A Few Quick Thoughts on Happiness for 2018

I once heard an actor I admired reveal in an interview how he thought happiness was overrated. I remember the journalist sitting across from him nearly collapse, as he sat awestruck by the proclamation. 
   
But in some perverse way I actually understood where the guy was coming from. 

From Socrates to Freud, the remarkably elusive emotional state of well-being has been poked, prodded, and dissected for literally thousands of years. What is happiness and how do we all get more of it?

The most poignant observation of happiness I've heard in recent memory came from author and TV host, Rabbi Shmuley who said, "Happiness is a byproduct of living a life of meaning." 

In other words, happiness is not something you can actively pursue but rather the result of doing work YOU believe to be worthwhile.

Whatever your theory on attaining more mental contentment can we call agree there are a few vital ingredients to happiness?

Lucky for us, the ancient Greek Philosopher Epicurus thought so. 

Epicurus was born on the Greek island of Samos, roughly 270 miles from Athens. Perhaps best known for giving us words like, wait for it, "Epicurean," which refers to a person devoted exclusively to pleasure, the philosopher was also known for establishing schools and contributing his prolific doctrines on hedonism, pleasure, and materialism. 

But what did his philosophy entail exactly and is it accurate, or even fair to link Epicurus with only sensuality and self-indulgence? 

Or was there more to it?   

Unlike Socrates, whose main pursuits lied in uncovering the sturdy tenets of logic and sound argument, Epicurus's feelings on happiness evolved into appreciating something many of us already have but tend to overlook.

As Alain de Botton points out in, Consolations of Philosophy Epicurus valued the following above all else:

1. Friendship

2. Freedom

3. Thought

"Wealth is of course unlikely to ever make anyone miserable. But the crux of Epicurus's argument is that if we have money without friends, freedom and an analyzed life, we will never be truly happy. And if we have them, but are missing the fortune, we will never be unhappy."

Unfortunately, marketing, television, and even the circles we choose to surround ourselves with don't help a great deal in promoting those simple treasures. 

Instead, we believe material possessions to be valid solutions to wants we don't fully comprehend. 

In other words, we fail to understand our complexity, our delicate subtleties and as result look outside rather than in. 

Start 2018 by looking closer to the friends, freedom, and capacity for resourceful thought already at your fingertips.

GO

Several months back while visiting Granada I rented a scooter. I couldn’t help myself. I strolled past the bright red bikes standing proudly beneath a merciless sun the day before and swore they were calling my name.

The friendly gentlemen working behind the counter went by Juliano.

“I want to go to Laguna Apoyo,” I told him.

“Yeah, you could do that,” he said. “Just don’t take it to San Juan del Sur.”

I didn’t know exactly how far San Juan del Sur was but did know it wasn’t terribly far from Costa Rica. All this to say it wasn’t close to Granada.

“No problem,” I assured him as I started to mull over the seed he’d just planted.

I made my way through the busy streets of Granada picking up as many stares as exhaust fumes from the locals. I must have embodied a thousand stereotypes under my tight red helmet

At this point in my life, the looks I draw are a familiar part of my globetrotting experience no matter what corner of the planet I saunter through. Regardless, of the hemisphere or time zone people everywhere indelicately play world atlas with my face.

I just sit and smile.

I reached the turn off for Laguna Apoyo without a great deal of trouble. I stopped a few times to ask for directions, which was surprisingly productive considering I knew neither the land nor the language.

I don’t see it yet but can feel it. I manage to climb quite high at one point before spotting this majestic oasis. There it is, I think to myself. It’s beautiful.

Moments later I fall off my scooter, while trying to get up a steep and bumpy road I had no business riding on.

I scratch up the no longer impeccable front fender. I’m okay but it certainly takes a bounce from my step as I begin to dread breaking the news to Juliano back in Granada.

I wonder just how much of my $100 deposit he plans to pocket.

Eventually, I get it together and make my way back down the mountain so I can get a closer peek at the lagoon. I pass schoolchildren, stores, gaunt looking horses, and resorts all within a single stretch of mile.

I feel mixed emotions as a rare sense of freedom washes over me. I have so much, I think. These people have almost nothing.

There’s an intensity to the poverty here that’s unsettling — the same destitution I saw in Nepal, Haiti, and South Africa. It seems with each place I visit the level of need gets dialed up. I don’t know what to do about it all, but promise myself I won’t allow my uncertainty to evolve into ambivalence.

As I inch closer to the lagoon it begins to rain. My body is drenched as I weave my way out of the forest and back to the main road. I’ve seen what I came for.

I reach the highway and must now decide to turn back or make my way home to Granada. A nearly empty tank of gas tells me it’s time to pack it but I’m not ready for it all to end.

I hook a left and off I GO.

Big rigs, motorcycles, and impatient cab drivers swerve around as I begin to appreciate the insanity riding such a thing on a Central American interstate demands. Perhaps it’s why I don’t see a single tourist doing the same.

It’s this very singularity, however misguided, I love.

I haven’t felt freer for as long as I can recall. I’d drive this flimsy little thing to Russia if I could. I don’t ever want to get off this bike. Everything, as in my youth of youths is out in front.

I suddenly feel I’ve started over and there’s a calling to be realized, a land to be explored, a great love to be met.

It’s all just up ahead.

I can practically see it.

3 Ways to Make a Character Your Own

1. Honor the given circumstances. Start with what you know. If a playwright has included details about a character’s job, age, or how an experience has influenced the way he or she interacts with their environment, I incorporate that information into my personalization of the role. Remember, those specifics were put into the script for a reason. I can’t play the Elephant Man as agile and graceful, but I can choose how his impairments affect the way he sees the world. So long as I am honoring the given circumstances, I can also create my own backstory and decide how they shape my relationships and overall objective.

2. Find freedom within structure. Think of building a character like composing a jazz number. A pianist doesn’t just get onstage and start riffing. A skilled musician can only improvise if they’ve first mastered the written composition. The marriage of your personalization and the play’s definitive truths (setting, age, etc.) makes the work not only your own but more specific. Ask yourself, “What excites me about the character? How do I identify with him or her?”

3. Tell the story on the page. Back in grad school I performed in my favorite play, “A Doll’s House.” I took into account that Torvald was a newly promoted bank manager, had three children, and lived in an upscale sector of society. Those given circumstances informed the way I walked, talked, and how I might treat someone who didn’t share my status. I then mastered the text and took ownership of the language, making the part my own. I had gradually pieced together a three-dimensional character.

But I also lost sight of the fact that my job was to tell the story on the page, to be of service to something bigger than myself. I was standing out for the sake of standing out, which affected the quality of my listening and ability to make it about the other person onstage. Eventually, I discovered I could still make bold choices, but they needed to be of value to the overall story.