Lessons from a Japanese Convenient Store

Family Mart is essentially an improved version of 7-Eleven but with three noteworthy differences. First, Family Mart has amazing snacks that are presumably healthier than those found in the aisles of say an AM/PM. 

Second, within 600 square feet of space you can buy just about anything you need to live comfortably for the rest of your life. Any place where I can buy a stapler, an umbrella, and a sandwich is okay by me. 

But what stood out the most was the service. Regardless of the time of day (open 24 hours of course), the crowd, or weather, the employees of Family Mart were always extremely polite and professional. They greeted each customer with deliberate intention and energy. Patience was always practiced and as a foreigner I never felt self-conscious about my inability to speak the language. 

It turned out that Family Mart was just the beginning. I paid close attention to how thoughtful the hotel staff was towards its guests. I watched train agents go well out of their way to help commuters find their transfers. The Bullet Train was always on time, literally to the minute. 

And each person, regardless of their occupation or background carried themselves with an almost radiant self-respect. 

What I learned was invaluable:  The meaning of your life and what you choose to do with it has as much value as you decide to give it.  

From businessman to a cashiers there was little distinction to who valued their position more. Commitment and professionalism were integral parts of country's culture.

The Value of Writing a Mission Statement

Years ago, someone suggested I write a personal mission statement. At the time, I didn’t see the value in describing my life’s mission. 

But as time went on I realized my reservations about writing a mission statement were more about my fears of confronting the truth -- that I hadn’t really thought about what my life’s purpose might be.

But the more I read, travelled, volunteered, and found ways to infuse my life with meaning, the more I began to appreciate the value of gathering those experiences and putting them to paper. I decided that my mission statement would be a collection of values, principles, and aspirations that I could refer back to whenever I needed a reminder of WHY I was doing what I was doing. 

I spent several years refining a declaration that was heavily influenced by the authors, speakers, and thinkers I most admired.

I suggest collecting your own ideas and creating a statement. It doesn’t have to be lengthy and you need not share it with a soul. 

It's just a little template for your to refer back to when that path ahead seems less clear or unchartered all together.

2 Simple Productivity Tips to Help Strip Away Distraction

Focus Your Focus

In this age of weapons of mass distraction how do you effectively move your lofty goals forward, while transforming your to-do lists to “success lists?”

In my decade of working as an actor and entrepreneur, I have discovered the best way to do the work that matters is first decide what matters least.

And I’m not the only one…

In his New York Times bestseller, The One Thing Gary Keller stresses the importance of beginning each day by asking once crucial question,

“What’s the one thing I can do today that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”

In other words…

Until the most pressing action for moving a project forward is completed everything else should be labeled a distraction.

One of the best ways to do the work that matters most is to first figure out what matters least.

Two Steps for Finding What Matters Most

1. Focus On One Focus at a Time  

Be brutally honest about what is “important” versus “urgent.” Crossing off a task on our to-do list gives us a very addictive drip of dopamine that leads us to rarely question the utility of what we’re doing.  

For example:

My primary objective right now is to build a mailing list so I can add value and share my message to a broader audience.

A few weeks back I managed to convince myself my travel blog, a platform that generates zero revenue, suddenly was in need of a makeover.

I invested time and resources into what is essentially a hobby, when my personal website still lacked a functional email opt-in and tech setup.  

How did I allow myself to veer so far off course? I was afraid to enter the lion’s den of priority and as result clung to work I knew would keep me busy.

Chances are, you’re doing this too.

Eventually, I tabled the blog to my “someday list.” This didn’t mean revamping my travel blog was a no. Instead, it helped me to re-prioritize and make the task a NOT RIGHT NOW.

This allowed me to allocate my time to what mattered most.

What do you need to move to your “someday list” so you can focus on your most important task at hand?

2. Build a “Great Wall of Productivity.”

Think of your most important project as the LAND your wall is protecting and time as the RESOURCES (like food and water) you need to defend for your people. The longevity and sustainability of both depend on the strength of your wall and battalion.

In the beginning, my wall was poorly manned, easy to scale, and breached from top to bottom.

No matter how hard I tried invaders like email, text messages, and other people’s priorities sacked and pillaged my kingdom each day. I needed a better fortification system.

