What a Mud Fight Taught Me

One November day during my senior year of high school I was sent home by the principal for the first time in my life. I'd played a practical joke on my buddy Alex earlier in the day and didn't realize he had been plotting for most of lunch period on how to get me back.

For anyone who knows Northern California well, you're familiar with our rainy season. This particular winter it had rained a decent amount so the grass on the quad was quite muddy. Seniors who normally sought to take full advantage of the upperclassmen privilege of eating outside were forced to dwell among mere mortals in the cafeteria.

As I made my to class I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was my friend Paul who stood roughly 6 feet tall and outweighed me by at least 80 pounds. He grip was firm and it was clear he wanted me to stay put. Moments later Alex came from behind tackling me to the ground, pummeling my head right into a giant puddle of mud. The two of us were soon entangled in an all out mud fight. Within minutes the entire school had gathered around the quad to watch.

Not long into our friendly tussle, our principal stormed out. "Alex and Nick, in my office now! What made the episode most troubling to him was that Alex and I were the president and vice-president of the student body. "If this is your idea of student leadership you guys are through!" he said.

There we were, standing before the dean absolutely caked in mud, who thankfully had a sense of humor, or perhaps pity about it all. "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is he wants you off student council. The good news is you can go home early."

After Thanksgiving break our principal had time to cool down and told us we could stay on student council as long as we made a more concerted effort to lead by example. Of course, we obliged.

A few days later I was called into Father Malo's classroom. He was a remarkable teacher and his teachings have stuck with me to this day. He taught a class called, Living and Dying and loved the movie, Dead Poets Society with the late great Robin Williams. What spoke to him about the film was the expression English teacher John Keating inspired his students to live by: Carpe Diem. Latin for "Seize the day."

As Father Malo wrapped up speaking to a student he pulled me aside and said, "Nick, I heard about what you and Alex did. And I want you to know I don't condone it but I also don't condemn it. Whatever it was that compelled you to do that -- to play in the mud without a care, don't ever lose that." He pointed straight to my heart for further emphasis.

I learned that when it comes to matters of the heart one must be bold but not reckless, and protect their youthful spirit at all costs. 

Amazing what you can learn from a little scuffle in the mud.

Know When to Walk Away

As a young drama student I rarely, if ever, understood the importance of walking away from a project to gain a little clarity. I'd just keep hammering away convinced some revelation would strike me as long as I continued muscling my way to a breakthrough.

One of the many great things about getting a little older is recognizing the importance of taking a step back when something isn't working. It doesn't mean it's time to give up or table a project forever but rather that you care enough about the work to bring your best, most aware self to it. 

So if something isn't working, take a step back, go and do something else. You'll be amazed at the clarity you'll bring after a little breather. Ultimately, the quality of our work hinges on the quality of our presence.

Community Versus Competition

Nothing gave me greater joy as a young acting student then being the first to sign my name on the check-in sheet. I'd tip toe past a sleeping guard and make my way down to the theater hours before class started. I was driven by the need to be the hardest working actor in my class. Unfortunately, it came at a great cost.

I pushed away people who cared about me and often sought competition over community. It wasn't until I grew older that I realized my time could have been used far more productively by supporting my classmates.

This industry is already so challenging we need to work on being less fragmented by focusing on our shared bond as storytellers and creators. Your success does not need to come at the expense of someone else's failure. There is enough of the pie for all of us. And when we lift one another up we ultimately do the same for our self.

Be good. Do good. Support one another.

Bring It

Years ago when I was in theater school there was a kid I admired a couple years above me. He had a great work ethic and was a fully committed student and actor. On more than one occasion I'd ask him for advice about a project I was working on and how to best navigate through the challenges of school.

A few weeks into his final year he was the lead in his class's thesis project. I couldn't believe the production value and the extraordinary work he'd put into his character. As a result, my heart sank when I sat in that virtually empty theater. It seemed no one had gotten the memo on great the play was.

I asked him afterwards how he coped with putting so much effort into something only to see an empty house.

"You just have to bring it like it's packed," he said without hesitation. "You always do your best."

This advice would serve me as I got older. Like many people, I found myself getting hung up on numbers. How many people came to a play, the number of people who watched a particular program I might have been on, and on and on. For some reason, I thought quantity meant value.

The truth is you have to dig deep within and trust that YOUR belief in your message will be enough. If there are hundreds, thousands, possibly even millions who end up reading your message and being influenced that's an amazing byproduct, but not the end goal.

Focus on giving value first. And no matter the audience, take a note from the Ancient Greeks who believed their words held up the pillars of the universe when they were on stage. If they did not speak with enough vigor, conviction, and passion the foundation would fall and the universe would collapse. 

No matter where you are remember to bring it.

Invest

Yesterday afternoon, I interviewed an old friend for the, To the Prospective Artist: Lessons from an Unknown Actor podcast. 

https://soundcloud.com/hy9btjy0cxsu/to-the-prospective-artist-interview-with-a-young-actor-reynaldo-piniella

I'd known Reynaldo since he was just a kid at 19 years old. Yet, he always exuded a poise that was not common among most of his colleagues. I certainly didn't possess it when I was his age.

I wanted listeners to gather insights and apply the lessons he'd learned during his journey as an actor over the past 8 years. What I realized while listening to Reynaldo's wise insights and discoveries was he got to where he is by investing in his education. 

He spoke about how building community, pursuing hobbies outside of acting, and traveling had played important roles in his development as a person and not surprisingly as a more compelling storyteller. The student had truly become the teacher. 

Invest in your education then pass on what you know.