Capacity for Growth

Your capacity for growth is in direct proportion to your desire for growth. I love what Irish poet, John O'Donohue says about the importance of devotedly interacting with each of our days.

"When you are faithful to the risk and ambivalence of growth, you are engaging with life."

He goes on to say the soul loves risk. 

The only way we grow is by first understanding the need to. To strive towards our vision of the world rather then merely keep it tucked away in the chambers of our soul where it never rises above theory.

The 6 Truths of Making a Big Decision

1. There is power in making a decision.

2. It takes courage to make a choice and stand by it.

3. Not making a decision is still making a decision. 

4. Change is inevitable but growth is not.

5. The key to growth is the ability to move forward.

6. Nobody can tell you when it is time to move on to the next chapter of your life.  You will know when you know.

Just Ride it Out - It'll Pass

Ever feel like you're having one of those days, weeks, or even months where you're just coasting? Work is going well, your personal relationships are on point, and your thought process is clear and forward-thinking. It's almost as if nothing can stop you. 

Then out of nowhere, someone says something off-putting, you catch a distressing headline, or something you've wrestled with in the past comes bubbling back up to the surface. You've suddenly taken two steps back.

Though we may strive for happiness, true character is cultivated through hardships and setbacks. You wouldn't enjoy those moments of joy if you weren't equally versed in adversity and pain. 

When those moments come up we can take solace in the knowing they're an integral part of growth. Just like joy, struggle is fleeting, a fickle guests who rarely outstays her welcome. 

Moments of frustration, paralysis, and pain will pass so it's important to keep our poise knowing we'll somehow come out better off if we're willing to.

There is No One Way

If you think you’ve found "the way," chances are you haven't. I believe the key to growth, personal fulfillment, and living a life of value means be open to constant experimentation.

No single method is the right one, and what works for you may not work for someone else. Even when you've stumbled upon an ideology, or method of thinking that compliments your life it will hopefully evolve over time just as you should.

Add a Little Bit of This...

If you find that the way you spend your time lacks challenge, growth, and creativity you may need to reevaluate, or even redefine what is you want for yourself. Your “why” will be your North Star, particularly when challenges present themselves.  

Your reason for doing what you do must be compelling and specific. Once it has been revealed it will prove indispensable. When your “why” and behavior are aligned then you’re really cooking. Add an unyielding work ethic and there is little out of reach. 

Follow Those Ahead, Lead Those Behind

Yesterday was sort of an impromptu "Mentor Day." First, I met with a teacher that had a very important influence on my life when I first got out of graduate school. Over the years we've remained close even catching a Brooklyn Cyclones game a few summers ago. He'd check in from time to time to see how I was doing and ask if he could help in any of my pursuits.

Later that day, I went to see the performance of a young man who was just 18 when we first me at The Flea, an off-off Broadway theater company in Tribeca. 

(The show by the way is, The Skin of Our Teeth currently playing at Theatre for a New Audience in Brooklyn. Check it out if you get the chance!)

http://www.tfana.org/1617season/skin-teeth/tickets

After the performance I waited for him in the lobby and he asked if I had time for a quick drink. 

His manager was waiting for him as well and he promptly introduced me as his "mentor." I have to say it meant a great deal.

As we sat at a trendy bar adjacent to the theater peering out the window he told me how he was now the "older guy" in the play. There were actors even younger than him that had sought his advice during the play's run on more than one occasion. "It's really weird that I'm the guy helping other people now," he admitted. "I'm sure you're great," I told him.

As I left my mentor on the corner of 115th and Columbia he thanked me for an email I'd written him earlier in the week. "I'm not sure I deserved all of that," he said. I credited him for his mentorship and how it played a significant role in me finally publishing my book, speaking at TEDx, and even shaping the man I've slowly become.

Similarly, I felt I didn't deserve the acknowledgement when my friend gave me credit for much of his success.

But that night when I headed towards the 3 train back to Manhattan I realized someone will always know something you don't offering an opportunity for growth and learning. What is important is to pass on what you've learned.

Seek and follow the wisdom of those ahead and lead those behind you leaving bits and pieces of the insights you've gained.

Circle of Influence

It's great to have a strong and large circle of influence, but it's far more important to know your limits.

Knowing your limits allows you to go all in on what you do best a further maximize your growth and potential.

Information is Not Wisdom

There's a big difference between information and wisdom. We live in a time where the amount of content available at our fingertips is seemingly infinite. 

The key is what we do with that information. And just as information does not equate to wisdom, knowledge does not necessarily imply growth. 

It all comes down to focus and implementation of the lessons we learn and then measuring its effectiveness.

Square Peg into a Round Hole

Stephen Hawking once noted, "Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change." A poignant observation from a very intelligent man. 

I arrived back in New York City yesterday after several months away. One of the most exhilarating times of my life was moving here to attend drama school many years ago. Everything was out in front and the possibilities seemed limitless.

For a long time, each time I returned I tried to recreate that experience - that same feeling. But as I've gotten older I've realized how important it is to move forward with the times. 

People change, cities change, and our relationships to everything evolves over time. Trying to hold on to the past is like forcing a square peg into a round hole. It just doesn't work that way.

The beauty of all this change, as scary as it might be, is it allows for growth as long as we're open to it. The shininess might have worn off, but there's also great value in having a little life under your belt and applying what you've learned. 

Of course, lending a hand along the way to those traveling the path you once trotted is also deeply rewarding. 

Protect Your Spirit at All Costs

As you progress through your career you will likely come to a crossroads. You may suddenly struggle to find the meaning of your work, or redefine your relationship to it, and discover even your values and what you want have changed. None of theses are bad things by the way. In fact, it's often a sign of growth.

But in the midst of transition can come a sense of a weariness, even apathy. Uncertainty can influence us in funny ways.

But whatever road you decide to take or career you may pivot away from, make sure you protect your spirit at all costs. Approach any new endeavor with the same eagerness and conviction you once had when first starting out. Remember the first time you stepped on stage, shot a film, or dotted the final "i" of your screenplay.

There's no telling exactly where this fervor will lead but chances are it will be good a place.

Gratitude

One of the hardest humps for an artist to get over is not having the interest or following from others you hoped for. You feel as though you have so much to share with the world you might burst. 

If you can slightly alter the lens through which you view success and instead focus on gratitude you will gradually notice a shift in your life. Try having gratitude for:

-- having a voice
-- knowing what you want to do with your life
-- your talent
-- your creativity
-- your belief in what you do
-- your commitment to growth

And the remarkable potential your art has to change the world in some small way.

Use the Right Metrics

Last night I took a class called: Digital Marketing 101. Now, I'm a far cry from being a tech whiz, a coder, or a marketer for that matter. Hence, the reason I sat attentively in the last row of that makeshift classroom.

The instructor however was a seasoned marketer with an impressive resume that included the names of companies we're all very familiar with.

The mark of a great educator, as far as I'm concerned, is the ability to take complex ideas and break them down into bite size pieces. Thankfully, our teacher was able to that masterfully.

Towards the end of class, I followed up with a question on a topic he'd touched upon earlier in the evening. "How many companies do you think fail because they don't use the wrong metrics for success?" I asked. He smiled before admitting there were many.

It got me thinking, how many actors quit because they're not using the right metrics to gauge their success? How many of us going exclusively by what others think it means to "win?" How many of us are comparing ourselves to the rank and pulse of busy IMDB pages of those famous and not so famous?

I think we'd all get a great deal more joy out of our crafts and creative pursuits if we changed the lenses through which we viewed our achievements.

Figure out what success means to YOU and then implement the right metrics to measure growth and success.

It'll make all the difference.