Build the Right Philosophy

Before I went to college my dad told me there was no excuse for skipping class. “You can get a “C” just for showing up,” he said. His point was that half of success in life comes from the quality of our presence.

We have a choice in how we show up. And the foundation is the quality of our philosophy. In shaping my own beliefs I drew from 3 main tenets:

First, your time is limited. 

Your life is flying by! Don’t waste another second making the unimportant important or falling into the trap of believing there will always be a tomorrow.

Second, if someone doesn’t understand your dreams it’s their problem not yours. 

No matter what you do, there will never be complete agreement it’s an endeavor worth pursuing. Not everyone is going to get what you’re trying to do. And that’s okay.

Third, to not fear failure. 

Without a doubt, the greatest gift being an actor has given me is having zero fear of losing. And as hokey as it sounds, learning to sidestep failure and continue to push towards your aspirations is essential. What I've learned in an industry where you're told "No," 99% of the time is failure isn't a testament to your character, self-worth, or even talent. It's just feedback; a way to assess where you are and where you need to be.

Know When to Walk Away

As a young drama student I rarely, if ever, understood the importance of walking away from a project to gain a little clarity. I'd just keep hammering away convinced some revelation would strike me as long as I continued muscling my way to a breakthrough.

One of the many great things about getting a little older is recognizing the importance of taking a step back when something isn't working. It doesn't mean it's time to give up or table a project forever but rather that you care enough about the work to bring your best, most aware self to it. 

So if something isn't working, take a step back, go and do something else. You'll be amazed at the clarity you'll bring after a little breather. Ultimately, the quality of our work hinges on the quality of our presence.

This is the Only Moment that Matters

During my second year of grad school a handful of actors in my class performed Shakespeare sonnets one evening. The assignment was optional and I remember being surprised by how few wanted to do it. Shakespeare felt daunting for a lot of us but I still thought it'd be worth doing even though I was petrified.

I sat in the front row before my performance repeating the words, "This is me," over and over. I must have looked like a mad man to the 10 or so people in the audience. But the words had a calming affect on me. They centered me and reminded me that all that mattered was the moment I was in.

The weeks before one of my most important mentors had been harping on society's inability to be present. We focus on what was, or what one must do in the future and rarely take the time to acknowledge what is happening before us.

Her argument was, presence is the foundation for truthful storytelling. If we don't listen we can't respond. If we can't respond authentically to what is happening right before us the audience tunes out refusing to invest in the actor's artifice.

Admittedly, I've lost touch with that idea over the years. Not always. But from time to time I've felt myself saying, "Go, go, go," rather than "Here, here, here." But those moments I do check back in (which I'm trying to do a great deal more of) are the only truthful moments of my day. 

To check-in with yourself and really take personal inventory of how you're feeling is the most important thing you can do. It's the foundation from which everything else originates. To remind yourself that, THIS is the only moment that matters.

I'd even take my mentor's philosophy that presence is the not only the foundation for truthful storytelling but also for the most authentic of human experiences. 

You Can Get a "C" Just for Showing Up

Before I went to college my dad told me there was no excuse for skipping class. “You can get a “C” just for showing up,” he said. His point was that half of success in life comes from the quality of our presence. Kindness and gratitude will get you further than you think. When we focus on what we have it becomes difficult to come up with what we don’t.

I had plenty of examples in my personal life of people who embodied that very spirit. People like my friend Dan, who’d lost both of his parents by the age of 20, yet still found a way to thrive as an orthapaedic surgeon. Instead of using his setbacks as an excuse to retreat he dug his heels in and used those challenges to develop a sense of grit and fortitude that got him into the top medical school in the country.

He taught me we get to choose how we show up in life and that the quality of our contributions begins with the quality of our philosophy - that problems are only meant to test our resolve and be reframed into opportunities; if not over the wall then under. If not under then around. And in time, with enough trial and error, we may even discover we’ve been climbing the wrong wall to begin with.

A Very Good Kind of Problem

Before I went to college my dad told me there was no excuse for skipping class. “You can get a “C” just for showing up,” he said. His point was that half of success in life comes from the quality of our presence.

Kindness and gratitude will get you further than you think. When we focus on what we have it becomes difficult to come up with what we don’t.

A very good problem to have.