You're in Good Company

As a casting reader I had the good fortune of performing opposite A-list movie stars and Tony-Award Winning actors. There were times I had to pinch myself as I read opposite actors I’d long admired.

Surprisingly, the most poignant lesson I took away was not about acting at all. What I discovered was no matter how successful the storyteller, nobody is beyond getting a little nervous.

Pre-show jitters are an integral part of this industry whoever you are. The only difference is these particular actors didn’t let it stop them from sharing their voice or claiming the real estate they needed to deliver their best audition.

Remember, your challenges don’t suddenly dissipate the higher you rise. You simply trade your old problems for a set of new ones.

So if you get a little nervous before the words, “Whenever you’re ready,” rest assured you’re in good company.

What Striking Out in Slow Pitch Softball Taught Me

There are few events more humbling in life than striking out in slow pitch softball. Yet, for the first time in 13 years I managed to do just that last night. As strange as it sounds I was able to tease out several lessons from something so seemingly trivial, though I suspect it'll be quite some time before I live it down. (especially with my little brother) In any event, I took away some important realizations.

When I stepped to the plate I saw that there were two runners on base. We were down a few runs and there were two outs. I wanted so desperately to drive them in and slowly inch our way back toward victory that I swung as hard as I possibly could. "I knew you were going to strike out,"my brother later told me. You were trying to hit a 5-run homer. 

Lesson: You can't try and do too much at once. No matter the situation, keep your poise, do what you can, and don't be afraid to rely on your team.

Later on, a ball was hit in my direction in left field. The runner decided to try and stretch his hit into a double. I rifled the ball from the outfield failing to hit the shortstop for the tag. I was still thinking about my previous at-bat which had a direct influence on how I played for the remainder of the game.

Lesson: Let things go and start anew. If you don't, you'll allow your past to adversely affect the next thing you're trying to accomplish in the moment.

Believe it or not, towards the end of the game I was still ruminating about my poor performance in the game. What can I say? I hate losing. Still, I quickly realized all of the other players were in good spirits and had already forgotten about the game. It's softball after all. 

Lesson: People are so concerned about themselves they don't have time to worry about you. We're all selfish beings in our own way, wired to look out for ourselves. If there's something you're hung up on and worried others are stuck on something you've done (especially something as trivial as a poor performance in a softball rec league) you're kidding yourself. Be liberated by the fact others have moved on. You should too.

If anything, I also learned there's potential for a life lesson or two to be drawn from just about any experience. You just have to look for it.

Think Like Toni Erdmann

Last night I saw a terrific movie called, Toni Erdmann. I thought the film was actually quite profound making me consider the “bigger picture,” without hand-feeding me a message; a true testament of excellent writing.

Strangely enough, I found myself losing that perspective almost instantly when I returned home. My furniture was everywhere because of renovations and I thought for a moment I'd overlooked my flight schedule.

I wondered how everything could be going swimmingly one minute and than be in complete disarray another. How much of it was self-imposed, I later thought to myself.

I suppose the lesson was to know that life can change on a dime and we have to have the flexibility to think flexibly when it does. 

As a result, we’re more likely to keep our poise and think clearly. At least that’s how I think Toni Erdmann might approach it.

Swallow Your Pride and Learn Something

I spent my morning at a workshop for goal-setting and visualizing your future. I tried to approach the opportunity with an open-mind and without any preconceived notions.

We broke into groups and discussed what each of us came up with during a brief exercise in which we closed our eyes and pictured where we wanted to be professionally, personally, and even spiritually a year from now.

One of the coaches joined my group. He listened to each of us discuss our plans before jumping in and offering his take on how to navigate the road ahead.

He was earnest and very passionate. I tried to give over to what he was suggesting but had trouble getting past his youth, nearly wondering out loud what credibility he had. This isn’t my first rodeo, I thought to myself. 

But as the workshop went on I gave over to the belief that if I could learn just one thing it was worth my participation. I needed to be more flexible in my thinking, make an effort to take in the point of view of another person before deciding to dismiss it, or apply it.

In the end, the lesson was: swallow your pride and focus on what you can gain. Someone, no matter who, will ALWAYS know something that you don't.

Listen As If Your Life Depends On It

I continue to be amazed at how the many lessons learned on a cold hardwood floor on the 16th floor of Riverside Church overlooking the Hudson River have lent themselves beautifully to my dad-to-day interactions in the world.

This afternoon, I interviewed for a part-time position as a public speaking and creative writing instructor to school children. Asked what the first lesson I'd teach about becoming a more engaging and compelling leader would be. "I'd teach them the importance of listening," I said without hesitation.

Listening, I've learned, is more than processing the words coming out of another's mouth. It means not thinking of what you'll say next. It is about trying to genuinely connect, to understand another's point of view, however contrasting. It means noticing more, talking less, and striving for a more nuanced and flexible way of thinking.

In short, listening is the Appian Way to riches, possibility, and discovery.