Know When to Walk Away

As a young drama student I rarely, if ever, understood the importance of walking away from a project to gain a little clarity. I'd just keep hammering away convinced some revelation would strike me as long as I continued muscling my way to a breakthrough.

One of the many great things about getting a little older is recognizing the importance of taking a step back when something isn't working. It doesn't mean it's time to give up or table a project forever but rather that you care enough about the work to bring your best, most aware self to it. 

So if something isn't working, take a step back, go and do something else. You'll be amazed at the clarity you'll bring after a little breather. Ultimately, the quality of our work hinges on the quality of our presence.

High School Class that Changed My Life

During my senior year in high school I took a class called, "Living and Dying." The course was taught by a terrific teacher and an influential mentor. "I'm going to die young," he began the class by saying. "I know it." Only he didn't say it in some morbid or ominous way. He was trying to get our 17-year old minds to understand our time on earth is finite. We all hope to live for many, many years but the trick is to live like we're not guaranteed tomorrow.

Yesterday, as I sat in a coffee shop shortly before meeting a good friend, I overheard a couple of friends who'd run into one another. "How you doing?" one asked. "Hey, one day closer to Friday."

Coincidentally, that was another one of the lessons I took away from my "Living and Dying" class. "Don't jus try to get through the week," our teacher told us. "Those days you're trying to speed through are all part of your life."

When we live with greater intentionality and an understanding that someday we'll miss the very moments we were trying to blow past, we'll grow to appreciate that life is simply all those little moments added up. 

You Can't Be All Things to All People

As a young actor I wanted to please everyone. I thought I could be all things to all people. Not only was it incredibly exhausting but impossible. 

When you try to be a crowd pleaser you end up compromising your credibility and sense of integrity. You also lose touch with what is important to you because you spend all your time and resources trying to appeal to other people.

Instead, focus your energy on crafting the message you want to share with the world. Once you do that you won't be easily discouraged by the people who will inevitably not support your vision. You'll be too busy creating community with those who do, while strengthening and refining your own unique voice. 

Find Someone Who Only Believes in Possibility

If you're ever in need of inspiration get around someone young. I recently started working with a 22-year old actor from Los Angeles who has infused a new sense of energy into, To the Prospective Artist movement.

His excitement and enthusiasm for the mission to help actors and artists live bold lives "off-stage, full of new experiences, relationships, and people has been a real inspiration to me.

There is just something about having everything out in front of you than can't be fabricated. There's a joy and belief that anything is possible that accompanies youth and though we can protect that sensibility as we get older, being around someone who only sees how an idea will thrive is pretty special.

There's Nothing Wrong with You

When I was a young actor in drama school there was NOTHING I could see myself doing other than telling stories the rest of my life. I was convinced I'd change the world over with a compelling monologue or screen performance.

As I got older, I began to feel a sense of doubt, a shift in what I valued. I still loved acting, but it occurred to me there were also passions, pursuits, and people worth my time that had nothing to do with a camera or stage.

Of course, at first this was alarming. I felt as though my heart and conscience had betrayed me. I'd spent years and years honing a craft, reading hundreds of plays and screenplays, and carved out a nice little identity as a "serious actor." What would happen to those efforts? That sense of being? If I wasn't an actor then who was I exactly?

What I discovered is that we are all many things. Being an actor didn't define me. I was also a son, a brother, a friend, a traveler, and citizen of the world. And I didn't have to abandon my love of acting just because it may not always be my sole focal point. 

As a result, I allowed other opportunities to come into my life, which infused my being with a deeper understanding of self and even made me a better actor.

Don't freak out if the things you want change over time. There's nothing wrong with you. Promise.

You're growing and allowing yourself to flow with the inevitable force known as change rather than resisting it and the possibilities it may bring.

Letter to a Young Actor

Hey Ross,

Really great speaking with you today my friend. Always good catching up. I just wanted to reiterate how important I think it is to enjoy the moment you're in. Of course, it's always important to do as much, but looking back when I was your age just a few years removed from grad school, I now realize what a remarkable time it was despite what seemed at the time to be insurmountable odds.

When I first graduated from Columbia University almost 7 years ago now, I had the great fortune of being courted by top agents like Abrams and William Morris. I was being called in by all the big casting directors and auditioning for major roles on TV and some interesting pilots. It was an exciting time. 

I was also going through a great deal of personal challenges. I had just left a program that I was in love with and ended a relationship with a girl I loved even more. It took me a long time to get my footing. Still, I kept busy and often didn't even have time to consider the whirlwind I was on.

Despite often carrying a heavy heart and an equally burdensome sense of self-doubt, I forced myself to interact with the world. I stayed as productive as I could trying new things, meeting new folks, and stretching myself. I wrote even if poorly. I got involved with tiny theater companies even if I wouldn't want to be caught dead on some of the stages. I read incessantly about everything from acting to science, to politics, to history. It was a very introspective time and when I look back on it, an incredibly important turning point in my own personal development.

I started to make new friends and move away from some of the ones I had maybe used as a crutch in graduate school. I picked myself up and began dating again, sometimes with people I had nothing in common with but still felt it important. I was hungry for exploration in every conceivable corner of New York, the world, and even my mind; wherever and whenever I could find it responsibly was what motivated me.  

Soon, it became far less about acting then it did about living fully, honestly, openly, and inquisitively. It became about asking more questions of the world and subsequently myself, while being okay with not getting the answer I wanted to hear or often any at all.

When I look back on that time I cannot help but smile. It was a remarkable time. It was profoundly painful, confusing, funny, joyous, difficult, victorious, frustrating, beautiful, sad, and dare I say glorious. Half the time I didn't even know what I was doing even when I was convinced that I did. 

My point is the world is unpredictable and often particularly fragile to the temperament of an artist. We take things more personally, we refuse to wear our heart anywhere but on our sleeves, and we want for whatever crazy reason to share our lives on stage, in front of the camera, and through our voices. None of this is normal. 

But what is normal and universal is the human condition. Nurture it with as many valuable experiences as possible. Don't be afraid to fail big because you will. Don't be afraid to have your heart broken because you will. Don't be afraid to feel like nothing you're doing is working because it often won't. Don't be afraid to not know. In fact, embrace it. I once heard it said, "Knowing everything is the enemy of the human spirit." And to completely contradict all of that advice, don't be afraid to be afraid.

I encourage you to challenge yourself as an actor, but far more importantly in ways that will slowly inch you towards the man you dream of becoming despite it being impossible. It is the pursuit of that goal which is the entire point. Put yourself out there as much as possible. I think the greatest tragedy would be to look back and not say, "I wish I became a movie star, or a Broadway star, or even famous." No, I think the greatest tragedy would actually be looking back and saying, "Damn, I wish I enjoyed all of that a little more. I wish I had more fun."   

In the words of Robert DeNiro, one of my heroes, "Be brave, but not reckless." Be young, be free, be life. I believe in you brother and wish you great luck now and beyond.

Best,

Nick

Excerpt from the book, To the Prospective Artist: Lessons from an Unknown Actor 

True Success

Like many young actors, I had a very conventional notion of what success looked like. It meant gracing the covers of magazines, being recognized on the street, and winning awards.

As I got further and further into my career I met artists of all mediums who had experienced few, if any of those things. Yet, they were remarkably talented and made what I thought to be incredibly important contributions to their craft. To me, they were true superstars.

In time, I learned true success is masterfully doing what you love to do and sharing it with others.