Cleveland Rocks
On December 3rd I stepped onto a stage at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio. I was the second to last speaker of the day and couldn't believe the talk I'd been rehearsing for months entitled, The 4 Truths of Creating Your Own Opportunities was finally set to be delivered.
As I looked out into a mostly millenial audience I should have took great comfort in the nodding heads and note-taking I saw just beyond the scope of the bright spotlight. But I didn't...
All I could focus on were the 5 lines I dropped in my speech. I was so distracted by the hiccup I nearly forget the 4th principle of my talk!
The experience reminded me of my days as a young acting student and my monomaniacal pursuit to be the best at any cost.
After the talk the organizers came up to me and said, "That was fantastic!"
Still, I couldn't shake the mishap. He probably says that to every speaker, I thought.
Lesson Learned
But when I returned home I was greeted by a message from a young woman in the audience that day who was so inspired by the message she posted the following note:
Today was the first TEDxCWRU event. It inspires me to be surrounded by so many influential and imaginative agents of change. One of the presenter's words resonated with me on a personal level.
"Anyone can find reasons to complain but it takes courage to focus on possibility."
We can do anything with a positive mindset. Let's build the future.
Maladaptive Perfectionism
It took someone nearly half my age to remind me I was violating my own principles in my pursuit of perfection rather than progress. And it turns out this very misguided desire to be perfect has a term. It's called maladaptive perfectionism.
Here's what author of High Performance Habits, Brendon Burchard has to say on the topic:
This is the kind of perfectionism in which you have high standards -- often a good thing -- but are always beating yourself up for any imperfection (a bad thing) This can cause such high cognitive anxiety over making mistakes that optimal performance is all but impossible. Obsessive concern over mistakes has been associated with several negative outcomes, including anxiety, low confidence, a failure orientation, and negative reactions to basic mistakes during competition.
Sound familiar?
Strive Happy
His suggestion is to strive satisfied. This by the way was one of my principles! I literally wasn't listening to my own advice!
The point is, you can be happy while striving towards your dreams. And it is NOT a form of complacency. It simply means joy can't wait for some professional achievement.
Today, let's all stop moving the goal posts back on when we'll be happy and instead make the choice to be so right NOW regardless of where we're at or what we're doing.
Showing posts with label TEDx Talk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TEDx Talk. Show all posts
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Thursday, October 26, 2017
"These kids really struggle with that...."
Yesterday afternoon I paid a visit to my old high school. An old mentor invited me to speak to her students on what I call, The 4 Truths of Creating Your Own Opportunities. It was an opportunity to give my upcoming TEDx Talk in Cleveland a test run.
When I entered the drama room I saw that virtually nothing had changed. The same cramped office sat in the corner, beat-up sofas lined the stage, and even the lighting was the same. It brought back some fond memories of playing drama games like, Black Widow and Zip-Zap-Zop.
Thankfully the speech seemed to resonate with the students. They asked questions afterwards and we had a great discussion on the importance of creating your own opportunities, building the right philosophy, avoiding toxic people and environments, and working hard without losing perspective. But one subject matter in particular proved to be a sensitive one. When sharing some of my successes as an actor and writer I mentioned the key was learning to fall in love with failure.
"These kids really struggle with that one," my teacher told me. "Everything needs to be perfect with these guys." I saw a few kids smile, while others offered a subtle nod of recognition.
"It's like anything else," I said. "You have to practice it a lot before you get good at it. And once you learn not to take failure personally you'll learn to just keep moving." I also told the story of how when I was a young actor I wanted all my scenes to go perfectly when a very influential teacher took note saying, "The pursuit of perfection is merely the pursuit of vanity."
She was trying to teach me you don't learn anything when you win all the time.
When I entered the drama room I saw that virtually nothing had changed. The same cramped office sat in the corner, beat-up sofas lined the stage, and even the lighting was the same. It brought back some fond memories of playing drama games like, Black Widow and Zip-Zap-Zop.
