A Very Good Kind of Problem

Before I went to college my dad told me there was no excuse for skipping class. “You can get a “C” just for showing up,” he said. His point was that half of success in life comes from the quality of our presence.

Kindness and gratitude will get you further than you think. When we focus on what we have it becomes difficult to come up with what we don’t.

A very good problem to have.

It's Hard But It's Worth It

This morning I spoke to a close friend of mine back in New York. She was very stressed out about all the things she had to do before staging her play this summer. "I need to find someone to do the lighting, the right actors, and of course, I have to raise all this money so I can pay everyone. I'm really worried," she told me.

"Calm down," I said. "You're exactly where you're supposed to be. Everyone that puts on a play, or shoots a film wrestles with the same issues. That's one of the reasons why it's such an extraordinary accomplishment once you get it done."

She agreed and after a few minutes took comfort in the knowing she was in good company. "I'd be more worried if there were no hiccups," I added. She laughed. 

What we do is meaningful and if done well can forever change the way we think, feel, and interact. It is for those exact same reasons that it is so difficult to pull off.

But the ones who push through that adversity have a special opportunity to share their voice, while bringing people together. 

It's hard but it's worth it. Go forth. 

STIMULUS + THOUGHT = REACTION

This afternoon I was driving down a busy street in my hometown. The car ahead of me swerved around a truck parked near the side of the road. Just then the gentlemen driving the car in the left lane slammed on his breaks. From where I was sitting, the two weren't anywhere close to colliding.

The car on the right then retaliated by cutting him off. They sped up and off in the distance I could see the cat and mouse game went on for quite some time. That looks so ridiculous, I thought to myself. Two grown adults acting out.

It then dawned on me that I have absolutely partaken in similar behavior. I wondered how many times I would have refrained from doing, or saying something stupid if I had the ability to look outside myself.  

What's interesting is we actually do. It just requires restraint and a little recalibration. When something occurs we tend to instantly react. STIMULUS = RESPONSE. 

But when we slow that process down and interrupt it with a thought we have the capacity to make a better decision. It looks more like this:

STIMULUS + THOUGH = REACTION

We can do this by collecting ourselves when someone cuts us off, says something unsettling, or an event fails to go the way we hoped. 

In other words, we can choose the way we react to our environment.  

IBD's 10 Secrets to Success

Investor Business Daily has spent years analyzing leaders and successful people in all walks of life. Most have 10 traits that, when combined, can turn dreams into reality. 

1. HOW YOU THINK IS EVERYTHING. Always be positive. Think success, not failure. Beware of a negative environment.

2. DECIDE UPON YOUR TRUE DREAMS AND GOALS: Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them.

3. TAKE ACTION: Goals are nothing without action. Don't be afraid to get started. Just do it.

4. NEVER STOP LEARNING: Go back to school or read books. Get training and acquire skills.

5. BE PERSISTENT AND WORK HARD: Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up.

6. LEARN TO ANALYZE DETAILS: Get all the facts, all the input. Learn from your mistakes.

7. FOCUS YOUR TIME AND MONEY: Don't let other people or things distract you.

8. DON'T BE AFRAID TO INNOVATE; BE DIFFERENT: Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity. 

9. DEAL AND COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE EFFECTIVELY: No person is an island. Learn to understand and motivate others.

10. BE HONEST AND DEPENDABLE; TAKE RESPONSIBILITY: Otherwise number 1-9 won't matter.

Rose Petals

This morning after I parked my car on a quiet neighborhood block, I noticed an elderly woman walking down the street with a little girl. She was probably 3 years old and I gathered the woman she was walking alongside was her grandmother.

The girl stopped to adjust her shoes before getting up to catch up with the woman. Just before she reached her, a batch of roses in the front yard of a large house grabbed her attention. She stopped for a moment and stood there, mesmerized by the flowers. She reached out to touch the roses, to feel the texture of the petals in her little hand as the woman looked on. She stood their quietly watching her, not rushing the little girl, or showing the slightest sign of impatience.

I couldn’t help but think how new everything was to this child. Life had really just begun. And this woman was allowing her to take it all in. What a gift, I thought. What an extraordinary gift. 

I don’t know when I’ll have children of my own, but hope dearly that I follow her example; to never interrupt one's discovery of life early on, and then forever after.

More than One Way to Save a Life

Bigger. Better. More important. We're often conditioned, particularly in Western society, to think in terms of the next best thing. A quick glance at your iPhone touchscreen reveals it's already time to upgrade your apps and software. Didn't I just do that? I often wonder. This notion of thinking also permeates the way we view our chosen career paths.

In a previous blog entry I talked about how success is masterfully doing that which you love to do. But too often, I see people associate their vocations with their sense of self-worth. "I'm not exactly saving the world," my friend joked recently when describing his job.

Doctors in particular are held in high esteem because they do in fact save the world over and over. It just happens to be one person at a time.

But the longer I spend my life creating the more I appreciate that there are many ways to save a life, particularly through artistry.

Though a painting, a book, or a compelling performance on stage can't cure a terminal illness, it can absolutely resuscitate one's soul from a lack of inspiration. It can reconnect one with their sense of humanity however lost it may have been.

What you think, write, create, and say means something. And without realizing it, you may have already saved a life.