What a World Traveler Taught me About Dealing with Setbacks

Year ago, while working a catering job I struck up a conversation with a gentlemen in his 50s. He'd been away from his Central New York roots for many years and recently returned. The catering job was a way for him to gradually get his footing before figuring out what to do next; a sentiment I'd grow all too well to appreciate in the years to come.

"I been all over the world," I remember him saying. "What have you learned?" I asked. He paused before picking his words carefully. "Your problems follow you wherever you go,"he told me. 

I can't recall a word we said afterwards and would be hard pressed to describe him to a sketch artist but for whatever reason I never forgot his observation. I suppose it's because in the 44 countries I've visited his theory remains infallible.

Just as travel is not the answer to enlightenment it is also not the antidote to one's woes, however small or complicated. Travel can offer a megaphone to the voices within that we so skillfully silence in our day-to-day lives when feeling isn't convenient.

Because you have the time to really think when you're abroad you can begin to take inventory of just about everything in your life -- the ups, downs, and in-betweens. 

It is difficult work but important work. It's also so worth doing. For on the other side comes perspective.

And if we make room for it GROWTH.

I Couldn't Believe They Cared

Yesterday, I had the privilege of speaking at an alumni event. The organizer graciously allowed me to share my message of, The 4 Truths of Creating Your Own Opportunities. I spent several months carefully crafting my message before delivering the talk in Cleveland, Ohio a week before. 

But at Case Western Reserve University the audience consisted of 20-somethings, many who were just about to graduate and embark on their professional careers. In my mind the talk was far more appropriate for a group of millenials.

I rarely get nervous before speaking in public, but yesterday as I gazed out to a room full of brilliant, accomplished, and older audience members I nearly wondered out loud if topics like, create your own opportunities, avoid toxic people, protect your time, and fall madly in love with failure would not only be too pedestrian for the group but a little beneath them.

Clearly this wildly successful group of data scientists, serial entrepreneurs, attorneys, and doctors know all of this already! I thought. I'm just wasting their time. 

I felt like a complete amateur.

Still, I decided to give the talk everything I had. I infused the speech with passion, purpose, and did my best to be open and vulnerable about my failures.

After the talk nearly everyone in that room approached me thanking me for what I had to say:

"Thank you so much for that great talk," one said.

"I needed to hear that," another chimed in.

"It's amazing how much crossover there is in both the acting world and business world," a gentlemen shared. "Do you have a business card?"

"Would you be willing to speak to some of my colleagues?" another asked.

"Hey Nick, can you send me that talk once it comes out online? I want to share it with my son."

I was SHOCKED! 

I couldn't believe anybody cared.

There I was wishing I had the background or intellect to talk about the next great start-up they should consider investing in, or what vaccine I'd been working on while what they really needed to hear were simple reminders of our shared humanity.

It reminded me of something I constantly preach (but apparently had forgotten). 

EVERYONE has something of value to offer. 

What keeps most people from sharing their unique gifts is a lack of belief in that proclamation.

I've seen it time and time again and was not so subtly reminded of it yesterday:

If you can share what you know through personalization, vulnerability, and honesty people WILL listen. 

However big or small, there IS an audience waiting for you.  

If you teach it they will come.

Only Quality People

World renown motivational speaker and author Les Brown has a term he likes to use when describing the folks he surrounds himself with -- Only Quality People or O.Q.T 

He understands the power of associations and credits much of his success to hanging around people who inspire him rather than bring him down.

There is actually data to support the value of associating with like-minded people who have your back, support your vision, challenge, inspire, and bring out your greatest potential. 

You will make within $2,000 - $3,000 of the people you're closest too. If you associate with people who don't take care of themselves and are overweight your chances of falling into the same patterns increase by 57 %.

Also, if you write down your goals you're 39% more likely to accomplish them but if you have an accountability partner who holds your feet to the fire that number jumps to nearly 75%.

Who we hang around matters. If you want to be great get around people who are at a level you want to be. Find a coach, mentor, or someone that knows something you don't. 

Simply clinging to people who are versed in different variants of skills and knowledge you already possess is not enough.