Thankfully the speech seemed to resonate with the students. They asked questions afterwards and we had a great discussion on the importance of creating your own opportunities, building the right philosophy, avoiding toxic people and environments, and working hard without losing perspective. But one subject matter in particular proved to be a sensitive one. When sharing some of my successes as an actor and writer I mentioned the key was learning to fall in love with failure.
"These kids really struggle with that one," my teacher told me. "Everything needs to be perfect with these guys." I saw a few kids smile, while others offered a subtle nod of recognition.
"It's like anything else," I said. "You have to practice it a lot before you get good at it. And once you learn not to take failure personally you'll learn to just keep moving." I also told the story of how when I was a young actor I wanted all my scenes to go perfectly when a very influential teacher took note saying, "The pursuit of perfection is merely the pursuit of vanity."
She was trying to teach me you don't learn anything when you win all the time.
Friday, March 24, 2017
It's All Preparation
Last night, I met up with two close friends of mine. Not only have they been incredibly supportive of my artistic endeavors over the years, but they're also incredibly inspiring people. They've worked diligently the past 5 years to launch an App for wine lovers that is soon to take off!
I explained how I was excited to offer value to as many actors and artists in the world by helping them find ways to empower themselves. "The whole mission of, "To the Prospective Artist" is to help actors, artists, and creatives live lives of artistry off-stage," I told them. "So they can enrich the quality of their work on it."
"It's a great mission," they told me. But they sensed that I had some reservations. I explained that I was so passionate about the idea but feared it would take years and years before it finally took flight. "I'm just tired of waiting," I said. "I worked 12 years toward another goal that didn't turn out exactly as planned and now I want to do this. I'm not sure if I can wait that long again."
Without hesitation they told me those 12 years brought me to this point. "Don't you see, you've been preparing for this moment all that time. All those years as an actor, writer, filmmaker, volunteer, and traveler have brought you here. You have to keep pushing because it's going to happen. Actors and artists yearn for community like everyone else. They probably need it more than anyone because it's such a solo endeavor."
I walked away taking great comfort in their words. They were right. They had after all lived it.
I realized when you set out toward any passionate endeavor you need to look at all the experiences you've had to that point as preparation. If you focus on where you've been and how it's prepared you for what you're trying to accomplish now, you're less likely to get worked up about how long it's going to take to get to where you want to be. You'll marvel at your journey, and in time, begin to appreciate it.
TEDx Talk: 6 Ways Actors and Artists Can Empower Themselves is now available. If you find the talk of value please share it with anyone you think may benefit from it. My mission is to always add as much value to all the actors, artists, and creatives committed to getting their unique voices heard. Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSAgO3sPBog
I explained how I was excited to offer value to as many actors and artists in the world by helping them find ways to empower themselves. "The whole mission of, "To the Prospective Artist" is to help actors, artists, and creatives live lives of artistry off-stage," I told them. "So they can enrich the quality of their work on it."
"It's a great mission," they told me. But they sensed that I had some reservations. I explained that I was so passionate about the idea but feared it would take years and years before it finally took flight. "I'm just tired of waiting," I said. "I worked 12 years toward another goal that didn't turn out exactly as planned and now I want to do this. I'm not sure if I can wait that long again."
Without hesitation they told me those 12 years brought me to this point. "Don't you see, you've been preparing for this moment all that time. All those years as an actor, writer, filmmaker, volunteer, and traveler have brought you here. You have to keep pushing because it's going to happen. Actors and artists yearn for community like everyone else. They probably need it more than anyone because it's such a solo endeavor."
I walked away taking great comfort in their words. They were right. They had after all lived it.
I realized when you set out toward any passionate endeavor you need to look at all the experiences you've had to that point as preparation. If you focus on where you've been and how it's prepared you for what you're trying to accomplish now, you're less likely to get worked up about how long it's going to take to get to where you want to be. You'll marvel at your journey, and in time, begin to appreciate it.
