"These kids really struggle with that...."

Yesterday afternoon I paid a visit to my old high school. An old mentor invited me to speak to her students on what I call, The 4 Truths of Creating Your Own Opportunities. It was an opportunity to give my upcoming TEDx Talk in Cleveland a test run.

When I entered the drama room I saw that virtually nothing had changed. The same cramped office sat in the corner, beat-up sofas lined the stage, and even the lighting was the same. It brought back some fond memories of playing drama games like, Black Widow and Zip-Zap-Zop.

Thankfully the speech seemed to resonate with the students. They asked questions afterwards and we had a great discussion on the importance of creating your own opportunities, building the right philosophy, avoiding toxic people and environments, and working hard without losing perspective. But one subject matter in particular proved to be a sensitive one. When sharing some of my successes as an actor and writer I mentioned the key was learning to fall in love with failure.

"These kids really struggle with that one," my teacher told me. "Everything needs to be perfect with these guys." I saw a few kids smile, while others offered a subtle nod of recognition. 

"It's like anything else," I said. "You have to practice it a lot before you get good at it. And once you learn not to take failure personally you'll learn to just keep moving." I also told the story of how when I was a young actor I wanted all my scenes to go perfectly when a very influential teacher took note saying, "The pursuit of perfection is merely the pursuit of vanity."

She was trying to teach me you don't learn anything when you win all the time.

Do.

"Be one of the few who do rather than the many who talk." These words stopped me in my tracks the other day as I listened to an audiobook. I took personal inventory of all the times in my life I said I'd do something only to get distracted with another project or forget my proclamation entirely. 

What I've learned, particularly in the last few years, is there is no shortage of people who claim they'll do things. There is however, a deficit who say as they do and do as they say.

I have a great empathy for this struggle and believe it comes down to the fact that people don't think they know how to get started. The truth is, you already know exactly what you need to do. The missing components are confidence and action. The first step is the simplest and hardest - beginning.

Say you want to write a novel. An ambitious goal no doubt, but far from impossible. Sit down and write one sentence. Tomorrow try and write two, even if they're awful. Just begin and stick with it. 

Soon, you'll develop a sense of consistency and once you do that good luck to anyone who tries to stop you. You will move mountains to maintain a routine if it's important enough to you. That is, if your "why" is lined with your core values.

You can get your voice out into the world, but it requires a sense of calm, concentration, and a heightened intuition that you have the capacity to create something of value, which you most certainly do. 

Here's to the Starters. 

Charity Vs.Generosity

In my TEDx Talk entitled, 6 Ways Actors and Artists Can Empower Themselves (available soon) I talked about the importance of service to others. Helping people help themselves gives integrity to your ambition and is a crash course on understanding the "Bigger Picture 101." But it's also important to appreciate that though a sense of charity and generosity are enormously important attributes there are differences.

Charity usually refers to the voluntary giving of aid, or money. It can be a real game-changer for a family, or person in need. There are a lot of terrific organizations you can donate to depending on where your passion lies. Making a monetary contribution is a very kind gesture with the potential to make a big impact.

Generosity is something else. It means you are giving yourself over to a person or cause greater than you can fully appreciate through your time, your energy, and spirit. This is quite possibly the greatest gift you can give anyone; the act of sharing the human condition without judgement, but with the broader objective of reminding someone they aren't alone.

And though you may not fully comprehend their suffering, you have enough compassion to try and mitigate it.

Protect Your Spirit at All Costs

As you progress through your career you will likely come to a crossroads. You may suddenly struggle to find the meaning of your work, or redefine your relationship to it, and discover even your values and what you want have changed. None of theses are bad things by the way. In fact, it's often a sign of growth.

But in the midst of transition can come a sense of a weariness, even apathy. Uncertainty can influence us in funny ways.

But whatever road you decide to take or career you may pivot away from, make sure you protect your spirit at all costs. Approach any new endeavor with the same eagerness and conviction you once had when first starting out. Remember the first time you stepped on stage, shot a film, or dotted the final "i" of your screenplay.

There's no telling exactly where this fervor will lead but chances are it will be good a place.

Provide Support

The other night I went to see a good friend perform in a play. "I probably can't get you comps though," she warned me. "That's okay," I said. I knew all too well how difficult it could be to get a hold of some free theater tickets.

Two weeks later I showed up as promised. After the performance, which my friend was terrific in, she insisted we meet up. I told her how great she'd been, asked questions about her experience working on the production, and her thoughts on the play's challenging themes.

She beamed as we sipped our teas in the corner of a popular college coffee shop before we bid each other farewell and headed home.

I realized a week later that just the simple act of attending her play had meant a great deal to her. It not only showed that I cared, but validated what she was doing as an artist mattered - that her voice was heard.

Take the time to support a friend's play, reading, exhibition, gallery, film, concert, or screenplay. It'll mean more than you think.