Saturday mornings have seldom, if ever, been a day of idleness in my life. And today was no exception. I left the house just before 8:00 am and headed over to San Francisco, grinning from ear to ear as I crossed a nearly empty Bay Bridge. My friend Julie was hoping to get together so we could catch up after several months apart. She also wanted me to see her son, who somehow, was already two years old.
As the three of us constructed Lego cities and pushed trains along a windy track, we talked about what people tend to talk about: work, family, and the future. Julie was one of the most successful people I knew. She'd attended Ivy League schools, was thriving at her law practice, and married an ideal partner. And now, she also had a beautiful son.
Despite all of that, she confessed to still feeling a certain level of angst and judgement from her parents about what she could be doing better; a confession that completely confounded me. What could they possibly have to gripe about? I thought.
I then began to think about my own life and the many friends I had back in New York and Los Angeles; actors that had experienced the same protests for pursuing unstable and profoundly difficult careers in the arts. Admittedly, I'd felt the same worries from my own folks from time to time. Though they were patient and supportive in many ways, they didn't fully grasp their child's desire to live life on stage, or in front of a camera.
It dawned on me that good parents, friends, and colleagues would always offer feedback, which would sometimes take the form of criticism. As earnest as someone's intentions can be, it's often just a projection of their own failures, or regrets for not chasing their own dreams.
As an artist there are countless challenges you will face, including the inevitable, and sometimes very loud call to conformity. This morning, after realizing that even conventionally successful people experience the same strain, my takeaway was this: be grateful you have people in your life who care enough about you to offer their take then hug your dream even tighter, protecting it at all costs.
You're the only one who needs to understand why you do what you do.
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