The Importance of Adapting to Change

A few months back I received a text message from a buddy of mine.

“We’re down a guy. Can you fill in tonight?”

I had to think it over. There was a better than average chance my body would be mostly immobile the following day; a realization I found both humbling but mostly troubling.

About a year before packing up for The Big Apple, the sleepless metropolis where I’d hang my hat for the next 12 years, I got a few friends together and started a team in an “old man softball league.”

We were by far the youngest group of guys in the division. In fact, at that point most of us had only been on the planet for a shade over two decades.

We were a mixed bag, which made it all the more fun. Some wore their hair long, while others kept their personal lives close to the vest.

A handful of the guys seemed to already have their lives mapped out, while others drifted aimlessly, testing both time and the patience of their parents.

But every Wednesday evening all was right with the world. We’d come from various corners of the Bay Area and hike up that small hill that led to Owen Jones Field, a park nestled in the Oakland Hills where many of us spent our summers growing up.

Nothing had really changed. The infield was always devoid of love, the grass in the outfield grew wild, and I’d be hard-pressed to tell you the last time the water fountain worked.

But all things considered it was holding up okay.

“I’ll be there,” I finally texted back.

That evening I grabbed a tattered shirt and an old pair of cleats, still caked in dirt from my last outing, and threw them in the trunk of my car. I made my way to the field guided by the bright lights in outfield.

I stretched and sprinted amidst bro hugs and life summaries of old friends. Some of the players had changed but a surprising number had clung hard to what was now their only refuge from progressively busier lives.

A few looked a little more wearied than I remembered, and invariably boasted less hair and a tad more waist.

Others had taken their last at-bat years ago to tend to their own growing teams of children and better halves.

It was not lost on me that the moniker “old man softball team,” was now not so ironic.

Time I realized, is nature’s most trusted mercenary; a ninja that sneaks up and takes hold without you noticing.

And sometimes its grip is felt most in something as trivial as a softball game.

That night towards the end of the 6th inning, I rounded second base trying to stretch a double into a triple. I could hear the guys in the dugout pleading for me to hold at second, but I’d made up my mind the moment I hit the ball.

I dove head first into third narrowly missing the tag. The crowd, which is to say, the 7 or so in attendance went wild. Even the third baseman tipped his cap.

We ended up losing that game but in some perverse way, I’d won my own battle of the spirit.

The next day was different. I felt as if I’d been hit my a freight train. My legs were sore, my chest bruised, and my pride in tatters.

What was I thinking? I thought to myself.

But that lesson, however painful, ended up being a teachable moment perhaps only some makeshift “field of dreams,” could offer.

I realized change is inevitable. Sooner or later everything alters. Our bodies tell us what it can no longer do, new neighbors move in, children grow up, and even our values change.

Ten years ago I’d have been happy thumbing through plays the rest of my life. Today, I’m just as likely to reach for biography on Mandela as I am of Brando.

And I’m fine with my evolution. However painful it might have been at times, it was necessary.

What’s more, I realized adaptability is a choice because while change is inevitable, progress is not.

The key to forward mobility, of both mind and body, is to confront the difficult questions:

— Am I looking for solutions to modern day challenges?

— Am I staying open to new possibilities, or am I holding on to a method that is now obsolete?

— Am I embracing my own frailties and incompetencies, while productively employing my strengths?

Having grit, passion, and a strong work ethic is a necessity for any endeavor worth achieving. But it doesn’t mean a little personal inventory on our strengths, philosophies, and values from time to time will hurt.

Getting to that place required a heightened sense of humility, radical self-honesty, and teaching myself to view the future as an opportunity rather than a threat to what once was.

Before long, the rains will clear, the grass will be cut, and I’ll likely be getting another one of those text messages requesting my services in left field. And for better or worse, I’ll accept.

But the next time, I’ll think twice before rounding second.

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Musings on Change

Sooner or later everything falls apart – without a nudge, a wink, a warning we gradually part ways with the familiar.

Our understanding of the world and our place in it changes, and if we’re lucky, we evolve.

Still, hearts grow heavy along with our gaits, our steps loose a bounce, and if we’re not careful our spirits too can abandon their once childlike buoyancy. 

