Lessons from "Good Will Hunting"

Every few years I'll feel this strange compulsion to watch the film, Good Will Hunting. And though I like the movie a great deal I watch it because of the time it reminds me of. The story is about a young man named Will Hunting who has a genius-level IQ and remarkable talents the world is ready for him to share. 

The protagonist, Will Hunting, played by Matt Damon is in his early twenties. And like Will, when I saw this film, I too felt like everything was out in front. The world was ready for me to take it. I was a senior in high school and about to head out for college. The timing of the film's release could not have been more pertinent. 

I recently came across an interview with Matt Damon where he was asked what he was thinking when he won the Oscar for the film. Mind you, he was 27! His answer really surprised me:

I suddenly had this kind of thing wash over me where I thought, Imagine chasing that and not getting it and getting it finally in your 80s or your 90s with all of life behind you and realizing, what an unbelievable waste. It can't fill you up. If that's a hole that you have that won't fill it. I felt so blessed to have that awareness at 27. 

I hope his words bring great solace to those who postpone happiness and believe their well-being should hinge on some arbitrary form of validation represented through some plated copper stick figure. 

Don't get me wrong, awards are wonderful and we should all strive towards great things, but not at the cost of losing perspective of the bigger picture, and losing out on life experiences to do so. 

Fill yourself up with life first and there will then be an understanding that everything else like awards or recognition will have its place, but not be a means to defining one self. 

Your life is about SO much more.

The Quality of Our Listening

Matt Damon was once asked how important it is to listen as an actor. “Listening is everything,” he said. Geraldine Page once noted, “If we could only listen on stage like the animals in the forests do – as though our lives depended on it.” And finally, Stephen Covey, famed author of The 7 Habit of Highly Effective People once observed “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."

I’m convinced a great deal of miscommunication begins with the quality of  our listening. Whether the cashier at your favorite coffee shop asks you, “Hot or cold and what size?” after you’ve clearly relayed you want a medium hot tea, or divides widen on more polarizing issues like gun control or immigration when a consensus may be closer than one believes overshadowed by taking a snippet of what one has said, and molding it into something completely different.

Listening matters. But heightened listening, whether on stage or not, with the intent to appreciate another’s point of view makes all the difference.