Fear Isn't a Bad Word

A few weeks ago I talked about how the word, "anger," is not categorically bad. I argued that if channeled in a productive way great things can come of it.

I feel the same way about fear. Fear is part of our coding. Human beings are wired for survival so we're constantly on the lookout for  what we perceive to be threats. 

Several thousand years ago they came in the form of something that might eat you, but today they are much broader and for the most part less extreme.

Having fear is not only a natural part of being alive, but can also be an asset as long as we don't allow it to stifle us. Here are just a handful of fears that have propelled me and others I know to strive toward greater heights. 

- A fear of mediocrity.
- A fear of regret.
- A fear of not putting our best foot forward.
- A fear of not living life on our own terms.
- A fear of settling.
- A fear of not allowing our voice to be heard.
- A fear of giving up.
- A fear of not spending enough time with our families and friends.

But having awareness of these fears is not enough. We must mobilize and do something about them.

Lastly, fear and regret have some correlations. (at least in my case) In Bronnie Ware's 2011 book, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying here's what she stumbled upon:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Be Bold But Not Reckless

Nobody ever sits on their deathbed and says, "Man, I'm glad I never took any risks." Instead, we often regret the opportunities we missed, or passed on altogether.

In fact, Bronnie Ware's book, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, reveals the number one qualm people had about their lives was living on someone else's terms.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/03/top-5-regrets-of-the-dying_n_3640593.html

Still, in a culture replete with hashtags, mantras, and motivational gurus one would be forgiven for losing perspective on what it even means to live boldly.  Does it mean doing something dangerous? Drastic? And according to who?

Acting has taught me many lessons about living fully. Kristin Linklater, an enormously influential mentor in my life, was in essence telling my class to speak up when their is wrong, strive to become better each day, see the world, listen intently, refuse complacency, to love, to risk, and if we were lucky we might become great actors in the process - as a byproduct.

In other words, becoming a great actor was secondary to becoming a three-dimensional person.

Define what living fully means to YOU. It doesn't have to line-up with someone else's definition of what it means to be. To live.

In the words of Robert DeNiro, "Be bold, but not reckless."