Those people you once swore could leap tall buildings in a single bound, protect you from any peril all while screaming shamelessly at the top of their lungs at Saturday morning soccer games trade capes for canes and a quieter type of life.

The sense of being becomes more peaceful, more human, more poetic.

I wonder how much time I've spent trying to piece back together what could no longer be:

youth back to old, 

sickness back to health, 

dreams into being. 

How many times did I quietly convince myself life would be different? How often did I choose solitude over community? Abandon family to saunter the narrow streets, and crooked paths the world over?

What was it I hoped to find in all my unchartered strolls? Was it purpose? Validation? Love?

Wherever I seemed to go, whether beside the roily waters of the Hudson or the placid surface of Lake Merritt, I walked and walked in desperate hope that one or the other would take me by the hand and guide me home.

Yet to feel rudderless is not always as treacherous as it may sound. Yes, the choppy waters can be merciless at times. They may throw you against jagged rocks, or leave you stranded on a desolate bank. 

But if you can weather those tempests, which you must, you'll lift your gaze ever so slightly to get a clear view of the lighthouse just beyond; a place of hope, of possibility, of what lies ahead.

It will be filled with people - the kind waiting for you to extend your hand and call on them for the love they so desperately want to give.

And when you do, it won’t matter the city, or coast where you hang your hat because the light will stretch far beyond any boundary. It will take you back the next time you feel yourself drifting.

But in turn you must also reach out, extending your own open hand to those who now need you. 

Because that day will come. 

And when it does, you'll need to be ready.

You'll need to already be home.

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If you enjoyed this article, sign up for my bi-monthly newsletter with my favorite book, film, and travel recommendations in addition to my latest articles on productivity and inspiration.

Plus, I’d love to share my free Creativity Day Planner — a simple two -page template on building good daily habits. 

Feedback Can Hold us Back from Being Great

There's a terrific interview with Impact Theory's Tom Bilyeu and writer, author, speaker Brendon Burchard. It turns out what holds many of us back from striving towards our greatest potential is the fear of feedback.

Here's a brief excerpt from their interview:

Tom: Why do you think people can slip into an obsession over Netflix or thread count but they don't do that for something that could really change their life?

Brendon: Feedback.

Tom: That's interesting. That's not what I expected you to say. What do you mean by that?

Brendon: Buying something, or getting pulled into Netflix -- being obsessed about something that gives you no feedback is not scary. A real obsession like trying to make an impact in the world you're going to get feedback. You try to make a difference in the world, you try to start a nonprofit, you try to start something like this and the views come or they don't come. There's feedback. And people are terrified. It's one of the 4 central fears we all have. If you really want to make an impact you're going to get a lot of judgement, you're going to get a lot of hate, and ultimately you're going to get a lot of rejection. People are going to diss on you, they're going to say, That's not good enough, they're going to say, Who do you think you are? and people are so worried about that they stop. And so it's easier. Watch Netflix and you don't get any feedback. It's easy. There's no disappointment there. 

Have you shied away from your greatness or chosen not to pursue ways to make an impact in the world because you're afraid it'll hurt? 

I know I have.

The key is push through your fear of ridicule, doubt, and judgement by raising the necessity of your objective. 

When what you do matters intrinsically and you know it will be of service to people other than yourself your passions morph into a sense of duty.

It's not your job to be a molder of consensus or a seeker of validation but rather your responsibility to share your gifts with those who need them most.

6 Principles that Will Make You a Better Artist

A few summers ago, I was performing in a tiny black box theater on East 4th Street. My friend Sarah and I poured our hearts into this play, rehearsing for weeks for what we thought was a sure hit. On opening night, there were three people in the audience.

Later that evening, the two of us took a heavy stroll. “What’s the point of all of this?!” I bemoaned. “We put everything we had into that show and nobody cares! Why are we doing this?”

It wasn’t until I hit spiritual rock bottom and began pursuing interests outside of acting—like traveling and serving my community—that I realized how incredibly important the work we do as actors is. The problem was my focus as an actor had been so linear that I’d failed to gain any perspective on the bigger picture.

In time, my mission shifted to helping other actors empower themselves using experiences and insights I had gained over nearly 12 years as an actor, writer, community volunteer, and world traveler. I call these lessons, “The 6 Principles,” and I’m sharing them with you today to hopefully help you come to the same realizations and revelations I did (but a lot sooner).

