Cleveland Rocks
On December 3rd I stepped onto a stage at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio. I was the second to last speaker of the day and couldn't believe the talk I'd been rehearsing for months entitled, The 4 Truths of Creating Your Own Opportunities was finally set to be delivered.
As I looked out into a mostly millenial audience I should have took great comfort in the nodding heads and note-taking I saw just beyond the scope of the bright spotlight. But I didn't...
All I could focus on were the 5 lines I dropped in my speech. I was so distracted by the hiccup I nearly forget the 4th principle of my talk!
The experience reminded me of my days as a young acting student and my monomaniacal pursuit to be the best at any cost.
After the talk the organizers came up to me and said, "That was fantastic!"
Still, I couldn't shake the mishap. He probably says that to every speaker, I thought.
Lesson Learned
But when I returned home I was greeted by a message from a young woman in the audience that day who was so inspired by the message she posted the following note:
Today was the first TEDxCWRU event. It inspires me to be surrounded by so many influential and imaginative agents of change. One of the presenter's words resonated with me on a personal level.
"Anyone can find reasons to complain but it takes courage to focus on possibility."
We can do anything with a positive mindset. Let's build the future.
Maladaptive Perfectionism
It took someone nearly half my age to remind me I was violating my own principles in my pursuit of perfection rather than progress. And it turns out this very misguided desire to be perfect has a term. It's called maladaptive perfectionism.
Here's what author of High Performance Habits, Brendon Burchard has to say on the topic:
This is the kind of perfectionism in which you have high standards -- often a good thing -- but are always beating yourself up for any imperfection (a bad thing) This can cause such high cognitive anxiety over making mistakes that optimal performance is all but impossible. Obsessive concern over mistakes has been associated with several negative outcomes, including anxiety, low confidence, a failure orientation, and negative reactions to basic mistakes during competition.
Sound familiar?
Strive Happy
His suggestion is to strive satisfied. This by the way was one of my principles! I literally wasn't listening to my own advice!
The point is, you can be happy while striving towards your dreams. And it is NOT a form of complacency. It simply means joy can't wait for some professional achievement.
Today, let's all stop moving the goal posts back on when we'll be happy and instead make the choice to be so right NOW regardless of where we're at or what we're doing.
Showing posts with label Cleveland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cleveland. Show all posts
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Thursday, October 26, 2017
"These kids really struggle with that...."
Yesterday afternoon I paid a visit to my old high school. An old mentor invited me to speak to her students on what I call, The 4 Truths of Creating Your Own Opportunities. It was an opportunity to give my upcoming TEDx Talk in Cleveland a test run.
When I entered the drama room I saw that virtually nothing had changed. The same cramped office sat in the corner, beat-up sofas lined the stage, and even the lighting was the same. It brought back some fond memories of playing drama games like, Black Widow and Zip-Zap-Zop.
Thankfully the speech seemed to resonate with the students. They asked questions afterwards and we had a great discussion on the importance of creating your own opportunities, building the right philosophy, avoiding toxic people and environments, and working hard without losing perspective. But one subject matter in particular proved to be a sensitive one. When sharing some of my successes as an actor and writer I mentioned the key was learning to fall in love with failure.
"These kids really struggle with that one," my teacher told me. "Everything needs to be perfect with these guys." I saw a few kids smile, while others offered a subtle nod of recognition.
"It's like anything else," I said. "You have to practice it a lot before you get good at it. And once you learn not to take failure personally you'll learn to just keep moving." I also told the story of how when I was a young actor I wanted all my scenes to go perfectly when a very influential teacher took note saying, "The pursuit of perfection is merely the pursuit of vanity."
She was trying to teach me you don't learn anything when you win all the time.
When I entered the drama room I saw that virtually nothing had changed. The same cramped office sat in the corner, beat-up sofas lined the stage, and even the lighting was the same. It brought back some fond memories of playing drama games like, Black Widow and Zip-Zap-Zop.
Thankfully the speech seemed to resonate with the students. They asked questions afterwards and we had a great discussion on the importance of creating your own opportunities, building the right philosophy, avoiding toxic people and environments, and working hard without losing perspective. But one subject matter in particular proved to be a sensitive one. When sharing some of my successes as an actor and writer I mentioned the key was learning to fall in love with failure.
"These kids really struggle with that one," my teacher told me. "Everything needs to be perfect with these guys." I saw a few kids smile, while others offered a subtle nod of recognition.
"It's like anything else," I said. "You have to practice it a lot before you get good at it. And once you learn not to take failure personally you'll learn to just keep moving." I also told the story of how when I was a young actor I wanted all my scenes to go perfectly when a very influential teacher took note saying, "The pursuit of perfection is merely the pursuit of vanity."
She was trying to teach me you don't learn anything when you win all the time.
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