• I raised my walls by blocking off non-negotiable time blocks.
• I filled the cracks by putting my phone on airplane mode.
• And I improved the armor of my soldiers by letting others know I couldn’t be bothered until my top priority was done.

Why?

It’s easier to avoid distractions than resist them.

What are the forces clashing up against your wall of productivity?

Keep a piece of paper handy so you can jot down everything that distracts you during the workweek. Then on Friday, review the list and ask yourself, “How can I remove, decrease, or delegate these distractions to a better time if at all?

Keep it Nice and Simple

Getting work done that really matters consists of simply doing the right thing the right way over a sustained period of time. And the best way for you to gain clarity on those steps is to first create an environment where it’s hard to fail.

Strip away the distractions, heighten your focus, and get to work.

Some Goals Can Come at Too High a Cost

The first day I arrived in New York City to attend grad school I cried like a little baby. I was convinced I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. Thankfully, just a week later I came to my senses. I was studying the one thing I wanted to do in the greatest city in the world. It was an opportunity I was not going to squander.

My alarm would go off just a little past 5:00 am before I’d slip on my winter coat and make my to the theater. I’d write my name in big easy to read letters on the theater’s sign-in sheet then tiptoe past a sleeping guard to avoid an argument.

“Why do you need to be here so early?” they’d ask.

“I have work to do,” I’d say.

For the next 3 and half hours I worked on monologues, improving my diction, and studied the previous day’s notes. I’d put in nearly an entire day’s of work before class even started. And in my obsessive pursuit of becoming the best actor I could be my determination reaped many rewards but left me bankrupt in what I call the “big picture” arenas of life.

I often chose solitude over community and competition over collaboration. I kept the love and affection of those who loved me most at bay and never honored my victories. I prided myself on not being satisfied and spoke to myself in ways I wouldn’t dream of speaking to another human being. There was no self-love, kindness, or compassion for myself. As a result, it became increasingly difficult to look beyond my own needs.

I was a one-dimensional person.

It took the failure of my romantic relationship and being dropped by an agent to wake me from my stupor. It ended up taking 4 years in total to figure out there was more to life than the perfect headshot.

By the time I’d reached my second full year as a professional actor I’d become so sick of hearing my own voice I desperately sought ways to amplify the ones of others. I started volunteering with high schools, homeless organizations, and even orphanages on the other side of the world.

I spent time with former gang members, kids who didn’t know where their next meal was coming from, and teenagers desperately trying to navigate through adolescence. In the process, I learned far more from them than they did from me.

They taught me there will always be someone who needs help. That love is the only indispensable currency. And the best way to put your own woes into perspective is to try and mitigate those of others.

I wasn’t denting the universe but by making the effort to be of service in some small way I discovered happiness is not a byproduct of professional achievement, but rather pursuing an existence of meaning. And you can’t do that without a sense of service to something greater than yourself.

I also learned that success is all relative. You can make millions of dollars a year, win all the highest awards, but if the people you love don’t know as much all the green paper and crystal trophies in the world don’t mean a thing. You can be rich and still be spiritually bankrupt.

And that ain’t success.

The key is to fill your life with as many meaningful relationships, experiences, and worthwhile endeavors that allow you to mitigate future regret. To seek platforms that test how good you can be, while taking the time to pat your self on the back for a job well done.

But most importantly, it’s about keeping perspective and gauging the risk versus reward ratio. Be honest with what you want and go after it, while making sure it doesn’t come at too high of an emotion and spiritual cost.

Attainment of our goals should be about lifting others up rather than leaving them behind. About BECOMING more instead of merely gaining more.

The Power of Praising Process Instead of Intelligence

Self-Esteem

Professor of Psychology at Stanford and author of the transformational book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck, notes the following about self-esteem:

"Self esteem is not something you give to people by telling them about their high intelligence. It is something we equip them to get for themselves by teaching them to value learning over the appearance of smartness, to relish challenge and effort, and to use errors to routes of mastery." 

