The Key to a Compelling Life -- Saying, "I can't believe I did that."

Have you ever looked back on something you did and really surprised yourself? Maybe you told a classmate you had feelings for her. Maybe you're deathly afraid of heights but didn't want to disappoint someone you cared about and somehow mustered up the courage to take a ride in a hot air balloon.

Have you ever gotten past a challenging experience and wondered years later how on earth you got through it all? Were you surprised you it in you to weather those personal storms, or muscle through something you didn't particularly want to do but knew you just had to?

The older I get the more I appreciate how a compelling life is built upon these experiences -- that the key to living a bold and full life is having a disproportionate number of "I can't believe I had that in me," experiences to safe ones.

In no way am I advocating living recklessly. I am saying that living big means stepping out of your comfort zone again and again.

When I look back on my own experiences I sometimes can't believe I had the courage to think of them, let alone go through with them. Whether it was jumping out of plane to go skydiving for my friend's 30th birthday, or getting into a cage with great white sharks in South Africa, those experiences not only shaped me in meaningful ways but cultivated a unique skill set: the ability to more often say, "I'll try that."

And it isn't just the experiences that required a little boldness that I reflect on with a bit of nostalgia, but also the ones that I was quite sure I wouldn't get through at the time; a rough breakup with a partner, teacher training, getting over the loss of a loved one, and so on. Those times fundamentally shaped my life's trajectory and now there's no turning back. I couldn't play it safe if I wanted to and for that I'm enormously grateful.

Be brave,but not reckless. Live boldly and in time you too will discover there's no other way to live out your days.

Know Why, then Figure out How

This afternoon I met up with a fellow actor. We talked about her one-person show and how excited she was to see something she worked hard to develop finally come to pass. She told me friends told her for years to write a one-woman show but that it just didn't seem right until now. "I didn't feel the need to write something just to be seen."

Her comment resonated with me. I too had worked for many months on a one-man show, chronicling the transition in my life. I suppose I started writing because I felt the need to cling to an identity I had know for so long.

When I met up with an old teacher of mine whose opinion I valued he said, "I'm happy to offer my feedback, but my first question is, do you need to tell this story?" I remember sort of shuffling my feet and staring at hands before admitting I didn't.

It's important that we find creative ways to get our voice out into the world and take advantage of the countless platforms now available for us to do so. But it won't really mean anything if we don't know why we're doing what we're doing. Getting a play, or a film made is so challenging that if you don't have a deep enough "why," it's likely you'll tire quick and hang it up. Your heart somehow knows when it's being duped.

Know why, then figure out how.