Build the Right Philosophy

Before I went to college my dad told me there was no excuse for skipping class. “You can get a “C” just for showing up,” he said. His point was that half of success in life comes from the quality of our presence.

We have a choice in how we show up. And the foundation is the quality of our philosophy. In shaping my own beliefs I drew from 3 main tenets:

First, your time is limited. 

Your life is flying by! Don’t waste another second making the unimportant important or falling into the trap of believing there will always be a tomorrow.

Second, if someone doesn’t understand your dreams it’s their problem not yours. 

No matter what you do, there will never be complete agreement it’s an endeavor worth pursuing. Not everyone is going to get what you’re trying to do. And that’s okay.

Third, to not fear failure. 

Without a doubt, the greatest gift being an actor has given me is having zero fear of losing. And as hokey as it sounds, learning to sidestep failure and continue to push towards your aspirations is essential. What I've learned in an industry where you're told "No," 99% of the time is failure isn't a testament to your character, self-worth, or even talent. It's just feedback; a way to assess where you are and where you need to be.

You Can Get a "C" Just for Showing Up

Before I went to college my dad told me there was no excuse for skipping class. “You can get a “C” just for showing up,” he said. His point was that half of success in life comes from the quality of our presence. Kindness and gratitude will get you further than you think. When we focus on what we have it becomes difficult to come up with what we don’t.

I had plenty of examples in my personal life of people who embodied that very spirit. People like my friend Dan, who’d lost both of his parents by the age of 20, yet still found a way to thrive as an orthapaedic surgeon. Instead of using his setbacks as an excuse to retreat he dug his heels in and used those challenges to develop a sense of grit and fortitude that got him into the top medical school in the country.

He taught me we get to choose how we show up in life and that the quality of our contributions begins with the quality of our philosophy - that problems are only meant to test our resolve and be reframed into opportunities; if not over the wall then under. If not under then around. And in time, with enough trial and error, we may even discover we’ve been climbing the wrong wall to begin with.

What Fishing with a WWII Vet Taught Me

I can’t remember who organized a fishing trip with Noonie and me one summer afternoon. I was just a few years out of college and hadn’t really spoken to our old neighbors since my family had moved. Yet, here we were out on the reservoir fishing together.

To say Noonie was a man of few words would be a profound understatement. Like many men of his generation, he spoke only when he had something worth saying. Something I've grown to appreciate as I get older.

                 

As the two of us sat in the boat I noticed Noonie gazing out on the calm surface of the water. It was peaceful and I felt lucky to be spending time with someone whose example I had grown to admire. 

Unexpectedly, he broke the silence and started talking about his time in the Navy during World War II.  “We were so young. We didn’t know what was going to happen. It was scary at times. I hated most of it to be honest. But you know, it’s funny, I look back now and it was probably the best time of my life.” Then he drifted off and didn’t say another word for the rest of the day.

I realized two things that day. First, life is about relationships. Knowing you have a support system that will listen to your concerns, understand your doubts, and lend a hand when you’re in need is always important.

And second, someday we may regret the moments we spent so much time trying to speed through. It’s easy to enjoy the ups, be grateful the downs have passed, but most of living is in the middle. It takes a little more effort, but since we spend so much time there, it’s well worth learning to appreciate.