Would You Want to Live Forever?

My 5th graders are reading a book called, Tuck Everlasting. It explores the idea of living forever and how immortality may not be as desirable as many would think. And although it is considered a children's novel, I have to say the writing and broader themes are both poignant and relatable to adults. It's a terrific read and one I highly recommend:

https://www.amazon.com/Tuck-Everlasting-Natalie-Babbit/dp/0312369816

To get my students thinking about the question of immortality I asked, "How many of you would want to live forever?" Nearly every hand went up with the exception of a young man named, Daniel. "Dan, tell me why you wouldn't want to live forever," I asked. Without a moment's hesitation he replied, "If there was no death there'd be no point to life. You need one to fully appreciate the other. Nobody would really live if they knew they wouldn't die." 

A parent who was busy filling out an emergency contact form nearly dropped his pen. He glanced up at me clearly blown away by the young man's theory. Who is this kid? I thought. How could someone so young have such wisdom? 

They say teachers often learn more from their pupils than they from teachers. If yesterday was any indication of how the next 5 weeks will go I'll be a much wiser man by summer's end.

Tell People You're Proud of Them

The new generation of young parents gets a lot of flak for how they smother their kids. These days it's not rare for a kid to receive a deluge of praise on a regular basis. Whether or not it's earned seems beside the point, but I suspect it always comes from an earnest place.

For the past several weeks I've taught kids ages 4 - 17 how to fall in love with books and storytelling. I zig-zag across cities schlepping boxes full of books like, Where the Wild Things Are and The Fellowship of the Ring. 

What I've learned is that telling people, especially young ones, that you're proud of them matters. A lot. I've seen kids come to life at the sound of the 4 words, "I'm proud of you." Some are motivated to work even harder, others stare at me blankly as if they've never been told as much before. But they're always grateful. "Thank you, Mr. Nick," they say. And each time I offer a word or two of encouragement I can tell it was just what they needed to hear.

Don't be shy about praise. You can offer a kind word while keeping it grounded in reality. Just share a simple phrase saying you appreciate their effort and the way they show up in life. It will go a very long way.

Creative Expression Matters

Today, the remarkable advances in how the world communicates has given birth to an overabundance of ways for us to share our stories.  There is a global platform that allows people everywhere to tell us who they are and what defines them.  Human rights movements have been energized on Facebook.  Millions of people hang on the 140-character thoughts of their favorite TV personality, entrepreneur, or author on Twitter.  Artists of all mediums can better publicize their work through social media resources, many of which are free.  We are living during an exceptional time of opportunity, bold ideas, and collaborative potential.  
     

If you doubt that art has played a role in this Renaissance of innovation and think that creative expression only belongs in drab black box theaters, fine art galleries, or exhibition halls, I encourage you to take a closer look.  If for example, you own a MacBook, you are the proprietor of an idea, not a product.  Many are already well versed with how a small calligraphy course at Reed College in 1974 influenced the creative vision of Steve Jobs, or how a stylized stencil image of then presidential hopeful Barack Obama conceived by street artist Shepard Fairey galvanized a call for change.  The truth is that art, which is to say the expression of imagination, has profound importance in our world.

Be Liberated by the Randomness of it All

Last night I caught a screening of, All the President's Men, the 1976 political thriller about the Watergate scandal. The film is a classic and stars two of cinema's most prolific storytellers in Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford. As someone fascinated about history, politics, and film All the President's Men really captivated my attention the first time I saw it several years ago.

The first go around I remember marveling at the writing and at Hoffman and Redford's chemistry. Two actors at the top of their game, I remember thinking. Hoffman later said in preparation for the film he and Redford memorized one another's lines in addition to their own because they felt Woodward and Bernstein were the kind of guys who finished each other's sentences. The proof is in the pudding because they each deliver brilliant performances.

But last night as I saw the movie for the second time all I could think about was how terrific all the supporting actors were. Everyone was excellent. I took solace in how much talent there was in this industry and even began to consider the randomness of who "makes it" vs. who doesn't. 

Redford and Hoffman are undoubtedly great storytellers, but so was everyone else in the film. No one was less marketable, talented, or I suspect worthy of commercial success.  

A lot of young actors go mad trying to figure out what the "X Factor" is and how some actors progress in their careers, while other equally talented ones don't. I've found it's simply a big waste of time trying to come up with some algorithm or wrap your head around something beyond reasoning.