Dweck's point is that too many of us put far too high a premium on the importance of appearing intelligent. We take it personally when our intuition is challenged and as result many destructive byproducts can ensue: 

1. We become isolated

2. We cling to bad ideas 

3. We overlook the importance of collaboration and vulnerability

Fixed Mindset versus Growth Mindset

Feeling inadequate, especially intellectually, triggers a reaction. But the good news is if you have a growth mindset you run to challenges, while those with a fixed mindset flee from them. Even worse, we seek someone we deem to be better than in order to boost our own self-esteem. Dweck notes how this wasn't always the case: 

"We invented as a western modern culture the idea of stupid. Stupid did not exist in the wild. You learned your skills, they worked or they didn't work before you made the appropriate corrections. We invented the idea of intelligence that gets measured by your success and failures." 

Advice for the Little Ones

Dweck has also done extensive work with children. She teaches parents to focus less on praising intellect and more on the process. Specifically, the following:

1. Hard work

2. Focus

3. Persistence

As a result of this conditioning a child begins to develop a Growth Mindset encouraging them to love challenges rather than be thwarted by them. It also helps them react better to setbacks.

A recent study tracking the mothers of 1, 2, and 3-year olds also revealed the more mothers praised process the more likely the child was to have a growth mindset and desire for challenge 5 years later.

The takeaway is if you're willing to put in the work it's never too late to go from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. 

What is Charisma?

We often associate charisma as a quality only certain people have -- The type of person who "lights up a room when she walks in."

But like a of words in our modern day vernacular, charisma is grossly misunderstood. It's less of an attribute than it is a way of living. 

People with charisma make a concerted effort to put other people first. They make it all about the person they're speaking with and make a genuine effort to get to know the person.

As a result your attention is fully placed on who they are and where they're at in life. The only reason charisma feels like such an elusive quality is because those actions are so rarely taken. 

Charisma isn't a quality. It's a type of focus.

Master that and you'll have all the charisma you need. 

If You Chase Two Rabbits You Will Not Catch Either One -- Praise for the Book, "The One Thing"

A mentor recently passed along a book that has completely reframed the way I look at focus. It's called, The One Thing and I highly recommend it. 

I've found myself underlining, highlighting, doggy-earring the countless insights and strategies that seem so obvious yet rarely practiced. Here's a very brief rundown of my takeaways so far:

1. Level up your focus.

2. Not all things matter equally.

3. You have to create a domino effect in your life -- success begets success

4. Do the right thing and then the NEXT right thing.

5. When you improve the right skill your results improve. 

6. Find the ONE thing and LIVE it. 

7. Be aware of the "The 6 Lies Between You and Success."

-- Everything Matters Equally

-- Multitasking 

-- A Disciplined Life

-- Willpower is Always on Will-Call

-- A Balanced Life

-- Big is Bad

8. "When everything feels urgent and important, everything seems equal. We become active and busy, but this doesn't actually move us any closer to success." (My number one challenge!)

9. Success isn't a game of who does the most -- be aware of to-do's that masquerade as priorities.

10. You can think BIG and still go small -- busy vs. productive.

This book will be a revelation for a lot of actors and artists because you can't compare our industry with anything else in the world. It's an incredibly a solo and sometimes lonely endeavor, success can be nebulous, and opportunities rare.

As a result, we often cling to something that will make us feel as if though we're inching closer to our dreams without taking into account its actual usefulness. 

I know I've made countless "to-do lists" over the last 10 years that often gave the elusion I was being productive, while in actuality they were just keeping me busy. 

Pick up this book and figure out how to turn your "to-do list" into a "success list." 

Happy reading!

https://www.amazon.com/ONE-Thing-Surprisingly-Extraordinary-Results/dp/1885167776/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1509656362&sr=8-1&keywords=the+one+thing

What to Do When Struggling with Your "Why"

The other night I was talking to a good friend of mine back in New York. "Have you ever felt your motivation start to fade?" he asked. "Sure," I told him. "It happens."

What I've discovered is your "why" for doing what you do will be tested, especially the longer you do something. It can happen for any number of reasons. For my friend, it was clear he'd evolved a great deal as a person and the things he valued in life had changed. He was still working hard towards a dream that didn't completely line-up with his new self. 

Sometimes we also need to take the focus off our hustle and look outside ourselves. I found that being of service to others whether as a teacher, or volunteer re-awakened the things I love to do most in life. As much as I enjoyed teaching I realized there were other ways I could best be of service. And I only came to that realization by tinkering with different platforms and trying new things. New experiences may bring to light another path worth taking or restore the one you're already on.  

