for whatever reason you want. To save the world. To be heard. But don't EVER come to writing easily. Writing isn't curing cancer but it's also not putting on lipstick. Never be casual when you pick up a pen to say something.

-- Fear is usually at the root of bad writing. 

-- Good writing is usually about letting go of fear and affectation.

Tell People You're Proud of Them

The new generation of young parents gets a lot of flak for how they smother their kids. These days it's not rare for a kid to receive a deluge of praise on a regular basis. Whether or not it's earned seems beside the point, but I suspect it always comes from an earnest place.

For the past several weeks I've taught kids ages 4 - 17 how to fall in love with books and storytelling. I zig-zag across cities schlepping boxes full of books like, Where the Wild Things Are and The Fellowship of the Ring. 

What I've learned is that telling people, especially young ones, that you're proud of them matters. A lot. I've seen kids come to life at the sound of the 4 words, "I'm proud of you." Some are motivated to work even harder, others stare at me blankly as if they've never been told as much before. But they're always grateful. "Thank you, Mr. Nick," they say. And each time I offer a word or two of encouragement I can tell it was just what they needed to hear.

Don't be shy about praise. You can offer a kind word while keeping it grounded in reality. Just share a simple phrase saying you appreciate their effort and the way they show up in life. It will go a very long way.

First Day of School

Yesterday, marked the first day of my summer teaching position. I'm working for an organization geared towards helping kids from 4k all the way to high school learn to fall in love with books and storytelling. 

The strategies are also made up of some more technical components like teaching phonics, speed reading, and gauging reading comprehension. It was a challenging but great first day.

En route to my new job I left before the crack of dawn. I didn't want to take any chances with the traffic that has now become legendary, or infamous rather, in these parts. I tripled checked all the materials I needed to bring, but quickly found out during my second class I should have looked once more. 

"You forgot it,"a first grader said to me. There aren't many things worse than that sinking feeling of letting someone down.

Still, I improvised. I made the best out of an avoidable situation and ended on a strong note. And my first go was a Masters Class. Here's what I learned:

• Go to the fear immediately. Don’t wait, or you'll likely never do it.
• Stay healthy – get rest, eat well, and be kind to yourself. You will not last if you don’t.
• You have more energy than you think.
• You will rise to the occasion no matter how hard the work if you’ve trained properly beforehand.
• NOTHING goes according to plan.
• You must be flexible.
• Kindness and patience no matter what.

Living on a Whole New Level

Over the years, I've worked very hard to cultivate strong daily habits and the right mindset. I've read the books, joined the newsletters, and attended some of the webinars. 

Still, we always have the ability to raise our game to another level. And in the process of trying to do so, I've noticed some holes in my approach. I've started to take inventory of what's holding back. And sometimes we've been trucking along doing the same thing for so long we don't even know what our bad habits are anymore, or how we're getting in our own way.

For instance, I realize I need to eradicate excuses. It's holding me back from reaching the next place I want to get to. I also need to develop a stronger heart/soul mentality as well. 

What I'm slowly discovering is that EVERYTHING needs to work in unison. If they don't any progress you gain is not foundational or sustainable. Being really proficient in one arena of your life and not in another will eventually catch up with you. It's like working out every day, but then going home and not eating well.

Once we get aligned mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and become protective of things like time with family, education over entertainment, and eradicating toxic people from our lives, I have a feeling we'll really start living. 

Read Children's Books...Lots of Them

In the past two weeks I've had to read books like, Tuck Everlasting, Banner in the Sky, Henry Huggins, and Marvin the Moose. These books are all part of my teacher training for the summer.

I can't emphasize enough the power behind reading books geared towards children. Because they're designed to cultivate a love of reading and plant the seeds for critical thought, they are filled with simple yet deeply meaningful themes on the human condition. 

While reading these books you can't help but tap back into that younger version of yourself that believed in the importance of community and that anything is possible.