Instead, why not be liberated by the randomness of it all? Some people are just in the right place at the right time through no fault of their own and so what? It doesn't mean your talent or what you have to contribute is less valid. It simply means a few breaks didn't go your way. 

The important thing is to continue finding platforms to share your unique voice regardless of the outcome. 

Your Life Wasn't Meant to Be Lived in a Bubble

The other day I was speaking to a good friend of mine who'd been working nonstop to launch an APP she'd developed. A few months back we started a little informal Master Mind group where a group of us meet weekly to discuss our goals. "I'm so glad we're doing this," she told me. "It just forces me to drop everything, close my laptop, and get outside to see actual people."

Her comment got me thinking. I'm all for being extremely driven and putting in the hard work necessary to see our aspirations realized. But if we're not careful I think it can come at a great cost. I often talk about how fiercely competitive I was at graduate school. I'd arrive at the theater at 5:30 am in the morning and had to be the first to sign my name on the check-in sheet. I made great strides in developing my craft as an actor but it came at the expense of pushing away some people who really cared for me. I often chose competition over community and solitude over camaraderie. 

Looking back, I wish I understood what I do now: Life is not meant to be lived in a bubble. It's about relationships, community, connection, and coming up for air every once in a while. It's a constant juggling act, but it's crucial we unplug every now and then and just be around other like-minded people who make us feel good. Otherwise what's the point of it all? 

My hunch is getting to the top won't be fulfilling if you get there alone. 

What Striking Out in Slow Pitch Softball Taught Me

There are few events more humbling in life than striking out in slow pitch softball. Yet, for the first time in 13 years I managed to do just that last night. As strange as it sounds I was able to tease out several lessons from something so seemingly trivial, though I suspect it'll be quite some time before I live it down. (especially with my little brother) In any event, I took away some important realizations.

When I stepped to the plate I saw that there were two runners on base. We were down a few runs and there were two outs. I wanted so desperately to drive them in and slowly inch our way back toward victory that I swung as hard as I possibly could. "I knew you were going to strike out,"my brother later told me. You were trying to hit a 5-run homer. 

Lesson: You can't try and do too much at once. No matter the situation, keep your poise, do what you can, and don't be afraid to rely on your team.

Later on, a ball was hit in my direction in left field. The runner decided to try and stretch his hit into a double. I rifled the ball from the outfield failing to hit the shortstop for the tag. I was still thinking about my previous at-bat which had a direct influence on how I played for the remainder of the game.

Lesson: Let things go and start anew. If you don't, you'll allow your past to adversely affect the next thing you're trying to accomplish in the moment.

Believe it or not, towards the end of the game I was still ruminating about my poor performance in the game. What can I say? I hate losing. Still, I quickly realized all of the other players were in good spirits and had already forgotten about the game. It's softball after all. 

Lesson: People are so concerned about themselves they don't have time to worry about you. We're all selfish beings in our own way, wired to look out for ourselves. If there's something you're hung up on and worried others are stuck on something you've done (especially something as trivial as a poor performance in a softball rec league) you're kidding yourself. Be liberated by the fact others have moved on. You should too.

If anything, I also learned there's potential for a life lesson or two to be drawn from just about any experience. You just have to look for it.

It's Just As Important to Know Who You Don't Want to Become

I've been very lucky throughout my life. I had the great fortune of being raised by two terrific parents, growing in an open-minded community, making great friends, and seeing much of the world. The remarkable people in my life have really made my life worth living. I could go on and on about all the qualities I admire about them. They're trustworthy, ambitious, kind, funny, resilient, and have lots of integrity.

But I've also learned how they, like all of us, can get in their own way. We're all deeply flawed people living a flawed life. Our job is to try and be better than we were the day before. And I say this respectfully, but you can learn a great deal from your inner circle about the qualities and tendencies you'd also like to avoid. 

From watching the people I most love and admire I've learned I want to cultivate a greater sense of patience. I don't want to end each day watching mindless television. I want to continue to work on myself and eat well. I don't want sports to be the only topic of discussion. And I don't want to ever be late for an appointment.

Take a closer look at the people you appreciate and take into consideration both the positive and not so positive qualities you can strive towards and weave around. 

It's just as important to know who you don't want to become as it is who you do.