If You Can Learn One Thing It's Worth It

There were times during drama school where many of classmates and I felt as though we were being trained by the Marine Corps. "They break you down so they can build you back up."

As a young actor eager to please his instructors and make strides in developing his craft as a storyteller, I took nearly every critique of my work to heart. And because many of my instructors were well-respected mentors I looked up to and trusted, I treated their words as law.

But as I got older and developed a greater understanding of the world, myself, and myself in the world I realized the importance of sifting through feedback. I learned to hold onto ideas that worked for me, while discarding the ones that didn't. 

In the end, I decided to take criticism without getting defensive. Instead, I convinced myself feedback was worth listening to (from people whose opinion I valued) if I could gain just one new nugget of wisdom. I understood that one new valuable insight could change a great deal for the better.

What is the Cost?

If you've been an actor, or artist long enough chances are you've had to defend your decision to pursue a less conventional path at some point. Maybe there's been a spirited debate or two between parents, or friends still holding out for the off-chance you'll become a doctor. "There's still time!" you may have heard.

Change is unsettling to most. It challenges people's understanding of the world - or at least what they think they know. It creates disharmony in our routines, and oh, how people love routine.

Still, at some point YOU have to decide who's life you're going to live. Your time on this planet is limited and many of our decisions have far more significant impact down the road than we can imagine. 

There's an impressive list of folks who kept their head down and decided to appease a parent, or a loved one at great sacrifice - by giving up that which they held most dear; the pursuit of becoming a creator, a dreamer, an artist.

Ask yourself, what is the cost of living someone else's life?

They May Disagree, But They'll Respect You

I recently had a conversation with someone who not so subtly tried to persuade me to replace the gentlemen I hired for a project. No doubt, he had my best interests at heart and thought I'd given the person I hired a big enough window to get the job done.

The problem was the man I hired for the job was a close friend who I didn't feel had been given a "fair shake." From the very start, wires had been crossed and I'd failed on several occasions to clarify my objectives. "I'm going to give him a few more months," I finally said. My decision was met with disapproval. 

The next day after I'd phoned my friend and talked about the adjustments we needed to make to reach our goals I met with the same person who half a day before tried to convince me to move forward with someone else.

I told him I'd had a conversation with my friend and that we now had a plan on how to press on with deadlines in place. 

"I think that's a good idea," he said. "I'm like you. I'm very loyal to my friends." That's interesting, I thought.

If you feel strong about something, stand your ground. People may not agree with you at first or ever, but chances are they'll at least respect you.

10 % Learning 90 % Activity Knowledge

I recently heard someone use the term, "over-motivated underachiever" to describe the type of person who listens, reads, and invests in all kinds of personal growth resources but fails to apply any of the lessons he's learned. As a result, you've amassed a huge amount of theory but taken no action.

I've discovered that motivation is a byproduct of starting. In other words, you have to begin the task at hand to activate and build momentum.

Learn by doing.  

There's Great Value in Failure

There's a terrific TED Talk floating around out there by a gentlemen named, Jia Jiang. It's titled, "What I learned from 100 days of rejection."

http://www.ted.com/talks/jia_jiang_what_i_learned_from_100_days_of_rejection

Not only is it funny and insightful but I found it incredibly relevant to the lives of actors and artists.

Jiang explains that as a young man he was absolutely petrified of rejection but his desire to follow in the footsteps of his childhood idol Bill Gates influenced him to overcome his fear. 

As a result, for 100 days he decided to ask people for seemingly outrageous requests, literally turning to run the first time he was told, "No."

In time, he discovered standing your ground and literally facing your fears revealed that not getting what we ask for is not nearly as bad as we make it out to be in our minds.

He also realized that most of the time people's refusal to comply to his requests seldom had anything  to do with him. In other words, it was almost never personal. In fact, on occasion he managed to reshape and influence people's way of thinking through the nature and depth of his demand. A few times he even got what he asked for.

Failure is just feedback. Nothing more.

Just Keep Getting Better

If you spend years beating on your craft chances are you will become quite polished in your artistry. Others will look to you, seek your advice, and your skill set will start to cement a nice reputation for you.

Unfortunately, it's also easy to grow content with where you're at. You may start to casually overlook workshops, or coaching sessions arguing it's not necessary.

But if there's one lesson I've learned as an actor it's that there is ALWAYS room for improvement. If you don't continue to get better others will eventually catch up.

Invest in getting better each day instead of defending where you're already at.

Speak Up and Out

One of the most valuable lessons I took away from drama school was learning how to speak up when I had something on my mind.

The impulse would often arise during a rehearsal for a scene, play, or the occasional student film. The topics weren't earth-shattering, but important enough where I felt I needed to speak up about the direction, or tone the story should take.

Sometimes my ideas were applied and many times they were brushed off. Still, I took solace in the fact I'd voiced my concerns.

Learning when to speak up or silently table an idea became equally important off-stage as well.