Pick Your Pain

Author, entrepreneur, and motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons."

No one I've ever spoke to has ever regretted a committed effort toward a goal even if the outcome failed to meet their expectations. We must decide if a fear of failure is worth discouraging us from trying something we know to be worth our application. My guess is that it is not.

If you want something you owe it to yourself to at least try. You'll be glad you did. 

Just Take in the People

Several months ago, I had the great fortune of visiting Belgrade. Just a few hours into my stay I struck up a conversation with a woman named Milicia at a coffee bar. I asked her if she had any advice on what I should do, or see during my stay. "Just take in the people," she said. "It's the best part." 

Last night, I took her words to heart as I walked up to 91st Street for a workshop. The unseasonably warm January day in New York allowed for a slightly more leisurely pace. I looked around as if for the first time. People walked swiftly past me en route to presumably important things.

Taking in our surroundings reminds me of how a mentor once shared how each day she sits in silence to simply observe and listen as if it were all a beautifully staged play. 

Geraldine Paige once said, "If we could only listen to each other on the stage like the animals in the forests do - as though our lives depended on it."

What I gather from taking people and our environment in is how it can influence our artistry. The more aware we are of our surroundings and the people around us, the likelier we are to be more self-aware. 

It's hard to listen on stage if we don't listen well in life.

Fear Isn't a Bad Word

A few weeks ago I talked about how the word, "anger," is not categorically bad. I argued that if channeled in a productive way great things can come of it.

I feel the same way about fear. Fear is part of our coding. Human beings are wired for survival so we're constantly on the lookout for  what we perceive to be threats. 

Several thousand years ago they came in the form of something that might eat you, but today they are much broader and for the most part less extreme.

Having fear is not only a natural part of being alive, but can also be an asset as long as we don't allow it to stifle us. Here are just a handful of fears that have propelled me and others I know to strive toward greater heights. 

- A fear of mediocrity.
- A fear of regret.
- A fear of not putting our best foot forward.
- A fear of not living life on our own terms.
- A fear of settling.
- A fear of not allowing our voice to be heard.
- A fear of giving up.
- A fear of not spending enough time with our families and friends.

But having awareness of these fears is not enough. We must mobilize and do something about them.

Lastly, fear and regret have some correlations. (at least in my case) In Bronnie Ware's 2011 book, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying here's what she stumbled upon:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Resilience is a Muscle

Winston Churchill one said,  "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. To the Ancient Greeks, enthusiasm meant "divine inspiration," or "to be filled with god."

But in order for enthusiasm to thrive, one must first cultivate a sense of resilience because inevitably your passion will be tested.

Resilience, like any muscle, must be trained. In order for it to grow that guidance must be consistent. 

In my experience, it helps to keep in mind that there will be ups and downs in your artistic career. But what is most important is maintaining a sense of poise and belief in what you do through such storms.

In time, this belief will translate to an incessant drive within, one you may not have even known you possessed; an inherent belief in yourself and mission will have been refined over time because you'll have trained your body and spirit to know no other way.

Square Peg into a Round Hole

Stephen Hawking once noted, "Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change." A poignant observation from a very intelligent man. 

I arrived back in New York City yesterday after several months away. One of the most exhilarating times of my life was moving here to attend drama school many years ago. Everything was out in front and the possibilities seemed limitless.

For a long time, each time I returned I tried to recreate that experience - that same feeling. But as I've gotten older I've realized how important it is to move forward with the times. 

People change, cities change, and our relationships to everything evolves over time. Trying to hold on to the past is like forcing a square peg into a round hole. It just doesn't work that way.

The beauty of all this change, as scary as it might be, is it allows for growth as long as we're open to it. The shininess might have worn off, but there's also great value in having a little life under your belt and applying what you've learned. 

Of course, lending a hand along the way to those traveling the path you once trotted is also deeply rewarding. 

There's Always Room for Improvement

There are few things more rewarding in life than becoming a master craftsman at that which you love to do. A sense of confidence, meaning, and skill comes with doing something for years on end.

But I've also learned that a sense of hubris can accompany that ability if one isn't careful. I probably failed to take in some valuable lessons over the years because I thought I already knew what someone was trying to teach me, or thought I could figure it out on my own. 

The truth is, someone will always know something you don't. And even if they do know something that you do, they'll be interpreting it from a completely different perspective.

No matter where you're at, or how good you are at your craft, there's always room to get better. Always.

The Power of a Good Morning Routine

One question I'm asked quite a bit from other actor and artist friends is how to put together a daily structure. The life of an artist is many things, but structured seldom comes to mind. 

Actors in particular are conditioned to drop everything should an audition, or acting job present itself.

What I learned the first few years after drama school was I might not have control over what happened throughout the day, but I could determine how my day started and ended.

Here a few quick tips you might find helpful:

-- Try starting the day by saying 5 things you're grateful for. They need not be earth-shattering. You can be grateful for the thread count in your comforter.

Beginning the day from a place of gratitude starts the day on productive/positive tone helping you focus less on what you don't have.

-- Try reading something positive/educational for 30 minutes.

-  Carve out a little time to sit in silence, focus on your breathing, and take a little personal inventory. You don’t need to be a Zen Master and can do it for as little as a minute or two.

Equally important are avoiding the pitfalls. Here's what I try to avoid at all costs when the alarm goes off:

-- Toxic headlines. Beginning your day with car chases, robberies, natural disasters, and political gridlock dancing in your head is hard to get past. Be socially aware and civic-minded, but do it in a way that protects your mind. Filter the information you take in. 

-  Checking email, texts, or social media. Yeah, I said it. Research shows by starting your day answering the priorities of other people instead of your own, your productivity for the week plummets more than 30 %. 

You can download the "Creativity Day Planner" with all of this information and more at www.nickmaccarone.com in just a few days. 

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