1. Lifelong learningFor years, I read nothing but plays and scripts. I was a one-dimensional person. In time, I realized the importance of diversifying my knowledge. I read about history, philosophy, psychology, science, finance, and leadership. The more I learned, the more I felt compelled to live a richer life. Acting alone no longer defined me and I refused to equate my self-worth with an IMDB page.

2. TravelThere’s nothing like visiting a foreign country, butI didn’t need my passport to stroll through Prospect Park or spend an afternoon wandering around the botanic gardens. Each place, near or far, offered me a chance to challenge the assumptions I held. But the greatest lesson was the importance of following my curiosity and protecting my inner tourist.

3. ServiceWhether you’re serving food at a homeless shelter or tutoring at an after school program, society works best when we all help each other out a little bit. It was while volunteering that I discovered there would always be someone who has it tougher and that helping people help themselves gives integrity to your ambition. Most importantly, helping challenged communities offered me perspective. Suddenly, not getting a callback for “Law & Order” wasn’t the end of the world.

4. Define success on your own termsThe real superstars in my life were friends with full-time jobs who still found time to sing, write, act, or play. I marveled at how they’d babysit, teach, or wait tables just so they could pursue something they loved. I learned true success is becoming great at something you love to do, and attainment of your goal is not the point but rather who you become in its pursuit. I started to recognize the accomplishments I had overlooked and realized I was already living the dream.

5. CreateThe “perfect part,” was never going to land in my lap—I needed to create it. With action came an awakening to my potential. With the remarkable technology available at my fingertips, I had no excuse to not get started. Today, all you need is a smartphone and an idea. I could get my voice out into the world and it wasn’t about the number of hits or followers I received, but the satisfaction I gained from starting and finishing something important to me.

6. Allow for changeWhat you want at 20 will be different than what you want at 40. It doesn’t mean you’ve quit a dream, it just means you’ve evolved and what you value most in life has changed. It finally dawned on me that all those years in voice, movement, and acting class had little to do with acting. Instead, we were being taught to take risks, speak our minds, be lifelong learners, and do something kind for someone else. If we were fortunate, we might become great actors along the way. The point was to be open to where life might take us.

6 + 4

6 Ways Actors and Artists Can Empower Themselves:

1. Lifelong learning

2. Travel

3. Service to others

4. Define success on your own terms

5. Create your own opportunities 

6. Understand that dreams change

The 4 Truths of Creating Your Own Opportunities:

1. Don't wait -- Begin today

2. Adopt the right philosophy

3. Avoid toxic people / environments

4. Flow rather than muscle to your goals

The 6 Truths of Making a Big Decision

1. There is power in making a decision.

2. It takes courage to make a choice and stand by it.

3. Not making a decision is still making a decision. 

4. Change is inevitable but growth is not.

5. The key to growth is the ability to move forward.

6. Nobody can tell you when it is time to move on to the next chapter of your life.  You will know when you know.

Creative Expression Matters

Today, the remarkable advances in how the world communicates has given birth to an overabundance of ways for us to share our stories.  There is a global platform that allows people everywhere to tell us who they are and what defines them.  Human rights movements have been energized on Facebook.  Millions of people hang on the 140-character thoughts of their favorite TV personality, entrepreneur, or author on Twitter.  Artists of all mediums can better publicize their work through social media resources, many of which are free.  We are living during an exceptional time of opportunity, bold ideas, and collaborative potential.  
     

If you doubt that art has played a role in this Renaissance of innovation and think that creative expression only belongs in drab black box theaters, fine art galleries, or exhibition halls, I encourage you to take a closer look.  If for example, you own a MacBook, you are the proprietor of an idea, not a product.  Many are already well versed with how a small calligraphy course at Reed College in 1974 influenced the creative vision of Steve Jobs, or how a stylized stencil image of then presidential hopeful Barack Obama conceived by street artist Shepard Fairey galvanized a call for change.  The truth is that art, which is to say the expression of imagination, has profound importance in our world.

