A Smarter Kind of Self-Talk

A friend recently sent me an interesting study called, To Sell is Human. The piece delves into the science, ethics, and psychology of selling our services and how it's evolved over time. 

file:///Users/nickmaccarone/Downloads/To%20Sell%20is%20Human.pdf

One point in particular really resonated with me. It had to do with the different types of self-talk we can implement into our daily lives. As a young drama student, I’d arrive at the theater each morning at 5:30 am. For 10 blocks I’d pound my chest with clenched fists roaring, “Come on! You either want it or you don’t!” It was a way of amping myself up before class started.

But the study reveals there may be a more constructive way to talk to ourselves. It's called, "Interrogative Self-Talk." In fact, those who used this technique out performed those who relied on the "juice me up" style of self-talk by more than 50%. The reasons may surprise you.

First, when we ask ourselves a question we are forced to provide the answer. And often times within those answers are actionable steps we can take to carry out the task at hand. What a novel idea, right? Asking yourself a question where you then must come up with an answer has a greater influence on you than simply convincing yourself how great you are. 

I'm a great proponent of affirmations but the study also reveals one of the problems with them is you don't come up with strategies to get you closer to where you want to be. So if affirmations are your thing, no need to get rid of them. Just make sure you sprinkle in some interrogative self-talk as well.

Finally, interrogative self-talk also encourages you to consider the intrinsically motivated reasons you have for striving towards your goals. We're more compelled to take action when our "why" is driven from within, or "when the motivations come from intrinsic choices rather than extrinsic pressure."

Don't Take Advice So Literally

This morning as I was driving, an excerpt of the very large audiobook I've been listening to literally stopped me in my tracks. The book is about investing and developing a better financial IQ.

"You need to rebalance your portfolio on a regular basis," I heard the voice say. "This requires discipline."

It then dawned on me that though this was very helpful advice when it came to keeping your finances in order, it was also equally valuable insight to nearly every facet of life. Take regular inventory of what you're doing to see if it's actually working, I thought.

How many times have we taken a bit of advice from a book written by someone who claims to be an expert in a field and only applied it to that discipline? Why not cross-pollinate those big bold ideas?

Why can't the lessons from a book about finance be relevant to what you put into your body? What can science teach us about leadership? And on and on.

My take, don't take advice so literally. You might find the lessons gained from one area of expertise apply to others as well.

Read Widely

By most accounts, I was a pretty good kid growing up. I never had much interest in getting into trouble, sparing my parents a headache or two.

This is not to say I was the perfect son by any stretch. One source of great anxiety for my mom and dad was my refusal to sit still and finish a book. I'd never seen my father come so close to weeping as he tried everything short of a seance to get me to fall in love with literature.

It took some time, but their efforts paid off. Books have become something I can't live without. They also played a very important role in making me a better actor.

By reading widely I was able to consider perspectives wildly different from my own. When taking on new projects, I began to think as a playwright, director, or producer might. Characters now leaped from the page becoming three-dimensional.

Discovering more about science, history, philosophy, and current events enabled me to connect a heightened sense of humanity to the plays and scripts I read. I began to rely less on just my technical training as an actor and get more in touch with what it really meant to be human.

Books pushed, stretched, and nudged me to think bigger.

They've served me well in my pursuit to become a great storyteller and beyond.