A Very Good Kind of Problem

Before I went to college my dad told me there was no excuse for skipping class. “You can get a “C” just for showing up,” he said. His point was that half of success in life comes from the quality of our presence.

Kindness and gratitude will get you further than you think. When we focus on what we have it becomes difficult to come up with what we don’t.

A very good problem to have.

Priority & Poise

My schedule just had a wrench thrown in it. I'm excited to be teaching this summer but it's already left far less time for me to pursue my creative endeavors. But there may be a silver lining in all of this.

After a very long day of teacher training, I discovered I still have the time to follow through on projects of value. I just need to do two things:

1. Prioritize
2. Keep my poise

When we say we don't have time for something what we're really saying is it's not a priority. You'll move mountains to get something done if it's important enough to you. We do it every day.

Glaring at an endless to-do list can be daunting but the more we keep our poise and gradually chip away at each task, a funny thing starts to happen - it gets done. 

Conversely, when we look at the list as a whole it's easy to get overwhelmed. As a result, we often throw in the towel without even trying.

But when you break it all up into small pieces with a heightened sense of focus on each task your confidence builds and you start to see the finish line. Just don't look up too soon.

Creativity Day Planner

To the Prospective Artist: Lessons from an Unknown Actor

CREATIVITY DAY-PLANNER

One of the biggest hurdles for an actors and artists is creating a daily structure that leaves you feeling proud of the hours you put towards shaping a meaningful day of creativity. The outline below is the culmination of several years of tweaking, improving, and learning from the greats of the high performance world.

I. Develop a Morning Routine

-       Begin the day by writing down, or verbalizing 5 things you are grateful for. Our view of the world is constructed by what we focus on.

-       Read something positive for 30 minutes.

-       Carve out anywhere between 1 – 10 minutes to sit in silence and focus on your breathing. You don’t need to be a Zen master to take a few minutes of personal inventory each day.

-       Eat something healthy. The benefits are twofold: you’ll feel energized, while also doing something good for your body, mind, and capacity to focus.

AVOID AT ALL COSTS

-       Starting your day with toxic headlines. Beginning your day with news means your stepping out into the world with scenes of car chases, robberies, natural disasters, and political gridlock dancing in your head. Give yourself a chance to take on the first few hours of the day with a sense of aspiration and a little bounce in your step.

-       Checking email, texts, or social media when you first wake up. Yeah, I said it. Research shows by starting your day answering the priorities of other people instead of your own, your productivity for the week plummets more than 30 %. If possible, try to refrain from these distractions until noon. (gasp!) If that’s a challenge, try 10:00 am and work your way up.

*Tip – Try placing your laptop and phone in a different room from where you sleep. It’s easier to avoid distractions than to resist them.  

II. Jot Down Your 3 Most Important Priorities for the Day

If possible, plan these the night before. It’ll be one less thing to worry about when you begin your day freeing up time to develop and deepen the quality of your morning rituals.

-       You should have 3 M.I.P’s at most. Learn the art of prioritization practiced by the likes of Warren Buffett and Jim Collins who once said, “If you have more than 3 priorities than you have none.”

-       Below each goal list the 5 steps you must take before the day is over. Just below that, list the people you need to reach out to in order to see your tasks all the way through. Check out the example below:

1. Begin trying to get your manuscript published.

A. Buy an updated book of literary agents.

B. Begin targeting agents who specialize in my book’s genre.

C. Research what makes a good query letter.

D. Begin drafting a query letter.

E. Once the letter is complete, get feedback from at least two people.

Who I Need to Reach out to Today: Phone my editor and ask if she has any pointers, or knows some good resources on publishing.

-       Work in blocks of 50-minutes, uninterrupted. Phone goes off or on airplane mode, browsers are out of view, email and instant messenger are kept at bay.

-       After each designated block, take 10 minutes to stretch, do breathing exercises, run to the rest room, or grab a snack.

III. “Cashing Out”

-       The quality with which you end your days will play a role in how you begin the next. Close out the day by committing to NO screens 50 minutes before bed. It just takes practice.

-       Journal. Jot down 3 things you’re grateful for and any discoveries/insights you gained throughout the day.

-       Hit the hay. Rinse and repeat.