TEDx Talk Recap: 6 Ways Actors and Artists Can Empower Themselves

Last Tuesday, I had the great fortune of speaking at a TEDx Event at Bergen Community College in New Jersey. The title of the talk was, 6 Ways Actors and Artists Can Empower themselves.

The principles of the speech are largely drawn from my book, To the Prospective Artist: Lessons from an Unknown Actor and I hope you find them of value regardless of your passion or pursuit. Here's a quick run down of the six points:

1. Continual Learning - Your education never stops. Read everything you can get your hands on, take classes, meet new people. For years I was a 1-dimensional person who could talk all day about theater and great storytelling, but soon realized I needed to know a little about a lot more. Acting eventually became what I did, but no longer defined who I was.

2. Travel - You don't have to go far. For example, you don't need your passport to wander the botanic gardens in Brooklyn, or catch the bus to City Island. Each place, near or far gives you an opportunity to meet new people and challenge the assumptions you have about them.

3. Service to Others - For anyone looking for a crash course in understanding "The Bigger Picture" service to others is your answer. Brief service stints in countries like Nepal, Haiti, and South Africa taught me there will always be someone in the world having a tougher time than you. Service to others is a great way to discover new things about yourself. Happiness, to a large degree, is a choice. And helping people help themselves gives integrity to your ambition.

4. Define Success on Your Own Terms - This means letting go of other people's definition of success. My heroes were ordinary people who worked day jobs, but still found the time to sing, write, act, or play. They taught me success is becoming great and something you love to do and attainment of your goal is not the point, but rather who you become in the process.

5. Create Your Own Opportunities - Admittedly, this one took me a LONG time to figure out. But it's very likely that phone call for the perfect part, or opportunity will never arrive so YOU need to create it. Today, all you need is a smartphone and idea. Start writing your story today through blogs, plays, films, or one-person shows. Start that business or write that book. You have more control over getting your voice out into the world than you've been led to believe. And remember, your success does not need to come at the expense of someone else's failure.

6. Dreams Change and that's Okay - What you want at 25 will be different than what you want at 45. It doesn't mean you've quit a dream. It just means you've evolved and what you value most in life is now different. I learned that all those years in voice, movement, and acting class had little to do with being an actor and more to do with living a life and not just a career. If we were fortunate we might become great actors in the process. The point was to be open to where life might take you.

I'll be sure to post the TEDx Talk in it's entirety when I can. Look for it on www.nickmaccarone.com or on YouTube. I hope you find it of value! 

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield

Tennyson’s words are a perfect mantra for any artist trying to develop a system for reaching their goals. And the more you put yourself out there the more you’ll recognize your strengths, weaknesses, and that your goals often change. 

At first, performing in little black box theaters in front of 10 or 15 people will make you happy as a clam. You'll learn a great deal about acting, make great friends, and find collaborators. 

But eventually, those same venues may not be in line with the long-term vision you have for yourself. You'll graduate to higher goals, bigger stages, and more challenging material. 

All good things. 

Fine Tuning

Change is inevitable, but progress is not. Sooner or later everything changes. Your body starts to tells you what it can no longer do, new neighbors move in, and children grow up. 

But adaptability is a choice to evolve with those changes. In the process of that change, it’s important to confront some difficult questions: 

Am I looking for solutions to modern day challenges? Am I staying open to new possibilities, or am holding on to a method that is now obsolete? 

Having grit, passion, and hard work is certainly a necessity for any endeavor worth achieving. But it doesn't mean a little fine-tuning on our strategies from time to time would hurt.

Different Kinds of Passion

It's common for the things you value in life to change as you get older. There are a variety of factors that can influence such changes: new life experiences, evolving perspectives, or a shift in priorities.

Still, much remains the same including what fuels our deepest desires and core objectives. For me, passion comes to mind.

When I was a young actor in New York I had it in spades. I'd arrive at the theater at 5:30 am ready to work before teachers and classmates sauntered into our little black box theater.

As I've gotten older, I realize that it's not that I no longer have passion, but that the role it plays in my life is at times different. In my youth of youths it was a chest-thumping, fiery, somewhat one-dimensional part of me.

Now, it can still inhabit those qualities but I find it's more grounded. Passion to me now acts as more of a compass steering me silently towards my goals.

Both work. Just differently.