Decide for Yourself

This morning I met with a close friend's mother to discuss a project I'd been working on since moving back to Oakland. My idea was to create an online community of like-minded people by building a website that produced only positive news, culture, and events. I knew Mrs. Lee would be an excellent resource since she was such a seasoned and well-respected change-maker in the Bay Area nonprofit world.

I showed up at 10:00 am sharp and was greeted warmly. I took a seat at the kitchen table where a handful of warm blueberry scones and fresh sliced mangos awaited me. I opened my laptop before glancing down at the family's Welsh Corgi who looked at me longingly hoping I'd drop a crumb or two.

We spoke easily as the morning light poured through the large kitchen windows. "Sometimes we get really beautiful sunsets," she said. As I sipped my green tea and nibbled on my pastry, I listened attentively as she navigated me through the complicated nuances and setbacks of starting a business. It was a 2 x 4 of truth across the forehead I absolutely needed, and strangely wanted to hear. My background as an actor had taught me the value of self-awareness and to not fear hards truths. "It's really tough," she said. "Some people make it and some people don't." I nodded. I felt briefly as though I were talking to a casting director.

Just before I gathered my belongings and set to leave she shared a family tale. "Let me tell you a story about my son," she said. "When he was really young he was always into architecture. But as someone who worked in the nonprofit world I knew how hard it was to make a living out of it. Lots of architects end up just drafting. So I suggested he consider graphic design. And he's really good at it and eventually got really lucky and found a good job."

I appreciated the story's moral and gave it some thought. "That's great that he found something he's good at," I said. She smiled.

As I pushed my laptop into my bag I heard Mrs. Lee say, "It's good to have passion." I nodded. "It's good. But sometimes it can be exhausting," I joked. "I just don't know how else to be."

I thanked her for her time and headed to my car. On the way, I couldn't help but think, If I were him, I can't imagine not having gone for it as an architect. 

Neither conclusion was right or wrong. I realized we all just need to decide who we are and how bad we want something.