TEDx Talk: 6 Ways Actors and Artists Can Empower Themselves is now available. If you find the talk of value please share it with anyone you think may benefit from it. My mission is to always add as much value to all the actors, artists, and creatives committed to getting their unique voices heard. Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSAgO3sPBog
Saturday, March 18, 2017
Charity Vs.Generosity
In my TEDx Talk entitled, 6 Ways Actors and Artists Can Empower Themselves (available soon) I talked about the importance of service to others. Helping people help themselves gives integrity to your ambition and is a crash course on understanding the "Bigger Picture 101." But it's also important to appreciate that though a sense of charity and generosity are enormously important attributes there are differences.
Charity usually refers to the voluntary giving of aid, or money. It can be a real game-changer for a family, or person in need. There are a lot of terrific organizations you can donate to depending on where your passion lies. Making a monetary contribution is a very kind gesture with the potential to make a big impact.
Generosity is something else. It means you are giving yourself over to a person or cause greater than you can fully appreciate through your time, your energy, and spirit. This is quite possibly the greatest gift you can give anyone; the act of sharing the human condition without judgement, but with the broader objective of reminding someone they aren't alone.
And though you may not fully comprehend their suffering, you have enough compassion to try and mitigate it.
Charity usually refers to the voluntary giving of aid, or money. It can be a real game-changer for a family, or person in need. There are a lot of terrific organizations you can donate to depending on where your passion lies. Making a monetary contribution is a very kind gesture with the potential to make a big impact.
Generosity is something else. It means you are giving yourself over to a person or cause greater than you can fully appreciate through your time, your energy, and spirit. This is quite possibly the greatest gift you can give anyone; the act of sharing the human condition without judgement, but with the broader objective of reminding someone they aren't alone.
And though you may not fully comprehend their suffering, you have enough compassion to try and mitigate it.
Thursday, March 2, 2017
Sometimes All You Need is an Upgrade
The other day I went searching for a new pair of shoes for a TEDx Talk I'll be giving on Tuesday at Bergen Community College. (6 Ways Actors and Artists Can Empower Themselves in a Disempowering Industry)
The "Sale" sign in the front window was encouraging but soon I discovered most of the shoes marked down were not quite my style. The ones I seemed to be eyeing were all full price.
"How about these?" a sales clerk asked. "No thanks. I'm not crazy about the high tops," I told her.
After several minutes of aimlessly pacing back and forth I began to reconsider some of the shoes I'd just deemed "less hip." Moments before I was about to grab a pair of shoes I was less than crazy about, I spotted a pair identical to the ones I had on, just newer.
I ended up buying the shoes which were considerably cheaper than the rest and obviously more my style since I'd bought them several months before.
It dawned on me as I left the shoe store that often times we don't need a new style, or approach. We simply need to upgrade something we already possess.
To the Prospective Artist: Lessons from An Unknown Actor has been published! Be the first to pick up insights and lessons on how to live meaningfully off-stage and enrich the quality of your work on it. Available at both Amazon and Barnes & Noble bookstores!
The "Sale" sign in the front window was encouraging but soon I discovered most of the shoes marked down were not quite my style. The ones I seemed to be eyeing were all full price.
"How about these?" a sales clerk asked. "No thanks. I'm not crazy about the high tops," I told her.
After several minutes of aimlessly pacing back and forth I began to reconsider some of the shoes I'd just deemed "less hip." Moments before I was about to grab a pair of shoes I was less than crazy about, I spotted a pair identical to the ones I had on, just newer.
I ended up buying the shoes which were considerably cheaper than the rest and obviously more my style since I'd bought them several months before.
It dawned on me as I left the shoe store that often times we don't need a new style, or approach. We simply need to upgrade something we already possess.
To the Prospective Artist: Lessons from An Unknown Actor has been published! Be the first to pick up insights and lessons on how to live meaningfully off-stage and enrich the quality of your work on it. Available at both Amazon and Barnes & Noble bookstores!
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