Choose Impact Over Self-Importance

In high school my standardized test scores were so low I had to take the SAT's twice. 

I once asked if I was sent by "the enemy" after I failed for the 5th time to grasp the system in place at a homeless shelter I was volunteering at.

My first screenplays were so bad my friends didn't even know where to begin with their feedback.

As a kid, I was a great third baseman but couldn't hit the ball if my life depended on it.

-- And in college I once received a paper from a professor, who was once the ambassador to the Ivory Coast, that said, "Nick, I don't much understand what you're trying to say and I suppose you don't either."

The point is that some of my shortcomings were failures to push myself, while others were simply abilities I lacked. As a young man any talk of deficiencies would have compelled me to get defensive. I'd take criticism personally and fail to recognize the ways I could leverage my strengths, while being a shrewd judge of my shortcomings.

As I get older I realize how liberating it is to recognize you're not going to be good at everything. We're all given certain superpowers, or the ability to do certain things better than others. It's important we take stock of those gifts and find ways to use them for positive impact.

Unfortunately, a lot of people never grow up to realize all the teachable moments failure and deficiency can offer. A fixed mindset offers a stale outlook and a refusal to be open to ways to get better at life. One of the most counterproductive ways this philosophy can manifest itself is through defending bad ideas. Because we're insecure about our intellect, resume, or get caught up in comparing ourselves to others we allow our ego rather than humility to be our north star. When this happens the "meritocracy of ideas," as Ray Dalio calls it, gets buried in the rubble caused by insecurity.

What's much more interesting and courageous is recognizing when we aren't the best at something, or don't have the most influential idea, and instead identifying when someone else does. Rather than claiming ownership for something we didn't come up with we can do something much more engaging, uplifting, and noble: we can become the proprietor's biggest fan, supporting his or her idea as if our life depended on it. 

In the process, we lift each other up instead of leave one another behind. As a result, attainment of our goals becomes much more about creating impact rather than self-importance. And when we get behind someone something remarkable begins to happen: we gain the trust of others through our humility and conscious commitment to put the priorities of the group ahead of our own.

You're Not Going to Be Good at Everything and That's Okay -- The Value of Emotional Intelligence

I once asked by an exasperated supervisor if I was “sent by the enemy,” when I failed to grasp the system in place at the homeless shelter he ran. Being moved by rousing political speeches and fascinated by foreign policy didn’t mean I was cut out for politics. And you can bet the cost of a ballpark beer I’ll never hit a baseball out Yankee Stadium. Today I’m okay with those realities, while just a few years ago any talk of limitations would have simply compelled me to work harder. 

Now, I choose to focus on my strengths, while learning the skills needed to grow both personally and professionally. As a result, my efforts have become more deliberate and focused. I've learned to leverage my strengths while becoming a shrewd judge of my shortcomings. Both have proved indispensable as I try to grow my speaking and writing practice.