A Smarter Kind of Self-Talk

A friend recently sent me an interesting study called, To Sell is Human. The piece delves into the science, ethics, and psychology of selling our services and how it's evolved over time. 

file:///Users/nickmaccarone/Downloads/To%20Sell%20is%20Human.pdf

One point in particular really resonated with me. It had to do with the different types of self-talk we can implement into our daily lives. As a young drama student, I’d arrive at the theater each morning at 5:30 am. For 10 blocks I’d pound my chest with clenched fists roaring, “Come on! You either want it or you don’t!” It was a way of amping myself up before class started.

But the study reveals there may be a more constructive way to talk to ourselves. It's called, "Interrogative Self-Talk." In fact, those who used this technique out performed those who relied on the "juice me up" style of self-talk by more than 50%. The reasons may surprise you.

First, when we ask ourselves a question we are forced to provide the answer. And often times within those answers are actionable steps we can take to carry out the task at hand. What a novel idea, right? Asking yourself a question where you then must come up with an answer has a greater influence on you than simply convincing yourself how great you are. 

I'm a great proponent of affirmations but the study also reveals one of the problems with them is you don't come up with strategies to get you closer to where you want to be. So if affirmations are your thing, no need to get rid of them. Just make sure you sprinkle in some interrogative self-talk as well.

Finally, interrogative self-talk also encourages you to consider the intrinsically motivated reasons you have for striving towards your goals. We're more compelled to take action when our "why" is driven from within, or "when the motivations come from intrinsic choices rather than extrinsic pressure."