As I got further and further into my acting career, one of the challenges I began to wrestle with most was how my work would be received by the world. As a young actor, there was rarely a moment where I doubted the influence I had delivering a Shakespeare monologue, or a scene from Pinter. I was presumptuous and wildly naive.
As I became more experienced, I realized not everyone cared about the work I'd put into bringing a character to life, or the stories I so desperately wanted to tell. And looking back on it, I wonder what I expected of people. Did I really believe the spotlight, both literally and figuratively should always shine on me? Who did I think I was?
Still, it proved a difficult hump to get over for a long time. Though my hangups may have been rooted to some degree in selfishness, my intentions were also earnest. I simply wanted to share my passion with anyone who'd listen.
What I forgot was the work first needed to matter to me. It was that level of authenticity to myself and my creativity that had first drawn people in. And because for so many years the work was inherently meaningful, I wasn't so disheartened when others didn't share my sentiments.
It's a bummer when the house lights go on and you see scores of empty seats. If you're an actor long enough it'll happen more often than not.
But what's important is to remember why the work matters in the first place. If it resonates with you and you still feel it matters than you'll learn to take the ambivalence of others less personally.
No comments:
Post a Comment