With Action Comes an Awakening to Your Potential

A friend of mine met his girlfriend after he finally decided to take initiative with his dating life and sign-up for a matching site. Only, he didn't meet her online. He met her while getting a haircut.

Another friend received the opportunity to travel to South Africa for a youth enrichment program after doing terrific work in a school production.

What's my point? When you take initiative and put out an energy of collaboration, flexibility, and an availability to possibilities, good things begin to take shape.

And though the opportunities that come along may not be in exact alignment with what you'd hoped, you may end up taking a path you didn't foresee, but also turns out to be better.

Square Peg into a Round Hole

Stephen Hawking once noted, "Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change." A poignant observation from a very intelligent man. 

I arrived back in New York City yesterday after several months away. One of the most exhilarating times of my life was moving here to attend drama school many years ago. Everything was out in front and the possibilities seemed limitless.

For a long time, each time I returned I tried to recreate that experience - that same feeling. But as I've gotten older I've realized how important it is to move forward with the times. 

People change, cities change, and our relationships to everything evolves over time. Trying to hold on to the past is like forcing a square peg into a round hole. It just doesn't work that way.

The beauty of all this change, as scary as it might be, is it allows for growth as long as we're open to it. The shininess might have worn off, but there's also great value in having a little life under your belt and applying what you've learned. 

Of course, lending a hand along the way to those traveling the path you once trotted is also deeply rewarding. 

Do it Because You Want to

Yesterday afternoon I caught up with a close friend of mine over the phone. Hard to believe we met nearly 10 years ago during a summer training program at the Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis.

Over the summer he played the lead role in a feature film that received a reasonable amount of press. The movie even screened at Village Cinema on 2nd Avenue in front of a supportive group of friends and family. I was sure the film would be a major turning point in my friend's career. 

"Has the film led to newer and bigger opportunities?" I finally asked. He paused before admitting, "Not really." I could feel his frustration through the phone. 

It was a stark reminder that we can hope a project will bring us more opportunities but the foundation must be a belief and love in doing it.

Making a feature length film for instance is so difficult that if one's primary objective in making it is to build contacts or advance a career it's more likely to fail. 

If however, you are deeply committed to telling a story, or seeing a project through because you believe in its importance and the BYPRODUCT happens to be greater connections and broader possibilities that's something completely different.

First, do it because it matters to you. Whatever happens after that should come a distant second.

There's Nothing Wrong with You

When I was a young actor in drama school there was NOTHING I could see myself doing other than telling stories the rest of my life. I was convinced I'd change the world over with a compelling monologue or screen performance.

As I got older, I began to feel a sense of doubt, a shift in what I valued. I still loved acting, but it occurred to me there were also passions, pursuits, and people worth my time that had nothing to do with a camera or stage.

Of course, at first this was alarming. I felt as though my heart and conscience had betrayed me. I'd spent years and years honing a craft, reading hundreds of plays and screenplays, and carved out a nice little identity as a "serious actor." What would happen to those efforts? That sense of being? If I wasn't an actor then who was I exactly?

What I discovered is that we are all many things. Being an actor didn't define me. I was also a son, a brother, a friend, a traveler, and citizen of the world. And I didn't have to abandon my love of acting just because it may not always be my sole focal point. 

As a result, I allowed other opportunities to come into my life, which infused my being with a deeper understanding of self and even made me a better actor.

Don't freak out if the things you want change over time. There's nothing wrong with you. Promise.

You're growing and allowing yourself to flow with the inevitable force known as change rather than resisting it and the possibilities it may bring.