Love Losing

Without a doubt, the greatest gift being an actor has given me is having zero fear of losing. And as hokey as it sounds, learning to sidestep failure and continue to push towards your aspirations is essential.

What I discovered in an industry where you’re told “No,” virtually 99 % of the time, is that failure isn’t a testament to your character, self-worth, or an accurate indicator of your talent. It’s just feedback – a way to assess where you’re at and where you need to be.

But the most important takeaway was that failure wasn’t my problem, my reaction to it was. Being told, “No, Maybe next time,” or “We’re going to pass,” used to put me in a tailspin. But the older I got the more I learned to take it in stride and incorporate those setbacks as integral parts of the longer journey.

The Beauty of Having Doubts

Doubt is an unavoidable part of a rich life.  But there's also an important distinction between having uncertainties about your career, and wanting to do something completely different with your life. The distinction is not always clear. If your deepest core still believes your dream is important then fight like hell for it. Conversely, if your heart is trying to tell you that it’s time for a new journey, I encourage you not to deny that calling. Doing so might mean closing yourself off to new and worthwhile opportunities, which may add great value to the lives of others. Remember, doubt can be an opportunity to redefine your ambitions, or recalibrate your current ones.

You can also reinvent the role art plays in your life. For example, when acting began to slowly take a less prominent role in my life I turned to other outlets such as writing and coming up with creative solutions to problems in my community. Both were forms of artistry that allowed me to express myself in equally meaningful ways. Moving on to new endeavors is less of a farewell then a different way of expressing your imagination.  Remember what Peggy Taylor said, “Creativity is not found just in the chosen few who exhibit artistic talent. 

 

Resist Being Bullied

I believe trying to talk someone out of their deepest aspirations is a form of bullying. It's a tactic of projecting fear, doubt, and bitterness on to someone with the hope they won't pursue a dream another didn't have the courage to follow themself.

Unfortunately, such opposition often comes from the people who love us most and claim to have our best interests at heart. And in fairness, maybe they believe that. I'm not suggesting you be closed off to constructive feedback but that you protect your dreams fiercely.

Whether it's the arts or some other less conventional career path, when what we do doesn't align with someone's understanding of the world they feel threatened. But if there's one thing I've learned it's that someone else's misgivings about you and your form of expression isn't your problem. 

You're going to come up against a great deal of resistance in this industry so it's crucial you surround yourself with like-minded people who support your vision, have your back, and will hold you accountable to taking action. 

Fear

We often associate remarkably successful people with being fearless. Conventional thinking argues such people are devoid of doubt, or unease when it comes to making big bold decisions in business and in life.

But by their own admission, they are afraid. Very much so. In fact, one should take great solace in knowing that having fear means you're not a sociopath.

What I've noticed in my observations of people who create meaningful projects that make an impact in their communities, the lives of people around them, and even the world is that they operate despite fear, not because of its vacancy.

Acknowledging that fear it exists and that it's okay to experience it is the first of many steps to heightened self-awareness. Once it's been acknowledged you can proceed. And if something is important enough to you chances are you will.