Pick up a kid's book and get back in touch with your sense of curiosity and faith in the world.

The Benefits of Reading Stories

I'm getting ready for a summer teaching job. In a few weeks I'll go through roughly 120 hours of training all in an effort to give me the tools to teach kids ages 4 - 17 how to fall in love with reading. I'm looking forward to the skills and techniques I'll be taught because I believe I'll be able to use them in other arenas of my life.

I spent a great deal of my time reading biographies, self-development and entrepreneur books, that I sometimes forget that fiction expands your imagination in remarkable ways. 

But what I've learned by reading the required books, The Cricket in Times Square, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and The Lord of the Rings is falling in love with fictional stories has many benefits. 

You learn to think critically, identify broad themes, and take solace in knowing you're not alone. Storytelling is the oldest form of cultivating community. And as readers, we have the opportunity to focus on our shared bond as creators, adventurers, and dreamers. 

Three things you're never too old to be.

If It Were Easy, Everybody Would Do It

It's so important to surround yourself with passionate and forward-thinking people. It's also vital to incorporate helpful resources like great books, podcasts, and online courses into your daily routine. But that can all be a disservice if you don't remember one thing...

one size does not fit all. Apply what applies to you. 

Whether you're trying to make headway in your acting career, trying to position yourself as an expert in your field, or working to launch a business, conventional wisdom tells us if you just follow a certain 12-step program you'll get to where you need to be.

The truth is, those steps were developed by some who benefited from them. They might not be for you. Your experiences, skill set, and philosophies are completely different. 

What's my point? Develop the ability to question everything (even this blog!) and filter out what doesn't apply to your path and implement what does.

But the most important part is you have to possess a fundamental belief in yourself that you're capable of doing it in the first place. If there is not an inherent sense of confidence in your vision, no system, no matter who developed it, will work. 

IBD's 10 Secrets to Success

Investor Business Daily has spent years analyzing leaders and successful people in all walks of life. Most have 10 traits that, when combined, can turn dreams into reality. 

1. HOW YOU THINK IS EVERYTHING. Always be positive. Think success, not failure. Beware of a negative environment.

2. DECIDE UPON YOUR TRUE DREAMS AND GOALS: Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them.

3. TAKE ACTION: Goals are nothing without action. Don't be afraid to get started. Just do it.

4. NEVER STOP LEARNING: Go back to school or read books. Get training and acquire skills.

5. BE PERSISTENT AND WORK HARD: Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up.

6. LEARN TO ANALYZE DETAILS: Get all the facts, all the input. Learn from your mistakes.

7. FOCUS YOUR TIME AND MONEY: Don't let other people or things distract you.

8. DON'T BE AFRAID TO INNOVATE; BE DIFFERENT: Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity. 

9. DEAL AND COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE EFFECTIVELY: No person is an island. Learn to understand and motivate others.

10. BE HONEST AND DEPENDABLE; TAKE RESPONSIBILITY: Otherwise number 1-9 won't matter.

Read Widely

By most accounts, I was a pretty good kid growing up. I never had much interest in getting into trouble, sparing my parents a headache or two.

This is not to say I was the perfect son by any stretch. One source of great anxiety for my mom and dad was my refusal to sit still and finish a book. I'd never seen my father come so close to weeping as he tried everything short of a seance to get me to fall in love with literature.

It took some time, but their efforts paid off. Books have become something I can't live without. They also played a very important role in making me a better actor.

By reading widely I was able to consider perspectives wildly different from my own. When taking on new projects, I began to think as a playwright, director, or producer might. Characters now leaped from the page becoming three-dimensional.

Discovering more about science, history, philosophy, and current events enabled me to connect a heightened sense of humanity to the plays and scripts I read. I began to rely less on just my technical training as an actor and get more in touch with what it really meant to be human.

Books pushed, stretched, and nudged me to think bigger.

They've served me well in my pursuit to become a great storyteller and beyond.