Holding Yourself to a High Standard Vs. Being Too Hard on Yourself

There's a difference between holding yourself to a high standard and being too hard on yourself. Admittedly, I haven't always been great at separating the two. Having high hopes and ambitious goals means making sacrifices, but does depriving yourself of certain things mean you're not as generous with yourself as you should be? I suppose it all depends on how you view those sacrifices.

I've come to believe that a safe indicator of whether or not we could stand to be a little kinder to ourselves is asking the question, Would I treat another person the way I treat myself? If the answer is no, there's likely an opportunity to be more patient, forgiving, and understanding when we have a setback, lapse in judgment, and come up short. 

Personally, being hard on myself has allowed me to cultivate some strong habits and I've programed myself not to settle for less than I think I'm capable of. But it can come at a cost. I remember as a young acting student at Columbia University, I often chose solitude over camaraderie and competition over community. And though I made great strides in my craft as an actor, I felt bankrupt in many of the arenas of my life that really mattered.

The point is, you can hold yourself to a high standard and still recognize that you're human and aren't always going to get it right. When we lean into our imperfections and allow ourselves to just unwind from time to time, you're on your way to cultivating a sense of discipline with a healthy sense of balance. 

Now it's up to you to figure out what that looks like.